TOM UTLEY: Why I'll no longer need that WWI gas mask I wore to change my son's nappy if I'm called on to do the same for my grandchildren
One of the strangest 現在のs we've ever been given was a World War I gas mask, in its 初めの cylindrical canister, 現在のd to us in 1990 for our 10th (tin) wedding 周年記念日.
I wondered what on earth we were supposed to do with it. 陳列する，発揮する it as an ornament? Wear it to fancy dress parties? Use it for kinky bedroom games? 非，不，無 of those 選択s 控訴，上告d to me.
But when our third son （機の）カム along the に引き続いて year, that mask turned out to be 極端に useful, since it made almost bearable a parental 義務 that had always filled me with unutterable disgust.?
Yes, I know that few fathers (or mothers, for that 事柄) 活発に like changing dirty nappies. But in my 事例／患者, the aversion was something visceral ? an 激烈な／緊急の form of coprophobia that made me gag and retch on those mercifully rare occasions when Mrs U wasn't around to do the 職業 herself.
So the gas mask 証明するd a lifesaver (though not in the way for which it was designed) and I would wear it whenever it fell to me to do the honours for son number three.
God knows what went through that poor baby's mind at the terrifying sight of his father leaning over him, kitted out for ざん壕 戦争. 十分である it to say that if he turns out to have been traumatised for life, he will know who to 非難する.
I'm happy to 報告（する）／憶測, however, that my coprophobia appears to have become much いっそう少なく 厳しい as I've grown older.
In our 早期に years, for example, I would always use a mechanical pooper-scooper to （疑いを）晴らす up after our dog in the park, because the very thought of doing the 職業 manually, with nothing to 保護する my 手渡す but a poo 捕らえる、獲得する, would 始める，決める my stomach churning.
One of the strangest 現在のs we've ever been given was a World War I gas mask, in its 初めの cylindrical canister, 現在のd to us in 1990 for our 10th (tin) wedding 周年記念日, 令状s Tom Utley (above)
When our third son （機の）カム along the に引き続いて year, that mask turned out to be 極端に useful, since it made almost bearable a parental 義務 that had always filled me with unutterable disgust (在庫／株)
I know that few fathers (or mothers, for that 事柄) 活発に like changing dirty nappies - but in my 事例／患者, the aversion was something visceral (在庫／株)
True, I still dislike doing it ? and I certainly can't agree with a friend who tells me she loves （疑いを）晴らすing up fresh dog poo because it keeps her 手渡す warm. Yuck!
But I dispensed with the mechanical scooper long ago because, these days, using only a poo 捕らえる、獲得する doesn't bother me half as much as it used to.
In that 尊敬（する）・点, it appears that I'm unusual の中で my sex.
Or so says an academic 熟考する／考慮する, published this week in the specialist 定期刊行物, Physiology And Behaviour, which finds that men tend to become more 傾向がある to feelings of disgust as they grow older. Women, on the other 手渡す, are said to grow いっそう少なく so as they approach old age.
If I understand the 研究員s 正確に, their theory is that women are more 用心深い of 可能性のある 運送／保菌者s of 病気 during their child-耐えるing years, since they have to consider not only their own health, but that of any unborn babies they may 耐える.
This makes them recoil in their 青年 from unfamiliar foods, unpleasant smells, dirty sheets, nose-選ぶing, the sight of footballers gobbing on the pitch and the like. But as they get older, and pass the menopause, they become more relaxed about such things because they have only themselves to think about.
In contrast, they say, we men are more easily disgusted as the years pass, because the passage of time makes us more 攻撃を受けやすい to 病気. So it is that we become more picky about what we eat and いっそう少なく tolerant of sights, smells and behaviour that might not have bothered us in the past.
I don't know about you but it all soun ds like rubbish to me. In my own experience, anyway, I no longer shudder at things I once 設立する 反乱ing ? and I'm not thinking only about （疑いを）晴らすing up dog poo.
I certainly can't agree with a friend who tells me she loves （疑いを）晴らすing up fresh dog poo because it keeps her 手渡す warm - yuck! (在庫／株)
Take food. In my 青年, I just couldn't stand 肝臓 and would 辞退する to touch it if anyone served it up to me.
I suppose this 時代遅れの from my time i n the 1960s at a Suffolk 搭乗 school, which I …に出席するd from the ages of eight to 13. There, the grey, gristly pig's 肝臓 we were いつかs given for lunch had a repulsive crumbly texture to it.
It 階級d, with tapioca and semolina, の中で the three dishes I most dreaded to see on the school lunch menu.
I would sit there, retching between mouthfuls, as a matron stood over me, telling me I couldn't leave the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する until I'd finished every 捨てる.
All 権利, to this day I can't がまんする tapioca or semolina, with its 反乱ing texture of gelatinous frogspawn (fellow 苦しんでいる人s from school dinners will know what I mean). Nor have I become any keener on lumpy custard, peanut butter or coconut-flavoured chocolates, all of which still make me gag.
Since I turned about 60, however, I've come to adore 肝臓 ? calf's 肝臓, for preference ? and I order it whenever I see it on 申し込む／申し出 in a restaurant. That's because Mrs U now finds the feel of it so disgusting that she has stopped cooking it at home.
Nor will she cook 腎臓s any more. Though I've recently grown to love them, she tells me she can't 耐える to have them in her kitchen because they smell so 堅固に of their bodily 機能（する）／行事. So much for women becoming いっそう少なく 傾向がある to disgust as they age.
Nor have I noticed my wife becoming any more tolerant of my さまざまな shortcomings, from my 時折の involuntary 放出／発行s of gastric gases to the 明言する／公表する in which I leave the bathroom 沈む after shaving and 小衝突ing my teeth. If anything, she's more 極度の慎重さを要する to such things than ever before.
The gas mask 証明するd a lifesaver (though not in the way for which it was designed) and I would wear it whenever it fell to me to do the honours for my third son (在庫／株)
But while より小数の things make me 肉体的に gag as I grow older, I have to 収容する／認める that I've become かなり grumpier as the years have gone by. Indeed, I find myself harrumphing over all manner of minor annoyances that I would hardly have noticed in my younger days.
There's no room here to 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） all the 面s of modern life that irritate me, but here are just a few.
One is Rachel Reeves's 恐ろしい 発言する／表明する, and the way she calls my beloved country 'the イチイ-Kye'.
Then there's that maddeningly smug 宣伝 for BBC News, featuring Clive Myrie solemnly 保証するing us that all the staff work for us 24 hours a day and 'the fight for truth is on'.
A third is the way that so many of my fellow countrymen pronounce kilometre the American way ('kill-om-メーター'), with the 強調する／ストレス on the second syllable instead of the first.
Then there are those reporters on every channel who seem unable to しっかり掴む the simple 支配する of grammar that singular 支配するs take singular verbs. One example from News At Ten: 'It's not yet （疑いを）晴らす what the 結果 of these 会談 have been.'
一方／合間, why do so many say, 'Goodnight from the team and I', when what they mean is, 'Goodnight from the team and me'?
But here am I, running out of space before I've even got 一連の会議、交渉／完成する to について言及するing my wife's pet hates, which seem to grow more 非常に／多数の every week. You'll have to make do with just a couple.
One is the 現在の 宣伝 for Pandora 従犯者s, featuring a sickly-甘い little girl lisping: 'My mum loves me 'cos she's always kissing me…happy muvver's day, Mum.'
Another is her 動きやすい phone, which she 悪口を言う／悪態s ten times a day, because she has never worked out how to use it 適切に. Indeed, she is the only person I've met who is いっそう少なく technologically competent than me.
Ah 井戸／弁護士席, as we 始める，決める off together into the autumn of our lives, spluttering and harrumphing about anything and everything, at least she has one なぐさみ: if I'm ever called upon to change a grandchild's nappy, I reckon that these days I could manage it without retching.
But I might dig that gas mask out of the loft, just in 事例／患者.
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