My summer in Paris with a string of much younger lovers

I was 餓死するd of touch and desperate for 関係... so I moved to Paris. This is the racy, no-持つ／拘留するs 閉めだした account of my summer with a string of much younger lovers - and the lessons I learned about sex

By GLYNNIS MACNICOL

Published: 01:04 BST, 27 June 2025 | Updated: 01:04 BST, 27 June 2025

A sunny Sunday in a park in Paris, where I have been for over two weeks. 総計費 the sky is blue, the light filtering through the trees is golden and on my phone are messages I have 交流d with a man whose 指名する and 直面する I do not know.

We matched on a French dating app, where his profile has no photo, just a silhouette and his age: 49, three years older than me.

After we match, he すぐに messages to tell me he is open-minded, 6 ft 1 in and fit. He tells me about the hourly hotels in Paris, accessible 経由で an app I’ve never heard of, which make rooms 利用できる during the afternoon between guest check-out and check?in.

There are messages from other men 簡単に wanting me to come over. To arrive without any underwear on. To be waiting naked on my bed, the 前線 door left 打ち明けるd.

‘What if we aren’t attracted to one another?’ I say to these bolder requests. ‘There’s always that chance,’ one tells me, with a very French shrug I can almost feel through the 審査する.

‘Silhouette’, as I called this faceless man, was one of the first Frenchmen I 遭遇（する）d in what was a most erotic summer, a profoundly enjoyable time which left me feeling perhaps my most sexually 確信して ever. Now, I move through my life knowing that what I want is 利用できる to me whenever and however I want it; I need only articulate what I’m looking for.

I had come to Paris in August 2021 to visit friends after 耐えるing 14 months of Covid 制限s alone in my New York apartment. Everyone was feral for 関係. I had been 選び出す／独身 for a long time before Covid 攻撃する，衝突する, so the sheer loneliness of lockdown left me with a 深遠な hunger, a 深い願望（する） to be の近くに to another person.

At one point, I felt so 餓死するd of touch I 除去するd vintage fur coats from my closet and placed them across my bed or couch so I could 嘘（をつく） across them, like Burt Reynolds as the Cosmopolitan centrefold, just to feel the sensation of another ‘creature’ on my 肌. I’d forgotten what it was like to have my needs looked after. By anyone.

Glynnis MacNicol 現れるd from lockdown feeling profoundly lonely and with a 深い願望（する） to be の近くに to another person??

There were many lessons I learned from the men I met in Paris that summer, one of the most pleasant 存在 that they see giving a woman an orgasm as a 優先. As my English friend Ellie, also dating in フラン, explained to me: ‘The French take 女性（の）楽しみ本気で. It makes them feel like men.’

As one 早期に online dating match put it: ‘I’d like to help you enjoy yourself.’ To which I replied: ‘Wonderful, how so?’

‘I’d like to give you 楽しみ.’

‘What will you do, do you think?’ I then asked, before putting my phone 負かす／撃墜する, unable to attach myself to the audacity of 存在 so direct.

But then the 返答s （機の）カム注ぐing in ? and I 設立する I liked it.

‘If you come to my home? I think I will kiss you and put my 手渡す under your skirt. If you are agreed of course.’

‘What else?’ I type 支援する, surprised at my ability to 需要・要求する more. ‘After, it depends on your 願望（する）s: do you want to be blindfolded?� �

I 設立する these missives 控訴，上告ing. Some element of 同意 wove its way through nearly every man’s message I received. Descriptions were almost always followed by the question: ‘Would I enjoy that?’

Also, there was the 激しい楽しみ of asking someone not just to put thought into me, but go the extra distance to articulate it. Literally 令状 it 負かす／撃墜する, step by step.

So 影響する／感情d was I by conversations like these that, 結局, my tagline on the dating app I used became ‘mostly here to enjoy myself’.

And, let me tell you, I certainly did. When I first arrived in Paris, I discovered from 女性（の） friends that the dating app of choice that summer was not Tinder, but the ludicrously 肩書を与えるd Fruitz.

Divided into four fruit 部類s, you have to select the one you most identified with. Cherry is ‘to find your other half’. Grape ‘for a glass of ワイン with no trouble’. Watermelon is ‘no seeds 大（公）使館員d’ ? meaning no strings 大（公）使館員d. Peach is ‘to 会合，会う people who are looking for the same 肉親，親類d of 関係 you are’.

‘That’s straight hook-up,’ Ellie tells me. ‘It’s all straight hook-up, but the messages are more explicit if you’re a peach.’

I decide I’m a watermelon, 登録（する） under my real age ? and say I am open to an age 範囲 between 28 and 58. As I was still typing these 詳細（に述べる）s, my phone buzzed. It took me a minute to 人物／姿／数字 out why. Ah, my first message from someone on Fruitz. That was 急速な／放蕩な.

The first thing to catch my 注目する，もくろむ is the word ‘masseur’. I’m 自信のない what the 残り／休憩（する） says ? the only other words I see are ‘tr?s gentil’. They translate in my 長，率いる as gentle 一打／打撃ing, which is 訂正する in the spirit of things, if not the letter of translation.

I look at the photos ? there is a feather, a velvet glo ve. Seemingly, whatever is 存在申し込む／申し出d will 伴う／関わる a lot of touching. From that moment on, the messages just keep coming. And with them, ever more 性の発覚s. Some say things like this message I get from a 26-year-old: ‘If you want 楽しみ with a good boy, I’m here.’

I find what I relish most about some of these 遭遇（する）s is the 楽しみ I take from 観察するing others enjoying my 団体／死体, 令状s Glynnis

It’s （疑いを）晴らす I am most definitely not in New York any more. Most 顕著に because Frenchmen mean what they say. And they tend to say it すぐに, and 断固としてやる.

Usually, this is an utterly foreign 概念 for any New Yorker or Englishwoman when it comes to dating.

We would assume men don’t mean a 選び出す／独身 thing they say, and never say what they mean. Frenchmen, in my experience, are all-in almost すぐに. (It’s this male French persistence that often gets American and English women in trouble. They mistake the immediacy for longevity ? only to find out all too soon that their 広大な／多数の／重要な love has discovered another 広大な／多数の／重要な love.) Under such a wonderful 性の砲撃, I started to feel my 団体／死体 was even more alive.

Every morning I took a にわか雨, and then slathered cream over every インチ of me, followed by fragrant oils and then more oils.

I became aware of the sensation of 空気／公表する on the 支援するs of my 膝s, my belly, even the 肌 between my toes. The 期待 of others seeing my 団体／死体 led me to see it もう一度. To enjoy it もう一度.

One night, my friends and I 結局最後にはーなる at a party by the Seine. We drink, and I dance with a beautiful 30-year-old, kissing him passionately before we 交流 numbers. When I get home, dizzy with ワイン, I decide I should message my dance partner. I open WhatsApp and type: ‘Come over?’ The 返答 is 即座の. ‘O? es-tu?’

I send the 演説（する）／住所 before my brain has a chance to re-現れる. I know what I want.

‘En 大勝する. Dix minutes.’

‘Bien,’ I type, enjoying the sensation of 存在手配中の，お尋ね者すぐに. But then I worry. Should I be 関心d? Get under the covers first? Try to angle myself so the fact that one breast points in the wrong direction thanks to last year’s 生体検査 (that thankfully turned out to be benign) is いっそう少なく noticeable? So that the dimples 負かす／撃墜する the 支援するs of my thighs can only be felt instead of seen?

But when he is in my room, 非，不，無 of this 事柄s. I look up to see him 星／主役にするing at me and I catch that look on his 直面する, the 肉親，親類d of look we are told is reserved only for those who have 適用するd the toners and 直面する serums in the 訂正する order. 解除するd the 権利量 of 負わせるs. Done enough cardio. 除外するd the 権利量 of sugar or fats or meats. Remained young.

What I see is the look of a man gazing upon a naked 女性（の）団体／死体 they have been 招待するd to partake of. A mix of lust, excitement, 感謝 and 救済. He steps 支援する for a moment, dropping my bra on to the couch and 除去するing his shirt. He takes another long look at me. Ah, the enjoyment of 存在 enjoyed. ‘Amazing,’ he says with a grin before coming closer. And I think, ‘Yes. You are fortunate my 着せる／賦与するs are off. It is amazing.’

All I want is more 肌, more everything. And for the next five hours that is 正確に／まさに what I get.

After this 遭遇（する）, the switch has been flipped, as though I am co nstructed of a million tiny bulbs. One evening, not long after my night of dancing, when I have no other 計画（する）s, I message one of my first matches, the one who had 示唆するd I could be blindfolded. Would he come over? Twenty minutes later he tells me he will be there in half an hour.

‘Is this your first time doing this sort of thing?’ he asks when he arrives.

By ‘this sort of thing’ I assume he means 召喚するing a stranger to my home for the very 明確な／細部, one-味方するd experience of my 楽しみ. I shrug. ‘Perhaps?’

He smiles. ‘Why don’t you take your 着せる／賦与するs off?’ I do. My enjoyment is the 優先, not his. It is 広大な／多数の／重要な ? and so strange. My hunger is satiated. Twice.

From here I move on ? there is an unabashedly energetic 27-year-old Italian with flowing hair and 耐えるd who is about to leave Paris but wants to re-大勝する his trip to the airport to come to see me. It’s noon. His flight is in five hours. I tell him to come over.

He arrives and I can tell part of the thrill of me to him is his own 乗り気 to 危険 coming here.

I know why JoJo Siwa felt 圧力d into calling her self a lesbian before dating Chris Hughes

He begins whispering in what I assume is Italian, but really does not need translation. The me, now naked, that 現れるs in the 直面する of all this energy and excitement is 静める. 確信して. I hear myself say what I want without having to think about how to articulate it. No 手渡す-持つ／拘留するing. This, I imagine, is what is attractive.

I consider how, when I was his age, my sense of 楽しみ was 完全に centred on making sure the other person experienced it. I did not know what I liked. How could I have? What do young women do now, with so much more knowledge 利用できる to them about how 団体／死体s work and what women like better? Do they （権力などを）行使する it or are they destroyed by it?

I find what I relish most about some of these 遭遇（する）s is the 楽しみ I take from 観察するing others enjoying my 団体／死体. No one has told me that, in my 中央の-40s, this 肉親，親類d of gratification would be such an easily accessible enjoyment, and that my 団体／死体 should be enjoyed.

After I 述べる another 遭遇（する） to a new 知識, she says: ‘They are only 利益／興味d because they know you don’t want to get married and are too old to have children.’

She says this in a way that is ーするつもりであるd as a 揺さぶる of 保護の reality in this mildly hedonistic 小旅行する I have 始める，決める myself on. She is trying to be a good friend.

‘正確に／まさに!’ I clap my 手渡すs together to 強調. ‘This is 正確に the entire point. I don’t want those things either.’

Indeed, after the summer ended and I retur ned to New York, I （機の）カム to realise my 性の escapades weren’t just about the mechanical 楽しみ of two 団体／死体s coming together. The 楽しみ I have taken from the memory, a 楽しみ that 増加するs instead of fading away, is what comes from the knowledge that I 召喚するd what I 手配中の，お尋ね者, and it （機の）カム.

It is the 楽しみ of 存在 powerful, mind and 団体／死体. And to have that 力／強力にする現れる while in a position, literally, of almost 完全にする vulnerability. It was a truly beautiful thing.

Adapted from I’m Mostly Here To Enjoy Myself by Glynnis MacNicol (Leap, ￡10.99), to be published July 3. ? Glynnis MacNicol 2025. To order a copy for ￡9.89 (申し込む／申し出 valid until July 10; UK P&P 解放する／自由な on orders over ￡25), go to mailshop.co.uk/調書をとる／予約するs or call 020 3176 2937.