Your problems answered
He’ll have sex with me but won’t date me
I am in love with a man I met through a dating website. He is good looking, dresses beautifully and has his own flat in a gated community. He tells me he is not ‘関係 構成要素’, but once, when I left before he woke up, he emailed 説 how disappointed he was to find me gone. He doesn’t take me out and I don’t get to 会合，会う his friends and family. But he wants me to come over to talk and have sex. Several 週末s ago, when I was 予定 to go over, he texted me to say that a friend’s sister was staying with him as a lodger so we would need to ‘keep it 負かす／撃墜する’. Then after an 交流 of texts he said he’d feel ぎこちない if I （機の）カム over, so I decided not to go. A few days later, he emailed to say I had got it all wrong and we have continued to see each other. I feel 拒絶するd and unloved. I know I should move on but I am finding this hard to を取り引きする.
Do you really want to continue to let this man use you as a 売春婦, except that you come 解放する／自由な? You don’t 現実に date, he never takes you out, and you are not really a couple. He shows you no 尊敬（する）・点 and he thinks so little of the 関係 that he doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family. I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う that his friend’s sister (if that is what she was) was not 正確に／まさに the lodger, but someone else he was enjoying sex with. The fact that you have 許すd him to 扱う／治療する you so 不正に 示唆するs you have low self-esteem and this may not be the first time men have
扱う／治療するd you 不正に. So end it, he is not 価値（がある） it. For その上の help 接触する Relate (tel: 0300 100 1234, relate.org.uk).
Dad’s death has 攻撃する，衝突する mum hard
I think my mum may be 苦しむing from 不景気. She is fed up with everything and becoming ますます 消極的な, yet she is 気が進まない to see her doctor. My dad died last year after a debilitating illness. He was in a care home for the last ten years of his life. I am 22, still living at home and I have a good 関係 with my mum. I feel 責任がある her. I just want to see her 支援する to her happy self again. Is there anything I can do?
Your mother lost her husband, which is very hard, but you say nothing about yourself. You have had to 対処する with the death of your father and the fact that he was 厳しく ill throughout your teens, which must have been difficult. I am 関心d about you, too. Perhaps you had to grow up too quickly because you were trying to support your mother. You cannot be 責任がある her. So tell her how much you love her and ask her to get help. She could 接触する the bereavement charity Cruse (tel: 0844 477 9400, crusebereavementcare.org.uk). Its trained volunteers also 供給する 直面する-to-直面する support. Please talk to Cruse, too, for more support. Could another family member also encourage your mother to see her GP about 不景気?
My 負わせる is a turn-off for her
I overheard my wife on the phone 説 she didn’t want sex with me as I am overweight and drink. I have put on a lot of 負わせる over th
e years. Do I tell her I heard her? She will probably 告発する／非難する me of eavesdropping. My wife keeps fit, but when I have been at work all day I can’t be bothered.
It sounds as if you can’t be bothered with your marriage either. Don’t you care if your wife no longer finds you attractive? Don’t you mind that she no longer wants to make love? Do you want your sex life to end? If you are drinking too much, apart from 損失ing your health, it can also mean that sex is over far too quickly, which may be 与える／捧げるing to your wife’s 欠如（する） of 利益／興味. You don’t need to say anything to her. Instead start to eat sensibly, 削減（する） 負かす／撃墜する on the drinking and go to the gym three times a week. Perhaps you were meant to overhear her （民事の）告訴. Read The 15 Minute 支配する ? How to Stop Procrastinating and Take 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 of Your Life by Caroline Buchanan (権利 Way, £7.99). To order a copy for £7.49 with 解放する／自由な p&p, 接触する the you bookshop on 0843 382 1111, you-bookshop.co.uk
接触する Zelda
If you have a problem, 令状 to Zelda West-Meads at: YOU, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TS, or email z.west-meads@you.co.uk
Zelda reads all your letters but 悔いるs that she cannot answer them all 本人自身で
関係 clinic
To have and to 持つ／拘留する off: かかわり合い-phobic men
The ex-factor: Simon Cowell with former fianc?e Mezhgan Hussainy
Pity poor Simon Cowell’s now ex-girlfriend Mezhgan Hussainy. After a whirlwind romance, the pair became engaged two years ago, but when asked last autumn by DJ Howard 厳しい if he was still engaged, Cowell replied, ‘I’m not sure.’ They separated すぐに afterwards. He 報道によれば 計画（する）s to give her his £5 million Beverly Hills home as a parting gift.
Cowell is a typical example of the 井戸／弁護士席-known 種類, the かかわり合い-phobic man. Other 著名な examples 含む George Clooney and Hugh 認める. They have all 時代遅れの some of the world’s most beautiful women, but they still can’t settle for just one. Hugh 認める’s famous exes 含む Elizabeth Hurley and Jemima 旅宿泊所, neither of whom 後継するd in getting him to the altar. And even though his 簡潔な／要約する fling with Tinglan Hong resulted in a daughter, 認める, 51, had moved on to pastures new before she was even born.
George Clooney was 簡潔に married in his late 20s (to actress Talia Balsam), but has 宣言するd that he will never get married again, nor have children. He is now dating former レスラー Stacy Keibler, but I 恐れる Stacy will be disappointed if she thinks she can 格闘する him 負かす／撃墜する the aisle.
At the beginning of a 関係, a かかわり合い-phobic man appears やめる the opposite. He is frequently good-looking, charismatic and 確信して with women, and has a string of short-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 関係s behind him. He sweeps you off your feet, makes you feel 望ましい and app
ears madly in love. Then, just when you start 推定する／予想するing more from the 関係, he panics and backtracks, leaving you 全く 混乱させるd. He has realised that something more is 推定する／予想するd of him and he is not ready for that. Hence Simon Cowell’s 明らかな amnesia about his 約束／交戦!
Another 警告 調印する of a かかわり合い-phobic man is that he 破壊行為s the 関係 by having a one-night stand or getting 伴う／関わるd with another woman. So if you recognise these traits in your man, it is better to see the 関係 as fun and exciting, but don’t make any long-条件 計画（する）s.
