Elizabeth Day: I can't help it... I have to 勝利，勝つ
About seven years ago I took up yoga. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a smug yoga column, where I make anyone who hasn’t ever done a downward dog feel a 失敗 ーに関して／ーの点でs of both 柔軟性 and spiritual enlightenment. 耐える with me.
Styling: Holly Elgeti. Make-up: Nicky Weir using Hourglass Beauty. Hair: Alex Szabo at Carol Hayes using T3 Haircare. Dress, Temperley London. Earrings, Motley x Scott Wilson. （犯罪の）一味s, Daisy Jewellery, 巡礼者
The 推論する／理由 I started yoga was because I was going through IVF and it was one of the things that people recommended as a means of 緩和. Any time you’re in the unremittingly stressful 状況／情勢 of trying for a baby, you will be told to 避ける 強調する／ストレス. For me, that seemed impossible, so I decided to outsource my 緩和 to other people.?
I 設立する a 私的な yoga 指導者. Not because I had notions, but because I hated the thought of 存在 a total beginner and embarrassing myself in a class 十分な of lithe, bendy women. After a few 開会／開廷／会期s, I started to feel I could 勇敢に立ち向かう a group setting. So began one of the most committed, reliable, 相互の 関係s of my life.
Yoga has never failed me. It has seen me through 多重の house moves, romanti c break-ups and 職業 changes. I can now easily touch my toes and no longer feel as though sitting cross-legged for more than 30 seconds is an 強襲，強姦 on my 骸骨／概要.
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Along the way, I have learnt that yoga is meant to be an 演習 in self-受託. It is not a 競争の激しい sport.
My problem is that I’m innately 競争の激しい. 非難する it on 存在 the younger sister and the years of failing to 勝利，勝つ at any card game we played. 非難する it on my schooldays and the ceaseless 追求（する），探索（する） to be good at exams. Hell, 非難する it on the boogie if you must. I don’t know why I’m so 競争の激しい but I am.
When my husband and I 投資するd in a Peloton 演習 bike, I slipped into a slough of despond because he was getting bigger 生産（高） numbers than I was after each on-需要・要求する class. He had to sit me 負かす／撃墜する and draw me graphs explaining why, given his higher muscle 集まり, it was almost 保証（人）d that this would be the 事例／患者.
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‘It’s not a 競争,’ he said. I nodded, while silently thinking, ‘Everything is a 競争, mate. Everything.’
I have the same mindset when it comes to yoga. I shouldn’t, but I do.
Over the past couple of Sundays, I’ve taken a new class at my 地元の studio. The 指導者 looks as though she is playing the part of a yoga 指導者 in a Hollywood movie. Her arm muscles are a thing of wonder.
The first time I went, I sweated so much the 床に打ち倒す around me became a slip hazard. Still, I managed to do most things she asked of us.
The second class seemed harder. I failed to 遂行する／発効させる several 提起する／ポーズをとるs while the man in 前線 of me flowed into improbable 形態／調整s with the grace of a ballerina. At one point, he did a flawless forearm stand and the other class members spontaneously 拍手喝采する him.
‘Whatever,’ I thought, as I 低迷d inelegantly to the mat. But my insides felt corroded by envy. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be better than him. My 競争の激しい self felt humiliated. I limped to the end of the 75 minutes, at which point the 指導者 introduced the man as her friend, who was himself a yoga teacher.
My mood transformed. He was a professional! He was in a different league altogether, I told myself as I rolled up my mat, I couldn’t compete with that! My dignity had been 海難救助d. I left feeling 十分な of 楽観主義, 安心させるd that I had done my best and that my best was good enough.
Admittedly, it’s not a 抱擁する leap に向かって spiritual enlightenment. But if yoga is a 旅行 of self-受託, then perhaps I have to 受託する my competitiveness, too? That, and the fact I’ll probably never do such a beautiful forearm stand.?
?This week I'm...
Sleeping In （土地などの）細長い一片 & 星／主役にする x Happy Place pyjamas. Unbelievably comfortable and flattering. Reading 議会, Natasha Brown’s debut novel and stunningly good it is, too. Wearing this Aaliyah blouse by Rixo. Its ditsy print and frilled 深い-V 前線 look 広大な／多数の／重要な with ジーンズs.
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