DEAR JANE: My best friend wants me to 支払う／賃金 $7,000 for her bachelorette party - she 需要・要求するd I take out a 貸付金 when I said I couldn't afford it

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Dear Jane,

My best friend of 14 years is getting married next year and is planning what can only be 述べるd as the most over-the-最高の，を越す (and expensive!) 儀式 you can imagine.?

I have to 収容する／認める I’ve been a bit taken aback by some of the 計画（する）s ? the woman is talking about renting live swans! ? but I’ve done my best to support her through it all as her Maid of 栄誉（を受ける）, while also stepping in to be a 発言する／表明する of 推論する／理由 where possible.

But when we sat 負かす／撃墜する to start planning her bachelorette party, every bit of 推論する／理由 went out the window.?

She first 主張するd that we do a trip somewhere hot, so I started 研究ing places in the US that might work and （機の）カム up with what I thought was a 広大な／多数の／重要な 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of suggestions.?

But no, she said the trip had to be outside of the US because she 手配中の，お尋ね者 a ‘real vacation’ and felt like her bridesmaids and best friends deserved to get away, too.

She then told me that she’d 雇うd a professional bachelorette party planner ? for $10,000 I might 追加する ? because she 手配中の，お尋ね者 all of the 詳細（に述べる）s to be perfect and didn’t want to ‘重荷（を負わせる）’ me with it.?

Dear Jane, my best friend is 需要・要求するing that I 支払う／賃金 $7,000 for her bachelorette party - and told me I should take out a 貸付金 when I said I couldn't afford the trip

That stung a little bit, but I 人物／姿／数字d it would take the 圧力 off me and 許す me to relax and just enjoy the experience. I just sat 支援する and waited for the email to come through from the planner with the 詳細（に述べる）s, which it did this week.

明らかに, the bride decided on a six-day first class trip to Italy, where she wants to stay in two five-星／主役にする hotels, with the whole thing totalling $7,000 per person. SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. I almost 黒人／ボイコットd out when I saw that number.?

Then that shock gave way to panic as I frantically tried to do the math in my 長，率いる and 人物／姿／数字 out a way that I might be able to afford it.

最終的に though, I realized that no 事柄 how mu ch I scrimp and save, it’s just not possible for me to spend that 肉親，親類d of money. So I told her that, as much as it breaks my heart, I can’t join her on the trip.?

International best-selling author Jane Green 申し込む／申し出s 下落する advice on DailyMail.com readers' most 燃やすing 問題／発行するs in her Dear Jane agony aunt column

Rather than show some sympathy or even sadness, she just shrugged off my explanation and told me to take out a 貸付金. She said it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event for her, that she needs me there, and that if I really cared about her I’d find a way. As though taking out a 貸付金 is the easiest thing in the world?

She then told me that if I wasn’t willing to ‘just get a 貸付金 and make the trip happen’, she’d have to choose someone else to be her Maid of 栄誉（を受ける）.

It seems to me like the hoopla surrounding the wedding has gone 全く to her 長，率いる and turned her into a bit of a bridezilla ? this woman is not the best friend I’ve grown up with.

Any advice on how I can bring her 支援する to Earth?

From,

Maid of Dishonor

Dear Maid of Dishonor,

My favorite part of this letter is when your best friend so kindly thought of her bridesmaids and best friends as deserving a break, then 推定する／予想するs them to 支払う／賃金 for it. I believe this is the 鮮明度／定義 of 神経.

I don’t know what 肉親，親類d of circles your best friend is mixing in, but 推定する／予想するing anyone to 支払う／賃金 $7,000 for the 特権 of a vacation that isn’t even of their choosing, does seem to take the cake.?

And her 無（不）能 to understand that not everyone can afford that, going on to 需要・要求する that you take out a 貸付金, makes me wonder whether she is really the 肉親，親類d of woman you want as a best friend?

We collect friends throughout our lives, many of whom become best friends, few of whom last the duration. There is an 開始 line of a poem by Brian A. 'Drew' Chalker which starts: 'People come into your life for a 推論する／理由, a season, or a lifetime.'

試みる／企てるing to emotionally ゆすり，恐喝 your best friend into doing something they have already said they are unable to do, does not seem like the 活動／戦闘s of a lifetime best friend.?

A lifetime best friend would show compassion and perhaps then 緩和する the 重荷（を負わせる） on everyone by changing the event to something smaller, and far いっそう少なく expensive.

推定する／予想するing you to 支払う／賃金 $7,000 to be her Maid of 栄誉（を受ける） is too 法外な a price to 支払う／賃金. I’m sorry your best friend is tu rning into the bridezilla from hell, but your 職業 is to look after you, not her, にもかかわらず what she thinks, and under no circumstances should you be even thinking of taking out a 貸付金.

The 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の thing about weddings is to look 支援する at the wedding pictures ten years on. Often, people find that they have lost touch with a 抱擁する 百分率 of their guests, people they thought would be in their lives forever.

I imagine this may very 井戸／弁護士席 be the 事例／患者 with your best friend. Either way, I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う you will be dodging a 弾丸 by not …に出席するing the bachelorette party.