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My wife is giving away our children's ￡100,000 相続物件?to romance scammers... and there's nothing I can do to stop her

Updated: 07:24 BST, 14 February 2024

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For the first 51 years of marriage, Joe Wilkinson and his wife Emily 株d everything.?

The couple, now 79 and 83, have worked hard as small 商売／仕事 owners to afford a comfortable life in the Midlands for their family.?

And, over time, they have built a generous 相続物件（ーのために）とっておくd for their children and grandchildren.

But their carefully laid 計画（する）s began to 崩壊する in 2017. Joe discovered his wife had struck up a secret 関係 with a man she met on Facebook ― and was 手渡すing over large sums of money.?

Since then, he says Emily has been 誘惑するd into a string of online 関係s.

Growing problem: An 概算の￡4.3m has already been lost to romance scams this year, によれば banking 貿易（する）団体／死体 UK 財政／金融

Joe, who asked for his 指名する to be changed, 見積（る）s his wife has now sent these ‘men’ ￡100,000 ― by （警察の）手入れ，急襲ing their 共同の貯金 accounts, taking ou t 貸付金s and even selling their Mercedes and pawning her jewellery. Yet she has never met any of them in person.

And にもかかわらず Joe and their children’s best 成果／努力s, he says nothing can 納得させる Emily she is the 犠牲者 of romance 詐欺 ― and she’s still giving away money.?

Heartbroken, but 充てるd, Joe 辞退するs to give up and approached Money Mail in a desperate 試みる／企てる to expose the scammers.

Romance scams are a growing 天罰（を下す） ― 報告（する）／憶測s have jumped by a fifth in the past year, によれば Lloyds Bank.?

An 概算の￡4.3 million has already been lost to romance 詐欺 this year, によれば banking 貿易（する）団体／死体 UK 財政／金融.?

Police and the 国家の罪，犯罪機関推定する／予想する to see a spike in the number of romance scams 報告（する）／憶測d に引き続いて Valentine’s Day, when people are most susceptible.

Scammers typically 始める，決める up 偽の profiles on social マスコミ to message their 犠牲者s and entice them into a 関係.?

They begin messaging on Facebook, Instagram or on an online dating 場所／位置, but will try to get them to start speaking on a more 私的な壇・綱領・公約 such as WhatsApp or text.

Once 信用 has been 設立するd, the 犯罪の will usually （人命などを）奪う，主張する to be experiencing a problem, such as an 問題／発行する with a ビザ, health problems or 計画（する） tickets and ask for money to help. They may also （人命などを）奪う，主張する to be doing charity or overseas work.

In Emily’s 事例／患者, Joe says the scammers have 提起する／ポーズをとるd as American 兵士s who have been 地位，任命するd abroad and are looking for love.

The trouble started when Emily received a tablet as a gift in 2017, so she could stay up to date with the news. Soon after, she created a Facebook account and then the romance scams started, says Joe.

策略:?Scammers typically 始める，決める up 偽の profiles on social マスコミ to message their 犠牲者s and entice them into a 関係

‘She received messages from young Army men who were 説 nice things to her. Ever since, she has taken the tablet everywhere and is messaging them on Facebook or WhatsApp,’ he says.

When Joe noticed that money was 存在 transferred out of their 共同の accounts, he became 怪しげな. He and their children had the passcode for the tablet so were able to read the messages.?

This is how they discovered Emily was caught up in a string of romantic 関係s with people who were 明確に scammers, he says.

The most 目だつ used a 軍の persona and （人命などを）奪う，主張するd to be 地位，任命するd on a faraway base, によれば Joe.?

The young men sent Emily pictures of themselves in uniform and, after days of talking, would （人命などを）奪う，主張する to need money.

This is one of the most popular cover stories の中で romance scammers, who also often 提起する／ポーズをとる as overseas doctors, successful businessmen and famous people.?

They will then come up with a 推論する／理由 for asking for money ― for example, they may （人命などを）奪う，主張する their child needs 緊急の医療の care that they can’t 支払う／賃金 for, or that they need money to buy a flight to visit the UK.

‘She seems to think they are coming to take her away to a better life,’ says Joe. ‘It has been so difficult to watch and you wonder why she is doing this. She keeps it all secret, but you know it’s going on.’

On one occasion, Joe says he 設立する out that Emily had arranged for a friend to give her a 解除する to the 地元の airport, where she planned to 会合，会う one of her lovers. However, the scammer never showed up.

Joe says he has tried to 直面する her on several occasions, but has never been able to break the （一定の）期間.?

‘We did 絶対 everything to 納得させる her that these were scams, telling her the people were not real, but all to no avail. She just doesn’t seem to see it, and she carries on in her own 甘い way.’

Anna 列／漕ぐ／騒動, 創立者 of romance scam （選挙などの）運動をする group LoveSaid and 教育の website Catch The Catfish, says it’s important for friends and family to understand the 激しい巧みな操作 that 犠牲者s have been through.

‘There is a very （疑いを）晴らす pattern of 巧みな操作 that every 犠牲者 goes through: there is a grooming 過程 and then a period of what we call “love 爆破” follows.’

Ms 列／漕ぐ／騒動, who was herself the 犠牲者 of a romance scam, says: ‘They begin by finding out about you and 製図／抽選 out （警察などへの）密告，告訴（状） they can use later on.

‘In my 事例／患者, he 申し込む／申し出d up things that had happened in his past and what had gone wrong in 関係s to make me feel comfortable doing the same.?

'That enabled him to groom me その上の and 安全な・保証する his standing as he pretended to be everything I was looking for.’

Then comes the love 爆破, which is where they make sure they are in your thoughts 絶えず and telling you how special you are, Ms 列／漕ぐ／騒動 says.?

‘It’s not unusual for them to be possessive, asking where you are and what you are doing to make you feel they care and want to be with you.’

Joe watched this pattern 広げる in his wife’s social マスコミ inboxes, followed by relentless requests for cash.?

‘They started by asking her to make bank 移転s and then moved on to getting her to send the money by depositing into a Bitcoin account. Now they ask for giftcards,’ he says.

At first, Joe says he was able to see when Emily planned to send money and 警告する her bank ahead of time so they could be 封鎖するd. However, her bank failed to do this and the money continued to go through to foreign bank accounts.

‘My children and I tried to stop it. We spoke to lawyers, doctors ― to 査定する／（税金などを）課す her mental soundness ― we went to her bank, Facebook to 報告（する）／憶測 the 偽の profiles, the police, 活動／戦闘詐欺 . . . you 指名する it we tried. No one helped.

‘The bank always （機の）カム支援する with: “If your wife is of sound mind, and it is her money, then she can do as she likes.” ’

In the 合間, Emily was selling off 投資s and taking out bank 貸付金s. ‘The bank even 許すd my wife to take out 貸付金s at the age of 79, when Emily’s total income was just her 月毎の明言する／公表する年金 of ￡800. How on earth has someone with little income been given ￡5,000 貸付金s? I thought the banks had not 保護するd her and decided to fight 支援する.’

Joe 接触するd the Banking Ombudsman and, 18 months later, was told to 令状 to his bank with 証拠 that Emily had made the 支払い（額）s to scammers, にもかかわらず his 警告s.

‘Bingo,’ he says. ‘They agreed that they had not dealt with my （民事の）告訴s 適切に and to refund some ￡40,000 dating 支援する to 2017, which was a large part of the ￡60,000 we 概算の to have changed 手渡すs at that point.’

However, the ￡40,000 was sent 直接／まっすぐに to Emily’s bank account and, にもかかわらず a discussion with her about the 危険 of scammers, the 83-year-old has continued to send money to her 偽の online lovers.

Money Mail has seen screenshots of the messages between Emily and the scammers 得るd by her husband, 同様に as his correspondence with the 財政上の Ombudsman Service and bank 声明s showing 支払い（額）s that Emily has made to foreign bank accounts.?

‘I 疑問 very much that she has any of it left. The scammers know she is a soft-touch, a 攻撃を受けやすい person,’ Joe says.

‘My wife has learnt nothing. She is still giving cash to scammers, which is now 存在 done 経由で gift cards from what I can gather.’

The 実業家 says he has taken 合法的な advice and they have rewritten their wills, putting 資産s, such as 所有物／資産／財産, into a 信用 to 保護（する）／緊急輸入制限 them from Emily.

‘I have a small 商売／仕事, we have a house and I have a 年金 of around ￡240,000, so there are やめる a lot of 基金s to worry about.’

Last year, 研究 by Santander 設立する that almost one in three people have been 的d by a romance scammer.?

People 老年の 55 to 64 are the most likely to be tricked by fraudsters 提起する／ポーズをとるing as love 利益／興味s, but those 老年の 65 to 74 were scammed out of the most money of all age groups, data from Lloyds 設立する.

Men are more likely to 落ちる for a romance scam, but only marginally, at 52 pc of 事例／患者s. However, women typically 手渡すd over more money ― losing an 普通の／平均（する） of ￡9,083 compared to men’s ￡5,145 普通の／平均（する） loss.?

Money Mail’s Stop The Social マスコミ Scammers （選挙などの）運動をする has called on tech companies to 保護する使用者s from fraudsters.

Ms 列／漕ぐ／騒動 says she speaks to 65 to 100 犠牲者s a week, and they 範囲 from a 16-year-old, who has been ゆすり，恐喝d over explicit photos after entering a 偽の関係, to 80-year-old married women.

‘You should never tell a loved one or friend who is a 犠牲者 that they are wrong, or call them stupid, naive or gullible.

‘It� �s far more コンビナート／複合体 than that, and they will have been through a 抱擁する巧みな操作, a form of brainwashing.

‘It’s so delicate and people have to start understanding it themselves before anything can change. All you can do is 工場／植物 the seeds of 疑問 and they may start to unpick the reality that has been built around them,’ she says.

As for Joe, he says: ‘It’s upsetting watching your money 存在 given away by someone you love. I don’t see what we can do to stop it.’

Have you been 影響する／感情d by a romance scam? 接触する j.耐えるd@dailymail.co.uk

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