QUENTIN LETTS: Hokey Humza's chin crumpled like a discarded crisp packet as he やめる as First 大臣

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Tissues 加える a Blankety Blank chequebook and pen for Mr Yousaf, please. Scotland's First 大臣 やめる with a midday speech at Edinburgh's Bute House, his 公式の／役人 住居.

It went on a bit and things became weepy に向かって the end. He'd had a wonderful time and was 毅然とした he felt no ill-will to anyone. 'I certainly 耐える no grudge against anyone,' he 宣言するd, の直前に watering up with stinging salt 涙／ほころびs.

How refreshing it would be if a political leader 辞職するd with 'they're all a bunch of belly-はうing vipers and I'm glad to be 発射 of them'. This was not the 大勝する selected by hokey Humza. He did 11 minutes of ruefulness. Soupier than borscht it was. But if the 意向 was to earn sympathy it probably worked, because normal people are more generous than 新聞記者／雑誌記者s.

A noonday 死刑執行. It happened in the Georgian house's 製図／抽選 room. '身を引くing rooms', they used to be called and Mr Yousaf, 39, was 身を引くing from his 義務s. 'Afore ye go' is the Highlands 表現 when they 圧力（をかける） another ４半期/4分の1-pint of whisky in your 手渡す as you're trying to escape. Afore Humza went he gave this 11-minute speech. Any longer and Sky News would have been asking him to 会社にする／組み込む an 広告 break.

Tissues 加える a Blankety Blank chequebook and pen for Mr Yousaf, please. Scotland's First 大臣 やめる with a midday speech at Edinburgh's Bute House, his 公式の／役人 住居 (pictured)

It went on a bit and things became weepy に向かって the end. He'd had a wonderful time and was 毅然とした he felt no ill-will to anyone. 'I certainly 耐える no grudge against anyone,' he 宣言するd, の直前に watering up with stinging salt 涙／ほころびs

He did 11 minutes of ruefulness. Soupier than borscht it was. But if the 意向 was to earn sympathy it probably worked, because normal people are more generous than 新聞記者／雑誌記者s

For once he was not wearing a tartan tie. Behind him was a portrait of Robert 燃やすs (1759-96). The poet stood by the Brig o' Doon with his 武器 crossed in an 表現 that 示唆するd 'look, chum, is there much more of this?'

The TV news channels were in overdrive, running interviews with gobbling Scots politics pundits 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）ing さまざまな 非，不，無-（独立の）存在s who could 後継する the 倒れるd Yousaf. Alex Salmond popped up, trying not to gloat. He won't keep his 長，率いる still, Salmond. Nor would Nicola Sturgeon, who wobbled her bean like Ronald Reagan. Mr Yousaf was an inveterate darter and jinker, too. It just makes them 似ている fighting pheasants.

Mr Yousaf stood at a low lectern emblazoned with a protractor symbol. He 認める he had '明確に underestimated the level of 傷つける' felt by Green-party 同僚s he 解雇（する）d last week. Steaming they were, those Greens. Al dente!

Having given the 事柄 thought over the 週末, Mr Yousaf had decided to drink the hemlock. It would have been '絶対 possible' to 生き残る but he was 'not willing to 貿易（する） my values and 原則s or do 取引，協定s with whomsoever 簡単に for 保持するing 力／強力にする'. One possible translation for this was 'I couldn't 耐える 存在 bossed about by Alex Salmond and his eejits'.

Cue the violins, Mantovani. Mr Yousaf called Scotland 'the only country I will ever call home' and did a little riff about how 'people who looked like me' never used to 持つ／拘留する positions of 力／強力にする but now we had a 部隊d Kingdom where 少数，小数派s were in several 最高の，を越す 役割s. 'To my SNP family, I will always be with you,' said our 出発／死ing hero, like some Viking Jarl 存在 tugged out to his funeral longboat. Hang on, mate, you're only 39.

'Politics can be a 残虐な 商売／仕事, it takes its （死傷者）数 on your physical and mental health,' he continued as a man in a white coat 強化するd him into a straitjacket. The '設立するing fathers and mothers' of Scottish devolution believed in their 政治家，政治屋s '株ing 知恵, 株ing counsel, 株ing ideas', said Mr Yousaf. '株ing 知恵' is the sort of thing 政治家，政治屋s only say when their marbles have been 完全に fried by events.

The TV news channels were in overdrive, running interviews with gobbling Scots politics pundits 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）ing さまざまな 非，不，無-（独立の）存在s who could 後継する the 倒れるd Yousaf. Alex Salmond (pictured) popped up, trying not to gloat

Nicola Sturgeon (pictured)?wobbled her bean like Ronald Reagan. Mr Yousaf was an inveterate darter and jinker, too. It just makes them 似ている fighting pheasants

There was a final line about Scotland 存在 a 広大な／多数の／重要な country to lead before he and Mrs Yousaf (pictured) were shown out of the room like 長，指導者 会葬者s from their own wake

There was still time for him to look sideways to his 'wonderful wife' Nadia and his 'beautiful children'. The chin was now crumpling like a discarded crisp packet. There was a final line about Scotland 存在 a 広大な／多数の／重要な country to lead before he and Mrs Yousaf were shown out of the room like 長，指導者 会葬者s from their own wake.

The BBC's London-based political editor Chris Mason, who had flown to Edinburgh to ask a zinger, had to lug his rucksack out of the room, not a 選び出す／独身 question having been 許すd. 支援する to the airport for you, Mason.