Former nurse who got （麻薬）常用者d to ヘロイン and meth WHILE working in a hospital opens up about how his 麻薬 乱用 blew apart his 医療の career - and saw him spiral into shocking 降下／家系 that ended in PRISON

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A former nurse who got （麻薬）常用者d to ヘロイン and meth while working in a hospital has opened up about how his 麻薬 乱用 blew apart his 医療の career - and saw him spiral into shocking 降下／家系 that ended with him 存在 sent to 刑務所，拘置所.

The ex 外傷／ショック nurse, 指名するd Brian, from California,?who is still 現在／一般に serving out his 宣告，判決 on 自宅監禁, recently spoke out about his harrowing 旅行 in a 一連の ビデオs 株d to his YouTube?channel.?

Brian broke 負かす／撃墜する in 涙／ほころびs as he opened up about how he would 内密に steal 薬／医学 and needles to 燃料 his はびこる 麻薬 中毒 while working as an RN in the ICU.

For years, he said he lived a 二塁打 life, coming to work and helping 患者s get better, as he himself 急落（する），激減（する）d into a downward spiral that he kept hidden from everyone around him.

A former nurse who got （麻薬）常用者d to ヘロイン and meth while working in a hospital has opened up about how his 麻薬 乱用 blew apart his 医療の career and landed him in 刑務所，拘置所

The ex 外傷／ショック nurse, 指名するd Brian, from California, who is still 現在／一般に serving out his 宣告，判決 on 自宅監禁, recently spoke out about his harrowing 旅行 on YouTube

The once-尊敬（する）・点d 医療の professional was 結局 逮捕（する）d for selling 麻薬s and 宣告，判決d to three to 10 years behind 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業s

結局, his 中毒s were brought to the surface after he failed a 麻薬 実験（する） at work and his wife noticed he had 示すs all over his 武器 from the needles - and he was 軍隊d to go to rehab.

But after spending three months at a 回復 中心, he quickly relapsed and his life continued to 落ちる apart.

His wife 最終的に left him, taking most of their 株d 所持品 同様に as their home, leaving him 失業 and living out of an RV while selling 麻薬s to make ends 会合，会う.

The once-尊敬（する）・点d 医療の professional was 結局 逮捕（する）d for selling 麻薬s and 宣告，判決d to three to 10 years behind 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業s.

Now sober, Brian spoke in 詳細（に述べる） about what he went through in the hopes of helping others who may be struggling with 麻薬 中毒.?

'Anyone from any background can find themselves stuck in 中毒の 宙返り飛行s that can become very destructive and life-deranging and this 含むs 医療の staff like your nurses and doctors - I can attest to that because I am one of those nurses,' he began in one of his YouTube ビデオs.

Brian explained that?he 'tried 麻薬s in high school and すぐに' enjoyed the feelin g, and he theorized that he was 'self 医薬 his own psychological problems.'

While at first, he 'took a liking to opiates,' he said everything changed after he discovered a 麻薬 called?kratom.

Brian broke 負かす／撃墜する in 涙／ほころびs as he opened up about how he would 内密に steal 薬／医学 and needles to 燃料 his はびこる 麻薬 中毒 while working as an RN in the ICU

によれば the 国家の 学校／設ける of 麻薬 乱用, kratom is 'an herbal 実体 that can produce opioid- and 興奮剤-like 影響s.' It is 合法的な in most parts of the US.

'From the day that I discovered kranum I started taking it 定期的に all the time,' Brian continued.?

'I preferred other opiates more but this one was always 利用できる and 合法的な and so I was able to be a 機能（する）／行事ing （麻薬）常用者 on that for years.'

By the time he started nursing school, he said he was 'fully 扶養家族' on the 麻薬.?

'I was a 十分な-on 中毒の mess already before I even started nursing,' he 認める.?

Even so, he got his license and was 雇うd as a 外傷／ショック RN in the ICU - but his '中毒' only '増大するd.'

'It wasn't 現実に because of?接近 to meds as you might 推定する／予想する it?was really more that I had 接近 to IV?器具／備品,' he 株d.?

'Using needles isn't?something I probably would have ever?done on my own but since I had become?comfortable with it as a nurse - starting IVs on 患者s, understanding?how they worked, knowing how to do it?適切に and professionally and 安全に - I?wasn't afraid to put needles in?myself at that point.?

'And it was really 平易な to have 接近 to all the IV 供給（する）s and needle?供給（する）s I 手配中の，お尋ね者 as a nurse.?I would take?extra needles home.?

'I also took meds from?hospitals when I could but there are a?lot of checks in place to 妨げる the staff from stealing 医薬s,?特に 医薬s?that are have 可能性のある for 乱用, so my 接近 to those were pretty?限られた／立憲的な.?

'I would get away with it when I?could, I'm not proud of this?明白に, I'm so ashamed of this.'

Brian said he started using ヘロイン e and meth 定期的に, all while 'hiding it' from his wife, whose 指名する he did not 株 for privacy 推論する／理由s.

He tried 多重の times to get clean 'for her,' rather than 焦点（を合わせる）ing on getting better for himself, something he now thinks was one of his major problems.?

'Nobody wants to be become an （麻薬）常用者 of any 肉親，親類d - 特に a ヘロイン and meth （麻薬）常用者 - but my 最初の／主要な 動機づけ at the time was, I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to [stop] for her,' he said.

'This is something that I think a lot of （麻薬）常用者s can really relate to, we don't want to be sick ourselves but we feel so 有罪の for what we have done to the people around us that our instinct isn't to get better for us, the instinct is to get better for the people we love and the people around us because of what we put them through.?

'My 最初の／主要な 動機づけ was really to be better for her. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to 証明する to her that I could be the guy that deserved her.'?

For years, he said he lived a 二塁打 life, coming to work and helping 患者s get better, as he himself 急落（する），激減（する）d into a downward spiral that he kept hidden from everyone around him

His wife 最終的に left him, taking most of their 株d 所持品 同様に as their home, leaving him 失業 and living out of an RV while selling 麻薬s to make ends 会合，会う

While things were going 井戸／弁護士席 for a while in 2018, he said all of that changed in 早期に 2019 when his wife was 軍隊d to move to her home city of Tahoe, California, to take care of her 病んでいる father.

'What I did after she left was, that very night I went 負かす／撃墜する into town and got some ヘロイン and brought it 支援する to the apartment and used,' he 解任するd.?

'The thing that I was placing my 動機づけ for change in had just left and wasn't going to be around for a while so [I thought], "This is an 適切な時期 to get high."'

Brian said after his 契約 ended at work he moved to Tahoe to be with her, where he 適用するd for a 地元の nursing 職業.

But during the onboarding 過程 he was asked to 服従させる／提出する a hair 見本 for 麻薬 実験（する）ing.

Panicked, he ordered a shampoo off the internet that's 'supposed to wash the 麻薬s out of your hair.' But unfortunately, he failed the 実験（する）.

'At this point was 完全に in 否定 about the 状況／情勢 and I 答える／応じるd with 怒り／怒る and 失望／欲求不満 instead of any 肉親，親類d of 受託 or self-reflection,' he dished.?

Brian 認める that he lied to his wife about why he didn't get the 職業 - but a few weeks later, his fib was exposed when she discovered a letter in the mail that said he had been '報告（する）／憶測d to the?board of nursing for failing a 麻薬?実験（する） and that he was under 調査.'

'While this 調査 was going on my?license would be 影響を受けない. So what I?decided to do was get a different?nursing 職業,' he continued.

'I ended up getting a?three-month 契約 at a place out of?town about halfway between Tahoe and San Francisco.?

'As soon as as I?started going 負かす／撃墜する there for these?assignments I started getting high 定期的に again.

'I'm in a 状況／情勢 where my?nursing license is at 火刑／賭ける and my?wife's dad is about to die and and 非，不，無 of that?計算するd.'

Unfortunately, his wife's father passed away a few weeks later, and when she asked him to try on one of his shirts in the days after his death, she noticed the 'needle 跡をつけるs' on his arm and decided to 行う／開催する／段階 an 介入.

'I took my shirt off and she could see everything and I think that was the most horrible moment of my life,' 認める Brian.

'Not because of what had happened to me, not because she had discovered what I was doing but watching her break after everything that had happened [with her dad]... Just watching her 落ちる apart was horrible man it was just horrible.'?

His wife 最終的に reached out to some of Brian's friends, and they 直面するd him and told him he had to go to rehab.?

He was there for three months, but six months after he finished 治療, he relapsed.?

'At that point I just didn't really care anymore. I was getting 離婚d and I was giving the house to my ex and and all of my things to my ex,' he said of that time of his life.

'I stopped nursing and I just ended up in this camper 先頭 doing ヘロイン and meth all the time. I did that for about a year and then started selling 麻薬s to support my habit.'

He was 軍隊d to stop after he was caught selling 麻薬s and got 逮捕（する）d. He said his turning point （機の）カム soon after he started his 宣告，判決, with him explaining in one of his YouTube ビデオs that he suddenly had a 'mental 転換' after realizing he was 'all alone in 刑務所，拘置所.'

'There was nobody to try to take care of in my life except me - that's when it finally clicked,' he said.?

He is now sober and has served three years, and was recently 許すd to continue his 宣告，判決 on 自宅監禁. In six months, he will be 適格の for 仮釈放（する）.

While 反映するing on his 旅行, he said he felt 'so much shame and self-loathing' about how he '扱うd his 責任／義務s as a 医療の professional.'? But he hopes that 存在 so open about it will help others.

'It's?never anyone's 意向 to get stuck in?中毒,' he 追加するd. 'How is it possible that we?can get so wrapped up in these things?and lose sight of everything else that's?going on in our lives 関わりなく the?consequences?

'This story is sad it's traumatic and not?because of the things that happened to?me but because of what I put my family?through.

'My hope in?telling this story is that it might be?helpful to anyone who is struggling with?中毒 or has struggled?with 中毒 [in the past] or has someone in their life who is （麻薬）常用者d.

'If you're 伴う／関わるd with someone who?is wrapped up in 中毒, I hope it might?just be helpful to hear this 視野?because no 事柄 how crazy it seems or how?selfish it seems, it's not their 計画（する）?to be like that.'

Brian 主張するd that にもかかわらず 'still 存在 incarcerated,' this feels like 'the best time of his life' because it's the first time he's been sober in so long.

'I just want this to?serve as a message,' he 結論するd. 'If?you're going through it or if you know?people that are going through it, it's possible - no 事柄 how bad it is -?to get to a way better place and experience?life in a way that's far superior than?you've ever experienced before.'