EXCLUSIVEI'll be sleeping with my friends' wives until I die: I'm （麻薬）常用者d to the 力／強力にする of cuckolding other men - and women just can't get enough of me too
Waking up groggy after a fizz-fuelled lunch is never a good idea. It takes me a good few seconds to realise I'm in a hotel room with the shapely arm of a snoozing naked woman draped over me. I gently 除去する it and hear her phone （犯罪の）一味ing.
Looking over, I notice it's Peter* calling. Her husband and my 同僚. I 許す myself a smirk because by God is he dull. Wherever he thinks his wife is, I'm 公正に／かなり 確信して he won't assume she's with me.
After a 爆破 in the にわか雨, I 出口 the hotel room ten minutes later and, just for fun, give Peter a call to check in on our 最新の 事業／計画（する）. I'd met Lydia*, the lady of the shapely arm, two weeks earlier at a work do held in a swanky restaurant overlooking the Thames.
I work in 財政上の 科学（工学）技術 ― often crunched to 'fintech' ― and in truth I hate these 網状組織ing events. Fintech has a disproportionate number of men working in the 産業 and to say they are geeks is putting it politely. But the one 誘発する on the horizon is that these soirees are an 適切な時期 to 会合，会う their better halves.
I didn't, and don't, 始める，決める out to sleep with other men's wives deliberately. It's just how it happens, 令状s the 匿名の／不明の adulterer
Peter and I had been 共同製作 on a systems 開始する，打ち上げる ― we still are ― and it was the first time he had introduced me to his wife. I do what I usually do, which is a surreptitious ten-second 評価. Brunette, curvy 人物／姿／数字, yoga-トンd 武器 by the looks of them. Lydia held 注目する，もくろむ 接触する for a （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 longer than necessary. Bingo!
I'm very rarely wrong about a woman's level of 利益／興味 in me. She was 平易な to find on social マスコミ and in fact 受託するd a lunch 招待 more quickly than I'd 推定する／予想するd...
Over the １０年間s ― I'm 56 ― there have been dozens of Lydias in my life. I wouldn't 述べる myself as some sort of snake-hipped Lothario, but I do have homes in London and California, and 存在 on the move has undoubtedly served my libido 井戸／弁護士席. I'm 現在／一般に on my second marriage, and have a daughter, 27, from my first.
I didn't, and don't, 始める，決める out to sleep with other men's wives deliberately. It's just how it happens. To be honest, I get away with it because I'm the last person you'd 推定する／予想する to seduce your wife. I'm not 正確に／まさに Brad Pitt. I'm a 公正に／かなり 普通の／平均（する） looking bloke, 5ft 10in, Jason Statham bald with the beginnings of a dad paunch.
But I'm never going to be one of those men you 位置／汚点／見つけ出す on the tennis 法廷，裁判所 who are happiest in male company. You won't find me at the 19th 穴を開ける, pint in 手渡す, boring on about my 傷害s.
The truth is I find male company crashingly dull. I'd far rather be entertained by their partners.
Was this the 推論する／理由 author John le Carre became a serial love cheat, often with the wives of his friends? Or was it ― and I relate to this too ― his means of feeling an 中毒の 肉親，親類d of 力／強力にする over other men? によれば his 伝記作家, le Carre had at least 11 事件／事情／状勢s. The 秘かに調査する 小説家 and former MI6 officer, real 指名する David Cornwell, （人命などを）奪う，主張するd infidelities were like 'a necessary 麻薬 for my 令状ing, a dangerous 辛勝する／優位 of some 肉親，親類d'.
His mistresses 含むd an au pair who looked after his son; the wife of a 秘かに調査する 同僚; a 新聞記者／雑誌記者, and a former model.
伝記作家 Adam Sissman 公式文書，認めるd: 'Several of the women with whom he had 事件／事情／状勢s were married to friends of his; this might happen by 事故 once, or even twice, but with David, it happened again and again. '
I understand. My 性の yearnings are 正確に／まさに the same. If a woman isn't 大（公）使館員d to a friend or married to a 同僚, then I'm afraid the 性の pizzazz just isn't there.
You might be wondering why and when did all this start. 井戸／弁護士席, I don't need Freudian 分析 to work it out. The pattern really began when I was in my teens.
I was the youngest of three boys, and a bit of a surprise to my parents, who had only ever 手配中の，お尋ね者 two children. I was told this blunt fact often, and perhaps used it, in my young boy's 長，率いる, to explain why I seemed to 欠如（する） the 肉親，親類d of parental love I saw my clever, sporty brothers receive.
Not that I had a Dickensian childhood. I was just rather neglected. Without my parents prodding or 賞賛する, I was left to it and, as a consequence, ended up pretty 普通の／平均（する） at everything. While my siblings （太陽，月の）食／失墜d me in the classroom and on the sports pitch, I discovered I was good at one thing. Listening.
David John Moore Cornwell, better known as 秘かに調査する author John le Carre, had 11 事件／事情／状勢s, によれば a 最近の biography
It was a 技術 I honed in the company of my brothers' girlfriends. As an ぎこちない adolescent, ignored by his family and regarded as nothing but a 害のない kid by the girls ― at least at first ― I became a sounding board for them.
I heard all sorts. Their insecurities, their dreams and why they were 長，率いる over heels in love with my brothers.
In fact, I learnt so much about the psyche of women during my teenage years that I couldn't help but become an 専門家 in it. My emotional 知能 grew and grew. I don't know why but something told me it was important to give them a 非，不，無-judgmental place to get things off their chest.
You know what comes next. Yes, I ended up having my first 性の experiences with my brother's girlfriend when I was 15. 認めるd the girl in question probably felt sorry for me. But the feeling of one-upmanship, 連合させるd with the afterglow of orgasm, was beyond edifying.
I felt glorious, as though I was on 最高の，を越す of the world. Sleeping with my brother's girlfriend gave me an 追加するd frisson because I was having sex with someone he ― one of the golden boys who monopolised my parents' attention ― cared for. At last, I was the one in 支配（する）／統制する.
急速な／放蕩な 今後 to university, where I fell in with the rugger lads who 熟考する／考慮するd hard and partied hard. I wasn't 特に 利益／興味d in having a girlfriend 支援する then ― it was just a 救済 to start (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むing a life away from the family home. Casual sex was 罰金 ― until my third year, that is, when I acquired my first serious girlfriend.
A fellow student who'd been hanging around our （人が）群がる for a year, she hadn't 特に 逮捕（する）d my attention, until I 設立する out that my best mate had a 鎮圧する on her. That's when I became レーザー 焦点（を合わせる）d on making her 地雷 ― and I did. We married three years later.
If my best friend was 傷つける by this 露骨な／あからさまの 行為／法令／行動する of unbrotherly 窃盗, he never said anything. In fact, I made him my best man at our wedding.
明白に, the story doesn't end there because I don't think a year went by when I wasn't unfaithful to my wife. It was the 早期に 1990s, we were living in London and while we had a 株d social circle, I was already deliberately cultivating another separate 網状組織 in the 商売／仕事 world.
The dot-com 泡 meant my services were in 需要・要求する; money sloshed about for socialising and I was 支援する and 前へ／外へ across the 大西洋, too. By my late 20s I had an apartment on the west coast and was schmoozing Silicon Valley, talking about this start up and that 開始する，打ち上げる. 存在 a workaholic was a badge of honour then and I'd 会合，会う 同僚s at 網状組織ing dos and social soir?es. Which is when I'd get to 会合，会う their wives and girlfriends, too.
My British accent served as a useful aphrodisiac. If I showed a flicker of 利益／興味, a surprising number would slip me their number and we'd 会合，会う up on the 静かな ― いつかs just for a drink, other times for far more.
Of course, they had no idea the 遭遇（する） held an extra thrill for me because of who they were ― the wife of a man I was doing 商売／仕事 with. I never felt a smidgen of 犯罪 about my 同僚s. Who's to say they weren't doing the same. As for 犯罪 に向かって my own beloved. I'm afraid not.
The fact is, it was a 削減（する）-throat world. Few of the men I did 商売／仕事 with were 利益／興味 d in a fair 交渉: if they could screw you over on a 契約, then they 絶対 would.
There is still little or no gentlemanly honour in 商売／仕事 取引，協定s. That's why I take so much 楽しみ in my extra-結婚の／夫婦の 事件／事情／状勢s. Yes, I did have the 半端物 dalliance with women who were unattached, but it left me unsatisfied. On one mortifying occasion I couldn't even finish what I'd started.
If my poor wife ever 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd what was going on, she never showed any 調印する of it. After the birth of our daughter, she 苦しむd a period of 地位，任命する-誕生の 不景気, and I 現実に got one of the women I'd been sleeping with to befriend her and 招待する her to mother and toddler groups.
Then, in my 30s, I made a 潜在的に 関心ing 発見. Several of the women I'd slept with had 交流d stories about me.
I suppose I should have been put out by this, or at least realise the danger of 可能性のある 発見 by their husbands or indeed my wife. But 現実に I wasn't. It turns out they had 査定する／（税金などを）課すd my 業績／成果 together and 設立する it not at all bad. I rather saw it as a badge of honour.
I did wonder what would happen if a husband 設立する out ― and once raised it with my therapist. We 結論するd that a husband was hardly going to make it public. Fortunately men of my age don't 株 their feelings in public or boo-hoo to their friends.
This was the late 90s, after all, and in that milieu, while extra-結婚の／夫婦の 連絡事務s weren't encouraged, they definitely weren't frowned upon. I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う some of the women thought if I hadn't slept with them, there was probably something wrong with them!
Things （機の）カム to a 長，率いる at home when my wife's father died. I think she took 在庫／株 and decided she didn't want to be married to me any more. It turned out she'd 設立する numbers, read emails and built her 事例／患者 over the course of several months.
To be honest it was a bit of a 救済. I was always waiting for the shoe to 減少（する） and when it did, it did so in みごたえのある style, and she kicked me out.
I don't think she'll ever know やめる how many women I slept with while we were together and it's probably best that she doesn't. I'd undoubtedly got a bit sloppy ― and bored with her if I'm honest. After that I did spend more time in the U.S. ― to lick my 負傷させるs and let things 冷静な／正味の 負かす／撃墜する with my wife in London.
And today? I am still essentially playing the same game. I deliberately drift between social circles, and male friends and 知識s who 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う what I'm up to are 速く excommunicated. No one wants an embarrassing 対決, do they?
When I married my second wife four years ago I did 約束 myself that I would change my ways ― and I gave it a good go for the first year (and, yes, we met when she was seeing a 同僚). I do try to be faithful, but the craving for sex with someone I shouldn't be sleeping with いつかs 無視／無効s all 合理的な／理性的な arguments.
The thrill is still there and occasionally I 行為／法令／行動する on those impulses. Given I'm now in my late 50s and have more years behind me than in 前線, that 勧める is ありそうもない to change.
As I shake the 手渡す of a new 商売／仕事 知識, I still find myself wondering what his wife is like. They all think their other halves are different and would never 逸脱する. But honestly, given the 激励, they really aren't.
I listen to them, you see. I genuinely hear what women are 説 and find it much more 利益／興味ing than anything their husbands ever say. The 技術s I learned as a teenage boy have never left me.
Are le Carr? and I monsters when it comes to our 性の proclivities? Am I a deviant who just doesn't care who I use or 傷つける?
Far from it. Firstly, I imagine there are many more of us than you think, and secondly, no one gets 傷つける if no one finds out.
It seems le Carre never gave up the thrill of the chase, nor the 急ぐ of 力／強力にする he must have felt when he 熟視する／熟考するd the men he was cuckolding.
I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う I will be the same ― still 注目する，もくろむing up my friends' wives until my dying day.
- As told to Samantha Brick
*All 指名するs have been changed to 保護する 身元s.
