Are you having enough sex? Our intimacy coach 明らかにする／漏らすs eight ways to have more - and make it better than ever

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If you find the idea of sex is slipping silently 負かす／撃墜する your 'to do' 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）, and you're ますます noticing a libido mismatch with your 重要な other, it might console you to know you are not alone.

A large 調査する published earlier this year by my online sex education 壇・綱領・公約, Beducated, 設立する that a paltry 40 per cent of us 率 our sex lives 前向きに／確かに. Almost two-thirds of the 1,800 回答者／被告s said they felt '中立の', '不満な 'or 'very 不満な' with their sex lives. One in five 自白するd to 存在 完全に out of sync with their partner.

It seems there's a silent 疫病／流行性の of apathy and miscommunication in the bedroom which is hitting 中央の-life couples 特に hard. The good news?

If you're stuck in a sex rut, or struggling to find any 外見 of 願望（する）, there?are? 解答s.

Read on to find out how to の近くに the sex gap...

告発（する），告訴（する）／料金-up your intimacy 殴打／砲列s

In long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 関係s, women often see a faster 減少（する） off in libido than male partners. Ou r 調査する 設立する one in four women experience low or absent libido - nearly 二塁打 the 率 for men - so there's little wonder so many 異性愛の couples talk about a sex-運動 mismatch.

But intimacy is like a phone 殴打／砲列 that needs to be 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金d every 選び出す／独身 day. Dr Juliana Hauser, Beducated's libido and 願望（する） 専門家, 示唆するs thinking of the 性の 関係 between you as a '滑走路 rather than a 炭坑，オーケストラ席 stop' and making a point of peppering your day with small gestures (a little wake-up kiss on the lips, a foot rub or a sexy text message) to build 関係 and 養育する intimacy.

These little tweaks will 蓄積する through the day, 軽く押す／注意を引くing 活動停止中の feelings of 願望（する） to make you more likely to be open to intimacy.

攻撃する，衝突する the gym

Your mental and physical health plays a 決定的な 役割 in how you feel about yourself. If you're not 確信して, that self-consciousness will creep into the bedroom.

But 40 per cent of 回答者／被告s in our 調査する said they'd like to feel more 確信して in the bedroom. And our data 設立する 正規の／正選手 physical activity - even as little as once a week - 上げるs 性の satisfaction, 願望（する） and 信用／信任. Gym-goers were 22 per cent more likely to 報告（する）／憶測 存在 '満足させるd 'or 'very 満足させるd' with their sex lives than those who don't 演習 定期的に.

Physical activity 配達するs a rise in feelgood hormones and, usually, 団体／死体 信用／信任. Dr Hauser says this might 増加する the 範囲 of positions you feel inclined to try in bed, and will certainly 改善する your ability to stay sexually active for longer.

Let's be honest, the results can also 衝撃 your 性の attraction to your partner and them to you.

匂いをかぐ his sweaty shirt

Don't underestimate the 力／強力にする of smell! We are 高度に 極度の慎重さを要する to the pheromones in our partner's sweat and women may have 発展させるd in such a way that a man's smell can 誘発する／引き起こす ovulation and a 殺到する in libido.?

If you seldom cuddle, you could be 行方不明の out on the libido-上げるing 影響s of his man scent. So give him a big 抱擁する when he gets 支援する from work or こそこそ動く a 匂いをかぐ at his sports shirt.

The REAL foreplay

強調する／ストレス is a 抱擁する mood 殺し屋: 61 per cent of our 調査する 関係者s said it 直接／まっすぐに 衝撃s their sex life. Women can be 不均衡な 影響する／感情d, 報告（する）／憶測ing that 取引，協定ing with daily stressors can leave them too exhausted to be intimate.?

It can be really tricky to switch from one 役割 (parent, 労働者, dogsbody) into a space where you sexually connect. So don't even think about any 肉親，親類d of 性の foreplay until you've （疑いを）晴らすd the decks of libido-限界ing and 強調する／ストレス-inducing mental clutter.

Dr Hauser recommends ダンピング distracting thoughts by 令状ing a 'to do' 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） and leaving it in the kitchen. Put your phone out of reach - there's nothing sexy about pre-coital doom-scrolling.

Flip your sex script

Don't let sex become a repetitive chore. Dr Hauser's 'Four Quadrant' 演習 is a 広大な／多数の／重要な way to spice things up. Sit 負かす／撃墜する together and 令状 a long 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of every 肉親，親類d of 性の 活動／戦闘 you can think of, from kissing to something outside your 慰安 zone. Then, working 個々に, put each 活動／戦闘 into one of four quadrants:

• Something you have tried and want to try again
• Something you have tried and don't think you'd want to do again
• Something you 港／避難所't tried and are curious to try
• Something you 港／避難所't tried and are pretty 確かな you don't want to try

Going over your charts together can 誘発する ideas for experiences you might both like to try (同様に as the chance to call 'time' on activities you no longer enjoy).

計画（する） a 非，不，無-food date night

While you might worry that putting sex in the diary （土地などの）細長い一片s spontaneity from the 行為／法令／行動する, it can be a gamechanger for couples who struggle to find time to be intimate.

But a big fancy dinner will only leave you feeling bloated and sleepy. Get those creative juices flowing instead by （ーのために）とっておくing an evening to read an erotic novel together, 調印する up for a tango class, or relax on a spa day. Time spent together in a relaxing 環境 can have a 抱擁する intimacy-上げるing 影響.

星／主役にする into his 注目する，もくろむs

Long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 couples rarely look into each other's 注目する，もくろむs. 熟考する／考慮するs show men very often 星／主役にする 深く，強烈に into a woman's 注目する，もくろむs at the beginning of a 関係, yet over time the habit fades. But women crave 'the gaze' and this simple 行為／法令／行動する can help re-点火（する） a 活動停止中の libido.

Try this 演習: sit opposite each other somewhere comfortable and spend two minutes looking into each other's 注目する，もくろむs. Dr Hauser 示唆するs trying this with your 団体／死体s not touching, and then again with your 膝s just 小衝突ing: 'The experience can really 強める when you 追加する physical touch,' she says.

Let's talk about sex

Feeling unable to 発言する／表明する your 願望（する）s, needs and 境界s is a very big 問題／発行する: a staggering 95 per cent of our surve y 回答者／被告s said they wished they or their partner would communicate better.

Dr Hauser says feeling emotionally connected is a big turn-on and communication is 最高位の.

If the thought of talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, try 地位，任命する-orgasm pillow talk when oxytocin (the 社債ing hormone) is flooding through your 団体／死体.

Try asking: What do you 恐れる about sex? What do you 願望（する） when it comes to sex?

As told to Louise Atkinson

• Mariah Freya is 創立者 and CEO of www.Beducated.com which is an online sex education course 壇・綱領・公約 for adults

• Dr. Juliana Hauser is licensed therapist, psychosocial 教育の 専門家, coach, and author of A New Position on Sex (published Autumn 2024) www.dr-juliana.com