Simone 胆汁s thought she was going to be 'banned' after Tokyo Olympics

体操教師（選手） Simone 胆汁s has opened up about the harrowing first thought she had after she messed up her 丸天井 during the Tokyo Olympics - and she 認める that she was terrified she would be 'banned from America' 予定 to the 事故. The Olympic gold メダル受領者, 27, withdrew from many events at the 2020 games in Asia , after she famously つまずくd during her 丸天井 after 苦しむing from something called 'the twisties' - a mental 封鎖する that 原因（となる）s 体操教師（選手）s to feel like they are 'lost in the 空気／公表する.' Now, she has spoken out about the 初期の thing that went through her mind after she landed the 丸天井 - and she explained that すぐに, all she could think about was what people were going to say about her.

During a 最近の 外見 on Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast, which 空気／公表するd this morning, the 競技者 said that she was so mortified she '手配中の，お尋ね者 to run' away and get on a 計画（する） home すぐに. She said she was worried America would 'hate her' or brand her as a 'flop' for failing to earn another gold メダル - and even 恐れるd she might not be 許すd 支援する home. 'I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to run, if I could have gotten a 計画（する） and flown home [権利 then] I would have done it,' dished the sports 星／主役にする.

'As soon as I landed, I was like, "America hates me. The world is going to hate me. I can only [imagine] what they're 説 on Twitter 権利 now." That was my first thought. 'I was like, "宗教上の [expletive], what are they gonna say about me?" Because usually if you go to the Olympics and you flop, everybody on their couch eating their 半導体素子s [has something to say]. 'I thought I was gonna be banned from America. They tell you, "Don't come 支援する if it's not gold. Gold or 破産した／（警察が）手入れする. Don't come 支援する." 'I was like, "I'm gonna be in one of those ビデオs called flops at the Olympics. This is horrible."'

The 27-year-old 追加するd that she knew すぐに that she couldn't compete any more and needed to pull herself from the 残り／休憩（する） of the events. 'I knew I couldn't 回復する. I knew how long the twisties take to get over and I knew it wasn't 夜通し,' she explained. 'すぐに I go to tell my coach, "I'm done I'm not doing anymore." [I felt like], if I 生き残るd that I don't know how much else I can 生き残る. 'I always say I'm a cat with nine lives but I think that was my ninth. I said, "I'm done."'

Simone 認める that she was 'internally freaking out' but 'didn't want to freak out in 前線 of' her チーム仲間s. 'I stayed as composed as I could have. I didn't want to 脅す the girls,' she told Alex. She 解任するd her チーム仲間s telling her that they couldn't 勝利，勝つ without her, but she told them, 'You guys are here because you're the best in the world. Go out there and do your 職業.' 'It was really hard on them mental ly, they lost their best player, the 退役軍人,' she 追加するd.

'That's something that I'll never 許す myself for. I wish I could have been in there with them in the way that I was supposed to. But after that, I became their loudest and best cheerleader. 'At that point it was like, I needed to take care of myself. It was 権利 for my team. I [knew I] couldn't let my pride get in the way and try to 押し進める through just to compete at the Olympics again. I need to see what was wrong mentally.' During the interview, Simone also spoke about the moments that lead up to the now-悪名高い 丸天井. She explained that she was already 'having the twisties' during her training but that she tried to '押し進める past it.'?She said she knew that 深い 負かす／撃墜する she was 'fighting demons' but 手配中の，お尋ね者 to keep going for her 'チーム仲間s.'

'I literally felt like I was fighting my 団体／死体 and my mind to do these tricks,' she 解任するd. At the Olympics, she said each of them got 'one turn to warm up their 丸天井,' and hers went terribly wrong. 'It didn't feel comfortable I had no idea where I am, but I'm 新たな展開ing and praying, like, "[Please] land on my feet,"' she remembered of the warmup. 'All of the 体操教師（選手） in there from all the countries [could tell]. My チーム仲間s were shook ... I'm trying to 納得させる myself I'm 承認する. 'But everything was not 承認する. But I knew I had to go. I have to put up a 得点する／非難する／２０ no 事柄 what.' When asked to 述べるd what the twisties felt like, she said it was like a 'disconnect between your mind and your 団体／死体.'

'The best way I could 述べる it is - every day you 運動 a car. If one day you woke up and you had no idea how to 運動 a car and your 脚s were going crazy you had no 支配（する）／統制する over your 団体／死体 - that's 肉親，親類d of how it feels,' she 株d. 'You've been doing something for so long and you no longer have 支配（する）／統制する. It's terrifying. 'Your 団体／死体 is going to try to do something and your mind is going to be like, "No you're not doing." Simone 以前 hinted that the 出来事/事件 had to 予定 with the 性の 乱用 she had 苦しむd at the 手渡すs of doctor Larry Nassar . She was one of more than 150 体操教師（選手）s who were 乱用d by Larry, the former 国家の team doctor, during his 30-year career, and in 2019, she said the 外傷／ショック of the 強襲，強姦s had left her struggling with suicidal thoughts.

'The main 推論する／理由 I did that was because a lot of people followed me and go on my 壇・綱領・公約s,' she said of her 決定／判定勝ち（する） to speak out about what she 耐えるd. 'I've always been an open and honest 調書をとる／予約する. I decided to speak out because I knew it could help a lot of people. 'But I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be in a good enough place and 手配中の，お尋ね者 the proper help lined up before I spoke out. 'Because that stuff was so traumatizing and I don't understand how I did what I did under those circumstances.' 'There were a lot of sleepless nights, of like, "Why me?"' she 追加するd of the horrific 乱用. Simone made a 勝利を得た return to 体操 in August - に引き続いて a two-year hiatus from the sport.

In September, she 明らかにする／漏らすd on the Today show that she wants to compete at the Games next summer in Paris, フラン - but 認める she 'will have to take care o f herself' more than she did in Tokyo and is を受けるing therapy to 'make sure everything is 提携させるd.' During her 外見 on Call her Daddy, Simone 自白するd that she was nervous that something 類似の to what happened at the Tokoyo games may happen again at in Paris. She 解任するd asking her therapist, 'Look, it's Olympic year, did we 人物／姿／数字 out why that happened? Are we sure?' 'It wasn't just the twisties, it was compressing all of this s**t for so many years, it just 広げるd. You can't compress 外傷／ショック,' she 追加するd. 'I held a lot of 犯罪 that wasn't 地雷 to 持つ／拘留する.'

While 反映するing on her mental health 旅行, the 競技者 explained that because she was always 述べるd as so 'strong,' she felt like she could 'never show any 調印する of 証拠不十分.' 'I got to a point where it was so hard for me to cry or show emotion,' she continued. 'I didn't want anyone to ever see me cry.' Simone - who said she was 診断するd with 不景気 and 苦悩 - explained that there were 'a lot of times' she felt 'so alone' and like she 'had the 負わせる of the world on her shoulders.' She 追加するd that she still has 'good and bad days,' but that what happened to her 'doesn't define her.'

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