EXCLUSIVEI was sectioned after 存在 given a tranquiliser for 苦悩 that 誘発する／引き起こすd a 脅すing slide into psychosis. But the worst part of my ordeal was how doctors tried to cure me
Emma Saunders, an actress and photographer, went to her father's 私的な GP in Chelsea with tinnitus in November 2020. 'I'd woken up with a loud （犯罪の）一味ing in my ears ― it was 苦しめるing because I'd not had anything like it before and didn't know what was going on,' she says.
'I went 個人として because I 推定する／予想するd the doctor to have 接触するs and to 言及する me to a specialist for 実験（する）s.'
Instead, the GP 定める／命ずるd a tranquilliser, lorazepam, telling Emma, then 34, it would 静める her 負かす／撃墜する and help her sleep.
'The doctor 明白に thought I was having a 炉心溶融 ― he said he was going to give me something to take until the pandemic was over [the UK was then in a 国家の lockdown] and life got 支援する to normal,' she says.
Emma believes the 決定／判定勝ち（する） to take the 医薬 changed the course of her life for the worse and she is still 苦しむing now.
Emma Saunders was sectioned and 認める to three psychiatric hospitals after a GP 定める／命ずるd her?a tranquilliser for her tinnitus in November 2020
'Over the next three years, I was sectioned and 認める to three psychiatric hospitals. I became psychotic and was in such unbearable physical and mental agony that I tried to kill myself several times.'
She 追加するs: 'Three-and-a-half years later I'm still unwell. I've got long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 神経 損失, have 厳しい migraines and 苦痛 in my 注目する，もくろむs and am often 限定するd to my bed for weeks because I'm so unwell.'
Emma's story began with a tranquilliser, but her より悪くするing 条件 and long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 health problems are linked to the 味方する-影響s of the 麻薬 itself ― but as is too often the 事例／患者, these symptoms were seen as her 条件 より悪くするing ― rather than 負かす／撃墜する to the 麻薬 itself, 主要な to more 医薬, 誘発する／引き起こすing an agonising 条件 called akathisia.
This is a dangerous 味方する-影響 of some 医薬s, おもに antipsychotics, but it can also occur with antidepressants and even some 抗生物質s.
Akathisia 原因（となる）s 激しい restlessness, an 無（不）能 to keep still and a feeling of terror. It can 運動 患者s to kill themselves.
Lorazepam is a benzodiazepine, a type of 麻薬 used to 扱う／治療する 条件s such as 苦悩, 不景気 and insomnia.
'The GP said it was 完全に 安全な and I could take it until the end of lockdown [which lasted, with periods of 緩和 of the 支配するs in between, for another six months],' says Emma.
'I thought nothing of it because he's a doctor and I 信用d him.'
In fact, under 公式の／役人 指導基準s, these 麻薬s should be 定める／命ずるd for no more than two to four weeks, and should not be used as first-line 治療s for 条件s such as 苦悩 ― the 指導基準s also 警告する that 存在 扶養家族 on them is ありふれた between two to four weeks of taking them.
As David Healy, a former professor of psychiatry at the University of むちの跡s who is an 専門家 in the 味方する-影響s of psychiatric 医薬, explains: 'These 麻薬s can be useful for 扱う／治療するing short-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 苦悩, but in the longer 称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 they can be lethal.
'People can get 麻薬中毒の on them in just a week and 撤退 problems can be so 厳しい that some people are unable to get off them, or do so with 破滅的な consequences.'
I remember first coming across the problems these pills 原因（となる） in the 1980s when I was a 研究員 working on the TV 消費者 programme That's Life!
Emma believes the 決定／判定勝ち（する） to take the 医薬 changed the course of her life for the worse and she is still 苦しむing now
Emma's より悪くするing 条件 and long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 health problems are linked to the 味方する-影響s of the tranquiliser 麻薬 itself
Benzodiazepine 中毒 was one of the （選挙などの）運動をするs 支持する／優勝者d by my then boss, Esther Rantzen. In the に引き続いて １０年間s, 117 UK GPs and 50 health 当局 were 告訴するd by 患者s to 回復する 損害賠償金 for the harmful 影響s of dependence and 撤退.
Yet にもかかわらず such 関心s and にもかかわらず the 公式の／役人 指導基準s, nearly 1.5 million people in England alone take benzodiazepines.
Thousands more are on them for longer than as 始める，決める out in 公式の／役人 指導基準s ― 120,000 people were given continuous prescriptions for benzodiazepines between April 2015 and March 2018, によれば the 最新の 人物／姿／数字s from the 国家の 学校／設ける for Health and Care Excellence.
It's not '簡単に' that people are 存在 put on ― and then left on ― these 麻薬s inappropriately, there is a worrying 欠如（する） of 認識／意識性 の中で healthcare professionals about the 味方する-影響s. Emma began having problems with lorazepam after just a month of starting to take it.
'It helped me to sleep at first, but then it began to have the opposite 影響,' she says.
'I was waking up in the 早期に hours in a 明言する／公表する of terror. It got worse until it wasn't just in the middle of the night, it was throughout the day, too.'
(A lesser 関心 was that it hadn't helped her tinnitus either, more on that later.)
Professor Healy explains: 'Lorazepam is a short-事実上の／代理 麻薬 which means it may put you to sleep but, after a few hours, it will wash out of your system and you will wake up again.'
He says what Emma experienced sounds like 'interdose' 撤退 ― 'this happens when （麻薬中毒の）禁断症状s 現れる in between scheduled doses: the problem with benzodiazepines is that they can 原因（となる） the things they 扱う／治療する, so when the 麻薬 wears off 患者s can get 回復する 苦悩 or 回復する insomnia'.
Emma asked her GP if she should continue taking the 麻薬 'and he said it was 安全な to carry on with it', she 解任するs.
With Covid travel 制限s relaxed, Emma had gone to stay with her father in Spain.
'I was in the glorious 日光 but I felt anxious all the time,' she says. 'I couldn't eat, concentrate or do anything.'
Eight weeks after starting on lorazepam Emma saw a doctor in Spain who 診断するd what she now knows was interdose 撤退 as 苦悩, and 定める／命ずるd citalopram 同様に. This is a type of SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), a class of antidepressants that is 広範囲にわたって 定める／命ずるd.
Emma's 条件 became worse, she 解任するs: 'Within hours of taking it, I started having a feeling of constant terror, I was 激しく揺するing 支援する and 前へ／外へ in my bed and I was unable to sit still.'
Her 無（不）能 to keep still is characteristic of akathisia.
Professor Healy explains: 'This is an agonising disorder which is typically 原因（となる）d by antipsychotics, but can also be 原因（となる）d by antidepressants, benzodiazepines and some other 医薬s, such as antiemetics [used to 妨げる nausea]; pregabalin [for epilepsy, 苦悩 and 神経 苦痛]; antimalarials and even some 抗生物質s.
'It tends to happen when people first go on the 麻薬, come off or change dose. I've seen people who are pacing and 叫び声をあげるing and banging their 長，率いるs against 塀で囲むs because they are so 苦しめるd by it,' says Professor Healy.
While the exact 原因（となる） and the 割合 of people taking 医薬 who are 影響する／感情d by akathisia are not known, in a 熟考する／考慮する Professor Healy ran in 2000, where 20 healthy people were given the SSRI sertraline, one in ten developed akathisia, 報告（する）／憶測d the 定期刊行物 最初の／主要な Care Psychiatry.
Nicole Lamberson is the 医療の director of Benzodiazepine （警察などへの）密告，告訴（状） 連合 ― a U.S. based support group of 患者s and 医療の professionals. She says they are 接触するd by 苦しんでいる人s from all over the world, 含むing many in the UK.
It's crazy how these 薬／医学s can alter your 明言する／公表する from 存在 a very happy person to all of a sudden thinking about 自殺 all the time, Emma says
'We hear 定期的に that someone has taken their own life because the agony of akathisia and 麻薬 撤退 was too much to 耐える,' she says. With the 許可 of their families, Nicole has 地位，任命するd a ビデオ on YouTube of Christine Narloch, from Wisconsin, and Stephanie Eisensmith, from Florida, who both 苦しむd akathisia after 存在 taken off their prescription benzodiazepines too quickly. Both ended their lives because the agony was too much.
The ビデオs are 深く，強烈に 苦しめるing, showing the women unable to stop moving and crying.
They both asked for these ビデオs to be made public to raise 認識／意識性.
Christine wrote to her family before she took her own life in 2017, 老年の 48: 'I've 苦しむd horrifically from the lorazepam 定める／命ずるd by a doctor. Please know I tried to 生き残る. Mikey [her husband] has a ビデオ to show you a tiny bit of what I went through.'
The ビデオs have a particular poignancy for me as I, too, 手配中の，お尋ね者 to end my life 予定 to akathisia. My ordeal began in 2012 when I went to a doctor with insomnia 原因（となる）d by a 離婚. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 sleeping pills, but was 定める／命ずるd antidepressant escitalopram, an SSRI.
I am one of the 概算の 2 to 5 per cent of people who 苦しむ a 厳しい 逆の reaction to antidepressants: I became acutely psychotic and was 認める to a 私的な hospital, where doctors didn't realise it was the antidepressant that had 原因（となる）d my psychosis.
They sectioned me, 定める／命ずるing more antidepressants and anti-psychotics and, over the course of a year, I became nearly catatonic.
Almost as soon as I started on the 初めの 医薬 I developed 激烈な／緊急の akathisia ― even now, 12 years later, I find it hard to relive the agony.
At times, the 無（不）能 to sit still was so unbearable that I would wander the streets for hours.
いつかs it was so agonising that I thought of jumping under a train. I also lived in a 明言する／公表する of terror as if I was about to be attacked. My ordeal ended with my admission to a different hospital where I went 冷淡な turkey.
Since then I have been 完全に 井戸／弁護士席 and 麻薬-解放する／自由な.
But throughout that year, not one 医療の professional recognised that my 条件 had been 原因（となる）d by 麻薬-induced akathisia.
Instead, they thought my 願望（する） to kill myself and 無（不）能 to stop movin g was 簡単に a mental health problem.
Having gone online and 設立する support groups of people who were 苦しむing from benzodiazepine and antidepressant 撤退, Emma wondered if her 医薬 might also be to 非難する for her symptoms ― so a month after 存在 put on citalopram, she started to 減ずる the dose. While her akathisia 改善するd, she still wasn't 支援する to her usual self, 苦しむing insomnia and 'unnatural 苦悩 ― I could barely leave my room', she says.
Two months after coming off citalopram, Emma decided to stop taking the lorazepam, too, which she'd been on for five-and-a-half months. But this made her 条件, 含むing the akathisia, much worse.
'I started getting electric- shock feelings, and I didn't sleep at all,' she 解任するs. 'My eyesight was blurry and my 審理，公聴会 was muffled. I had this strange feeling that I had left my 団体／死体.'
These are classic 調印するs of antidepressant and benzodiazepine 撤退, say 専門家s.
関心d, Emma's father took her to a hospital.
She 解任するs: 'I was strapped into a 議長，司会を務める and taken up to this awful psychiatric 部隊 ― it was like a 刑務所，拘置所 rather than a place where a doctor would send you to get better. I realised it was the 医薬 that was making me ill and the last thing I 手配中の，お尋ね者 was any more 麻薬s. But they made me take sertraline [another SSRI] and 脅すd to 注入する me with the antipsychotic olanzapine if I didn't agree.
'My tinnitus was 叫び声をあげるing in my ears ― it felt like my whole 団体／死体 was a melting マリファナ of hell.'
After three days, Emma 説得するd doctors to 発射する／解雇する her. But, still 苦しむing, 'I Googled how to kill myself ― the awful thing is I didn't want to die, I just 手配中の，お尋ね者 the 苦しむing to stop', she says.
In the summer of 2021, her mother flew over to take her home to the UK. 支援する in London, her 条件 より悪くするd.
'At this point I'm 負かす／撃墜する to 5st ―usually I'm 8st ― I'm 5ft 4in,' she says. 'I'm pacing 24/7 in a circle and I still can't sleep. My friend has taken a ビデオ of this; I'm in 十分な psychosis. I thought I was dead, that I was in hell and that my mum was the Devil.'
Over the next four months, Emma was sectioned twice and put on more antidepressants and antipsychotics. Her physical and mental health 拒絶する／低下するd as the akathisia and other （麻薬中毒の）禁断症状s 増大するd and resulted in more 試みる／企てるs to take her life.
Her nightmare ended in November 2021, a year after it began, when a nurse gave her lorazepam, the same 麻薬 that had begun her ordeal ― this time, to help with her agitation and constant pacing.
'Suddenly, I felt 承認する,' says Emma. 'It was like a 奇蹟. I was able to have a normal conversation.'
She saw a 私的な psychiatrist who told her that she was 苦しむing 長引いた 撤退 from the lorazepam, and he recommended she 復帰させる it and 次第に減少する off it slowly, along with the other antidepressant and antipsychotic 麻薬s she'd been 定める／命ずるd.
Emma has been doing this for two-and-a-half years and has been told it will take several more to get off them 完全に.
'The （麻薬中毒の）禁断症状s are いつかs so bad that it feels as if I'm having seizures or a 一打／打撃 ― and いつかs the akathisia comes 支援する,' she says. She also still 苦しむs from tinnitus ― a specialist has 診断するd a problem with her Eustachian tube, probably 原因（となる）d by Covid, which she had during the first lockdown.
While I'm 乱すd by Emma's story, I'm not at all surprised.
After my own experience, I 始める，決める up a （選挙などの）運動をするing website and I am frequently 接触するd by people like Emma, who have no history of mental illness but who also become suicidal from 麻薬s such as antidepressants, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines.
Last week, I was 接触するd by a 長，率いる teacher who developed akathisia and became suicidal すぐに after taking citalopram for 強調する／ストレス.
After a year, which 含むd several 試みる／企てるs to end his life, he was lucky to 会合，会う a psychiatrist who 正確に 診断するd that his 条件 had been 原因（となる）d by the 麻薬 and helped 次第に減少する him off it.
Now 回復するd, he told me that he was so desperate he rang the Samaritans 15 times.
He believes he could have been saved a year of hell if it had raised the 可能性 that some 医薬s can 原因（となる） people to want to kill themselves and that he may be 苦しむing akathisia. Emma, too, had 接触するd the Samaritans.
誘発するd by their stories, I spoke to a number of 専門家s about what could be done to 演説（する）／住所 this problem ― their suggestion was for 医療の professionals and helpline staff alike to ask people: 'Have you become suicidal since going on, changing dose or coming off a 麻薬 that 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）s suicidal thoughts as a 可能性のある 味方する-影響?'
When I 接触するd the Samaritans a spokesperson said: 'Our listening volunteers are not medically trained clinicians and do not 申し込む／申し出 advice on prescription 医薬.
'Discussions about 治療 選択s, 含むing any possible 味方する-影響s, must be had with a GP or other qualified healthcare professional.'
In Professor Healy's 見解（をとる）, while 自殺 予防 services cannot be 推定する／予想するd to 申し込む／申し出 医療の advice, 'they could raise the 可能性 with 報知係s that their problems may be 原因（となる）d by 医薬 and that if there's a 危険, they should go 支援する to their doctor or 捜し出す 医療の advice'.
This, he says, could save people taking their own lives 'and 妨げる thousands from the agony 原因（となる）d by an 逆の 麻薬 reaction'.
That's why I am organising a 嘆願（書） to call for 自殺 予防 services to ask 患者s this 重要な question.
Emma 追加するs: 'It's crazy how these 薬／医学s can alter your 明言する／公表する from 存在 a very happy person to all of a sudden thinking about 自殺 all the time.
'I didn't 現実に want to die ― I was just experiencing the 味方する-影響s of these 麻薬s.'
Katinka Blackford Newman's website can be 設立する at antidepressantrisks.org
