My 未亡人d 77-year-old grandmother is dating a 41-year-old man - how do we stop him taking our 相続物件? Money psychotherapist VICKY REYNAL replies

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My 未亡人d grandmother is やめる young-at-heart for 77 and is dating a man who is 41.?

She is happy and says he’s not after her money but as her family, we are terrified. My grandfather left her comfortably off and we 恐れる she might be fleeced and left in penury. Or her boyfriend may be after our 相続物件 which would be 相当な.?

My parents want to 行う／開催する／段階 an 介入, 反して her three adult grandchildren (me 含むd) think it could 疎遠にする her so she never speaks to us again. We don’t know what to do ? what do you think?

C.W. Edinburgh

Annette Bening and Jamie Bell 星／主役にする in Don't Get Old in Liverpool, about a woman's romance with a much younger man

Money Psychotherapist Vicky Reynal replies: It is 理解できる to be worried and to want to 保護する your grandmother from 潜在的に 存在 manipulated. I don’t think this is an either/or 状況／情勢, as in you either have an 介入 or you say nothing.

I think you are 権利: an ‘介入’ 伴う／関わるing the whole family making a strong point might leave her feeling ギャング（団）d up on and, as you say, 疎遠にする her. This 要求するs a more delicate conversation, in which maybe one or two family members approach her.

The language should be 試験的な and not accusatory (‘you are na?ve’ or ‘he is after your money’) so that she is not thrown into a 防御の position from the start. You want to 伝える to your grandmother that out of care for her you want to make sure that she is looking after her 財政／金融s, and not leaving herself open to unintentionally giving away more than she is comfortable with. This is different from 説 ‘he is scamming you’ or ‘he is taking advantage of you’. It is tempting to make strong 声明s if we don’t feel we are 存在 heard, but you 危険 having the opposite 影響.

You could use the third person to make your grandmother aware of シナリオs she could be mindful of, ‘it’s not unheard of for people to start using their partner’s credit card without their knowledge’ or maybe ‘there are professionals who can advise you on the best way to 保護する your 財政／金融s’.

Let’s be （疑いを）晴らす: it’s obvious that you are insinuating that you feel her partner could have exploitative 意向s, but it’s still a softer way of 存在 direct than making 告訴，告発s which might or could be unfounded.

But listen, too. Your grandmother might have considered all of the above and have 演説（する）／住所d it already one way or another. Maybe she has already taken 警戒s, or maybe she has idealised this man and is in 否定 about the 危険s. It is possible, too, that she is fully aware of the 危険s yet still wants to live this romance and enjoy the happiness and companionship that it brings her now, knowing that if there are consequences she’ll 直面する them 負かす／撃墜する the line.

Ideal? No, but 最終的に, however, the choice is hers.

In fact, that could be the very 推論する／理由 why all this is happening: as we age and we become worried about the 可能性のある loss of 自治 that comes with an ageing mind and 団体／死体, so she could be making a strong 声明 to the family about the fact that she still has choice and 機関 in her life and she is not ready to give that up. This young boyfriend could be a way to 持つ／拘留する on to her 青年, and her freedom.

If your grandmother wants to leave all her 相続物件 to her younger boyfriend, it’s her prerogative. You and the 残り／休憩（する） of the family might find it outrageous and feel robbed and 怒り／怒るd by this, but we are all する権利を与えるd to make our choices - even if that means having to live with the consequences. For the family, it’s about finding a balance between making her conscious of so me 危険s without becoming controlling or judgemental.

Do you have a question for Vicky Reynal? Email vicky.reynal@dailymail.co.uk