My dementia 苦しんでいる人 mother has been 支払う／賃金ing my brother thousands. I feel jealous and worried ? should I 直面する him? Money psychotherapist VICKY REYNAL replies
My mother has dementia and is also a 未亡人 but still lives in her own home. I moved to live nearby with my young family after her diagnosis so I can keep an 注目する，もくろむ on her. Before my mother got dementia, she gave me 力／強力にする of 弁護士／代理人／検事?? おもに because my younger brother 作品 abroad and is rarely in the UK.?
I now have 接近 to her bank account and can see she has been 支払う／賃金ing thousands of 続けざまに猛撃するs into my brother's bank account over the past year.?
She has never について言及するd these 支払い（額）s and neither has he.?
I'm worried he's either talked her into giving him money or she's doing it without fully understanding it. I also feel 極端に jealous. I do all the 'on call' care but I don't get a penny for it?? nor would I want it. Should I 直面する him? I さもなければ have a lovely, if not remote 関係 with him. S, Devon.
Whether you 直面する him or not, what you know will be difficult to keep out of mind because it has stirred up feelings, Vicky Reynal 令状s
Money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal replies:?Yes, I believe you should 直面する your brother. First of all, because your 関係 with him will 必然的に be 衝撃d by this 発見: whether you 直面する him or not, what you know will be difficult to keep out of mind because it has stirred up feelings.?
You について言及する feeling jealous but 怒り／怒る and 不信 may be の近くに to the surface too. The same goes for your 関係 with your mother; it might be hard to continue to care for her with empathy if a part of you is troubled by the 可能性のある 推論する／理由s she is giving so generously to your brother.
Secondly, and 特に if your 力／強力にする of 弁護士／代理人／検事 含むs managing your mother's 財政／金融s, you might have a 義務 to 確実にする that there isn't '財政上の 乱用' going on, as you 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う.?
財政上の 乱用 is defined as 制限するing someone's ability to acquire, use and 持続する 財政上の 資源s ? and so taking money from your mother without her 十分な understanding or 同意 would be an abusive behaviour you would want to expose ーするために 保護（する）／緊急輸入制限 her.
One thing you 港／避難所't considered is whether your mother has willingly decided to 支払う／賃金 into your brother's account. It isn't uncommon for parents to 扱う／治療する their children 異なって and the differences can 延長する to 財政上の support.?
In my experience, while the children often 解釈する／通訳する this as '明確に that means they love my sibling more', the explanations tend to be far more 変化させるd and コンビナート／複合体.?
いつかs parents give more to an adult child that they have always seen as 'the more 攻撃を受けやすい one,' or to the one seen to have greater 財政上の 責任／義務s (they have more children, for example). Yet いつかs parents are unknowingly repeating patterns of their own しつけ, patterns where one child received preferential 治療.
You 心にいだく the 関係 with your brother, so how you 直面する him does 事柄. You have built hypotheses about what might be going on, but don't let these turn into 告訴，告発s.?
You can start calmly, and explain that you see these 正規の／正選手 移転s to him and you wonder what that is about. Also, you might feel 恐れる and 苦悩 in that conversation which might impair your listening 技術s.?
So make an 成果／努力 to?really hear the answers 存在 given because your mind will be looking to 急速な／放蕩な-今後 to an answer as it tries to relieve you of the 苦悩.
While it can seem scary to 始める a conversation that might result in your important 関係s 存在 衝撃d, and a part of you might want to keep things as they are, the reality is that those things have already changed. You will be doing the 権利 thing.
Do you have a question for Vicky Reynal? Email vicky.reynal@dailymail.co.uk
