Ewok Jerky For Strength
Air fresheners come in all sorts of wonderful and sometimes quite useless fragrances. Why don’t they make ones that smell like beef jerky? Molded plastic? old books? Sour candy? Bacon? How about sushi? After all, who wouldn’t want their house to smell like raw fish? Want to know why my childhood name was “Kit?” Watch [...]
Thank You for Not Smoking Lip Balm
Smoking lip balm doesn’t make you glamorous. It doesn’t earn you the respect of your peers, whether they’re in the chess club or on the lacrosse team. I don’t care if all the cool kids are doing it behind the gymnasium after school. Your lungs aren’t in more danger of being chapped than your lips, [...]
How Come We Have Bullies, but No Cowies?
In the past, we’ve discussed how to deal with bullies — but we’ve never touched on the idea of cowies. Is the word bully, itself, a bully for being sexist? Gnomies, by definition, are beyond sexism, bullying, or… cowying. We’re just a more advanced species. We love everyone and everything good in the world, and [...]
A Life Lived in Snippets
A viewer recently wrote to us and expressed the concern that we’re not sharing enough of our lives in these daily vlogs. That, in fact, we’re just showing little snippets at the sacrifice of the big picture. But what if the snippets are the big picture? That’s how Billy Pilgrim in Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five rolled, and [...]
The Extra Lives of the Pacific Northwestern Millipede
Minute rice or maggot rice? Fiber or flavor? ’70s or ’80s? Hot wings or hot tongues? Spiders or millipedes? TIE fighters or Thai fighters? TIE fighters aren’t quite the same thing as Thai fighters, I came to discover. One thing they’ve got in common: I try not to tangle with either of ‘em. Good thing [...]
Maybe the Stormtroopers Ate Your Dingo?
I caught Wicket Googling Lassie when he thought I was out of the house. Dirty dog! Disgraceful pooch! Kids these days! I guess they’re pretty much like kids from other days, but they’ve got the power of technology on their side… Which really just makes the teenage version of me jealous. Backing up data goes [...]
We Are All Made of Star Wars
Happy birthday, Star Wars! As they say: “May the 4th (get it?) be with you!” Yep. 35 years ago, the original Star Wars movie premiered and changed the face of science fiction forever. I’ve made it pretty clear on many occasions that I wasn’t too impressed with the prequel trilogy, but the first three movies [...]
Are Sports Viruses?
I don’t really care for sports or viruses. Flying pucks and balls tend to break my glasses, and viruses break my computer — or would, if I let ‘em through. Do you use free or paid anti-virus software on your computer? Are you Machiavellian in your day-to-day actions? Do you use the free GIMP instead [...]
Uncle Hector’s UFO Report
In Seattle, we get a lot of rain. And with that rain, we get clouds. Usually, the sky is just a ceiling of grey with a little sprinkle here and there to remind us of what people in more moisture-deprived parts of the world are missing out on. Every now and again, though, there’s a [...]
YouTube Made Me Naked
The show must go on — even if I may have to “show” a little more skin to bring in the ratings. In spite of some people urging me to keep my clothes on during today’s nearly botched TLDR, YouTube made me get naked. I didn’t want to do it, but what choice did I [...]
