So who would win in a fight between Tagg Romney and Paul Ryan?

Confidential to Mitt Romney

Incessantly reminding people you don't drink isn't the best way to win the Catholic vote.

Grand Old Police Blotter: It's Not Okay If You're A Republican Edition

Remember those stories from earlier this year concerning sexual assaults at Occupy encampments?  Sure you do, because the SCLM loved to highlight them, and half-witted bloggers loved to link to them, and all of them loved to downplay the fact that the victims were activists and the assailants weren't.

Remember hearing about this story?  Of course you don't.

A Utah County man charged with raping five women will remain in jail with bail set at $2 million after a judge denied a defense motion to reduce the amount.... 

Peterson faces kidnapping and rape charges in Salt Lake and Wasatch counties.

Peterson is well known in Utah Republican circles, and has hosted political events at a cabin in Heber, where prosecutors say some of the sexual assaults occurred. Peterson met all four women because of his membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, according to testimony.

Here's the background:

Gregory Nathan Peterson has hobnobbed with the likes of Sens. Orrin Hatch and Mike Lee, Gov. Gary Herbert, U.S. Rep. Jason Chaffetz, and candidates such as 4th District congressional contender Mia Love.

Peterson was charged Wednesday in 3rd District Court in Salt Lake City with 23 felony counts, including rape and kidnapping, and two misdemeanors. A jail log indicates U.S. marshals arrested Peterson in his cabin in Heber and booked him into the Salt Lake County jail. He remained there Thursday in lieu of $750,000 bail.

Charging documents allege sexual assaults against four women Peterson met in Salt Lake County beginning March 26, 2011 [through April 21, 2012]. In the first case, the documents allege, he met a woman at a church function and she agreed to go to a movie with him.

But instead of going to a theater, the documents allege, Peterson told the woman he had a gun and took her to his five-bedroom, five-bathroom, 3,000-square-foot cabin in Heber where he has hosted annual Republican barbecues and gatherings. The documents allege he sexually assaulted the woman and hit her when she did not do as he wished. Peterson drove the woman back to her vehicle the next morning.
...

Peterson is charged with two counts of aggravated kidnapping, three counts of rape, seven counts of object rape, and one count of forcible sexual abuse, all first-degree felonies; nine second-degree felony counts of forcible sexual abuse; one third-degree felony count of burglary. He also is charged with one count each of assault and sexual battery, both misdemeanors.
...

Peterson is a certified financial planner and the owner of two Orem-based companies — Peterson Wealth Management and [deleted], an online trading website. He holds an MBA in finance and entrepreneurship from Brigham Young University.

The Peterson charges and arrest were covered by Utah news outlets and at Talking Points Memo, but almost nowhere else. None of the sniggering fools who yukked it up about assaults at Occupy encampments saw fit to discuss Mr. Peterson's conduct (at least publicly).

According to this article, Peterson was a wingnut blogger, although not one of the more notorious ones.

The profile in cowardice award in this matter goes to U.S. Representative Jason Chaffetz, who couldn't be bothered:

Chaffetz said there was a rumor circulating about inappropriate behavior involving Peterson a few months ago, "but there was nothing ever of any substance ... just pure gossip, and now I’m reading about it in the newspaper."

"It's sad," Chaffetz said. "I worry about these women. We have an obligation to take care of them. That should be priority one."

Chaffetz is quoted as saying this on July 19, 2012, less than a "few months" after the April 21, 2012 assault. But, no, Chaffetz couldn't have possibly used his authority as a leader of the Utah Republican Party to do anything about a lesser Party leader whose sexual abuse was the subject of gossip in his G.O.P. set.  It's much easier to shed tears after it's too fucking late.

That Was the Week That Was

If this pans out the way I suspect it will, Megan McArdle will soon be back to the highest and best use of her talents -- as a filing clerk for a construction company:

Newsweek, the weekly magazine that for decades summarized the news for households across the United States but struggled to maintain relevance in the Internet era, announced on Thursday that it would cease print publication at the end of the year.

Tina Brown, founder of the Daily Beast Web site and the driving force behind its merger with Newsweek, announced the move on Thursday in a message on the Daily Beast.

“We are announcing this morning an important development at Newsweek and The Daily Beast. Newsweek will transition to an all-digital format in early 2013. As part of this transition, the last print edition in the United States will be our Dec. 31 issue,” Ms. Brown said in a message co-written with Baba Shetty, the recently hired chief executive.

...

“Regrettably we anticipate staff reductions and the streamlining of our editorial and business operations both here in the U.S. and internationally,” Ms. Brown wrote.

If Newsweak operates on the principle of least qualified, first fired -- and that's far from clear -- Ms. McArdle is being escorted from the building right about now.

Parsin' Weens

Dinesh D'Souza cannot tell a lie ... very well:

On Wednesday, D’Souza blasted the World story, calling the quote confirming the night in the hotel room a fabrication. “I clearly told McFarland that Denise and I stayed in separate rooms,” D’Souza wrote on the website of Fox News. “I’m not sure whether McFarland is lying or Smith is lying, but one of them made up the quotation attributed to me that we stayed in the same room but ‘nothing happened.’ This is pure libel.” In the Fox News column, D’Souza categorically denied having sex with Joseph, and claimed he only met her three months ago. But when asked directly if he was having an affair by Christianity Today’s Melissa Steffan, he turned evasive. “It's absolutely not the case, um, that, um, that, um, um, you know, it's.... Look, the issue here is that World is attributing to me an admission that I never made—is attributing to me a quotation that I never said.”

Given all his practice lying about President Obama, you'd think he could do better than that.

Actually, the foregoing summary is wrong on one important point. Over at  FOXNews.con, Douchesouza never actually says he never had sex with Joseph; he denies an "affair." It's time to confront Douche with Deposition Exhibit 1 from Jones v. Clinton.

End The Fed

Terrorist or the one person who takes Ron Paul seriously?

Federal prosecutors in Brooklyn charged a 21-year-old Bangladeshi man with conspiring to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, saying he tried to remotely detonate what he believed was a 1,000-pound bomb in a van he parked outside the building in Lower Manhattan on Wednesday.

But the entire plot played out under the surveillance of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the New York Police Department as part of an elaborate sting operation, according to court papers.

I pray that the Obama Administration called this a terrory act of terrorizing terrorism at least 10 times in the first fifteen minutes.

God And Man At Riverdale

While I was visiting the sick'n'twisted world of Douche D'Souza, I learned that he has a daughter, aged 16 or 17. I also learned that his daughter has a book promoting Christianity to "millennials" coming out in November, with a foreward by Daddy Douche. I learned from that amazon.com's handy "Look Inside" feature that the book condemns (or says that G_d condemns) divorce, except in cases of marital infidelity.

Since Douche's daughter is not an adult, I'm not going to discuss her, even though she's got a publicist and a YouTube video promoting her book and I'd bet my left nut that the book has a ghostwriter and/or a team of editors behind it. It's certainly not her fault that her old man's a dick, or that she appears to share some of his dickish opinions.

I will note that the daughter attends a Episcopal school with a substantially more progressive world view than The King's College (and higher academic standards, most likely) and its randy president. On a page quoting bell hooks and James Baldwin, the school describes itself as

promot[ing] an inclusive and compassionate community of students, faculty, staff, administrators, parents, trustees, and alumni. We honor and embrace diverse identities such as age, culture, ethnicity, family structure, gender and gender identity, group affiliation, national origin, physical and mental ability, race, religion, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status. Because diversity enriches the exchange of ideas, we foster a physically and emotionally safe environment in which different experiences, thoughts, and opinions are respectfully expressed and respectfully heard. Such an environment allows every individual to thrive in and contribute to our global community.

In other words, the school stands or claims to stand for everything that Douche stands or claims to stand against, because that shit is destroying Western Civilization.

But I'm not surprised Douche sent his child there.  Homeschooling cuts deeply into his afternoon's slap'n'tickle sessions with the far-right fans.

Pussy Riot II: They Waaaahhhhhh Candy

Since Mitt Romney threw the anti-contraceptive crowd under the bus last night, and generally embarassed himself, the wingnuts have no where to go but bashing the debate moderator for telling the truth.

 Who are you going believe, the President or a bunch of lying Teabaggers?



The full transcript is here.

If the Breitbart/Newsbusters crowd had any integrity or brains, they'd utilize the former to blow out the latter.

Losing His Religion

One final post, in which Dinesh D'Souza throws G-d under the bus for some wingnut tenderoni:

If you really look at the motivations of contemporary atheists, you'll find that they don't even really reject Christian theology. It's not as if the atheist objects to the resurrection or the parting of the sea; rather, it is Christian morality to which atheists object, particularly Christian moral prohibitions in the area of sex. The atheist looks at all of Christianity's "thou shalt nots" -- homosexuality is bad; divorce is bad; adultery is bad; premarital sex is bad -- and then looks at his own life and says, "If these things are really bad, then I'm a bad guy. But I'm not a bad guy; I'm a great guy. I must thus reinterpret or (preferably) abolish all of these accusatory teachings that are putting me in a bad light."

I'm pretty certain atheists reject the resurrection of Christ and the parting of the Red Sea, and I'm pretty certain Christians consider moral prohibitions part of their theology.

I have no doubt in my mind that Marcia Segelstein -- who claims that D'Souza writes "with cocksure prose that only a thinker at the top of his game could muster" -- is a complete fucking moron.

Douche As I Say

It's midterm, and King's Clown College is rotting from the head:

The King’s College promotes a lifestyle consistent with biblical teaching: sexual intercourse is a gift from God to be enjoyed within a married, monogamous, heterosexual relationship. With the exception of married students, sexual intercourse is not allowed on The King’s College campus or student housing, including its common areas (e.g., balconies, stairwells).

Allowing married students to fuck on balconies and in stairwells actually seems pretty progressive.

I 'spect Dinesh D'Souza likes to watch.

Republican Family Values: Sweatin' to the Odies Edition

When is it proper for one wingnut to dump a wingnut spouse for a third wingnut? When wingnut one is a dude and the other two wingnuts are women.

Even though it's not yet legal in California, gay marriage has destroyed another happy home.

Douchebag D'Souza has driven old Dixie down to the used wingnut lot, and traded her in for a much younger model named after Garfield's dog.

Ms. Odie Joseph is a self-proclaimed fan of "put a ring on it." Douche, take my advice and get a pre-nup.

Apparently Douche was looking for someone more his daughter's age:

[Douchesouza] met his blond, Protestant wife, Dixie, in 1988, when he was a senior domestic-policy analyst at the Reagan White House. She was a researcher for the Republican Party. They live in a north Virginia suburb with their 9-month- old daughter, Danielle.

Dixie D'Souza, who was born in Louisiana and raised in Southern California, calls her husband "a wonderful father . . . very much a hands-on dad . . . always there doing his duty, doing the diaper changes."

When she calls his small office at the American Enterprise Institute, where D'Souza is a research fellow, the writer stops everything, answering the phone with an Ozzie Nelsonish "Hello, Huneeeeeeee."

And soooooooo long, sucker!

The future ex-Mrs. D'Souza is prone to deep thoughts such as the following, which will have John Bolton and the Podhoretzes sending their RSVP regrets:

And to Israel and Iran, I’m sending you this message. This conservative American loves you and is so proud of you. I love the simple words you are using to convey your undeniable humanity. I don’t want my country to ever bomb your countries and I don’t want for you ever to bomb each other. Israeli and Iranian cultures are ancient, rich, and complimentary. Your lands are historic, your people beautiful, brilliant, and deeply spiritual. Finally, from the bottom of my heart, thank you Mr. Edry, for the encouragement you’ve unknowingly provided me!

She's also a Randian, or at least she likes posing with terrible literature.

Sadly, Odie Joseph's blog is undergoing maintenance.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Every GOP Is A Criminal Edition

I can't seem to recall any pseudo-libertarian Teabaggers complaining about Nanny Bloomberg when he actually violated civil liberties, and pissed on the Constitution, rather than simply trying to Coke-block their corpulent pie holes.

A federal judge has ruled that the New York Police Department illegally arrested large numbers of demonstrators at a protest in Lower Manhattan during the 2004 Republican National Convention. But the judge upheld aspects of how the city had handled the protesters’ arrests.

A judge said the city did not have probable cause to arrest more than 200 antiwar demonstrators in Lower Manhattan on Aug. 31, 2004.

The judge, Richard J. Sullivan of Federal District Court, said that the city had lacked the required probable cause because the police were unaware of whether each individual protester had broken the law.

“An individual’s participation in a lawbreaking group may, in appropriate circumstances, be strong circumstantial evidence of that individual’s own illegal conduct,” the judge wrote in a 32-page opinion. “But, no matter the circumstances,” he added, “an arresting officer must believe that every individual arrested personally violated the law. Nothing short of such a finding can justify arrest. The Fourth Amendment does not recognize guilt by association.”

Ironically, Sullivan was appointed by W. Bush in Bush's sescond term, the one facilitated in some measure by the thuggery of the NYPD and then-Republican Mayor Mike. Sullivan filled the seat vacated by that noted destroyer of civil liberties, Mike Mukasey.

If anyone can point me to a blogpost from Instacracker decrying these arrests when they occurred, or even linking to an article about Sullivan's recent ruling, I'll donate 50 USD to the ACLU.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long Island Iced Teabags Edition

A respectful Republican makes an appearance at an Iowan P.F. Chang's, explains the IOKIYAR principle to law enforcement officials:

Officer Chris Morgan said in his report that when he arrived, [Charlene Idelle Hunziker, 47, of Council Bluffs] reportedly yelled at him and said he didn’t need to be there because "she was a Republican."

Hunziker reportedly refused a sobriety test and admitted to having consumed alcohol, but insisted she was not drunk, according to the report.

A witness reportedly told Morgan that Hunziker was drunk and had been bothering other customers with her opinions about the previous night’s presidential debate, her support for Romney and her belief that “Obama had ruined this country and ... Muslims were causing America all these problems.”

The woman’s daughter proclaimed her mother "an embarrassment" and walked out of the restaurant, the witness said. When restaurant employees asked Hunziker to leave, she "got in the employees’ face and told them that she had rights and was refusing to leave."

After the woman told Morgan she was a Republican, he told her that he couldn't just leave – a statement she reportedly argued, according to the officer’s narrative of the encounter. The report said Hunziker kicked, screamed and struggled as Morgan and a backup officer tried to handcuff her and place her in the squad car.

These events reportedly unfolded at 3:45 p.m. on a Friday.

Before anyone suggests anything improper, I'm told Ann Althouse has an alibi. And hasn't seen her 40s in a dog's age.

Link via Wonkette

Hack to the Future

Following last night's debate, David Brooks phones in the kind of insight that we've come to expect from him:

Correction: October 12, 2012

An earlier version of this article gave an incorrect surname for the "Family Ties" character played by Michael J. Fox. The character was Alex Keaton, not Keating.

If I remember more correctly than BoBo, Alex Keaton was humorless prick who lived with his parents well into his twenties and attended college but never created -- or held -- a job.

BoBo's thinking of the convicted bankster who would have bought Paul Ryan in the 80s if Ryan was 30 years older.

Confidential to the New York Times: I've got 750 words on Mitt Romney as Leland Palmer. E-mail me for the details on where to send payment.

Ryan's Mope

I expect that Congressman Ryan was talking about Durex.

Makes more sense than what he actually said.

Pussy Riot

Joe Biden has been just beastly to that nice young bodybuilder.

Even as the CBS flash poll declared Smokin' Joe the victor, and even as even the squirrel pelt on Frank Luntz's dome called the debate a draw, Sean Hannity lay back on his fainting couch and soaked his lace hankie over the death of civility.

The Joementum is unstoppable.

Tin/Aluminium

For those of you keeping track, the 10th anniversary of Roger Ailes, the blog, falls later this month. Only sixteen more shopping days 'til Rogermas.

Here're some helpful hints for those wishing to show Roger just how much you treasure it/him:

Traditional Gestures

Tradition dictates that you give tin on this anniversary, which can be a lofty goal in modern times. A common substitute is pewter or aluminum. Aluminum roses are both decorative and appropriate for the theme, and are available both artificially colored and plain. For men that don't particularly care for metal flowers, opt for something more practical, like a pewter picture frame, or something decorative, like a metal statuette.

Creative Spins

Think outside the box with a creative take on tradition. Some everyday items are made of, or at least contain, aluminum---including things that your husband may appreciate. Beer cans, for example, are made of aluminum; a generous supply of his favorite brew could be a welcome surprise. [ed. note -- or trigger an unwelcome relapse]  Accessories like sunglasses, fishing gear or even electronic gadgets can fit the bill as well. Other gifts may not be made primarily of aluminum or tin, but contain them. Special anniversary editions of popular gifts like barbecue kits and poker sets are made with this specific occasion in mind, and are made with just enough of the appropriate metals to make them fitting for the day.

Modern Alternatives

Another modern---albeit more expensive---alternative to tin is diamonds, which open up your options considerably. Many men's accessories are designed with diamonds. Cufflinks, watches, rings or earrings are stylish additions to a modern man's wardrobe.

Just remember, as in voting and emergency resuscitation, it's not the thought that counts.

Corporations Are People, My Friend

Libertarianism explained, in four paragraphs:

But Mr. Aglialoro, chief executive of exercise-equipment maker Cybex International and a longtime disciple of "Atlas Shrugged" author Ayn Rand, thinks the timing is right [for "Atlas Shrugged, Part II"].

...

"Part II" faced a new setback when Cybex lost a liability lawsuit in 2010 alleging that one of its weight machines had tipped over on a woman, leaving her paralyzed.

"I feel so sorry for her," Mr. Aglialoro says. "She jumped up on there and pulled the machine back on herself while she was stretching." The parties settled for $19.5 million in February. Cybex stock dropped so low the company faced delisting.

"The lawsuit was crippling," Mr. Aglialoro says.

From the NYT.com "Recommended for You" box:

1. Irving Adler, Author of Science and Math Books for the Young, Dies at 99

2. Billy Barnes Dies at 85; Helped Revive Revues

3. Chris Economaki, Rumbling Voice of Auto Racing, Dies at 91

4. Herbert Lom, Frustrated Boss of Inspector Clouseau, Dies at 95

5. Robert Newton, Maker of Racing Tires, Dies at 85

6. Maurice H. Keen Dies at 78; Redefined Chivalry

7. Dr. Griffith Edwards, Addiction Specialist, Dies at 83

8. John Silber Dies at 86; Led Boston University

9. ORDINARY PEOPLE A Life Distinguished by Enthusiasm, Not Disability

10. TEXAS MONTHLY GTT

Suddenly, I'm not feeling so well.