労働's 最新の 試みる／企てる to paper over the 割れ目s of a bitter 競争

負かす／撃墜する by old Billingsgate on East London's Thames quayside, where eels and fresh-caught coley were once 荷を降ろすd by the トン, we yesterday had another 負担 of stinking cod. Gordon Brown and Alan Milburn were pretending to be friends.

The event was the 明かすing of three 選挙 posters for the 労働 Party. 非公式に, it was a morning photo 適切な時期 to 描写する the （ドイツなどの）首相／（大学の）学長 as pally with his main 競争相手 to 後継する Tony Blair. Ten minutes of 偽の smiles and ぎこちない 団体／死体 language and they 推定する／予想する us to buy a 嘘（をつく）.

The party 手配中の，お尋ね者 a pictures-only show. A sweaty little 労働 functionary, 指名する of McMenamin with a high-pitched Ulster accent and scurvy manner, told me はっきりと beforehand that I was on no account to …に出席する.

"This is going to be a serious event," he squeaked. "We don't want sketchwriters." 自然に I ignored him. With the BBC running the event at the 最高の，を越す of its news 公式発表s, a 競争の激しい （人が）群がる of lensmen had 組み立てる／集結するd and were soon knocking one another off their step-ladders.

A stiff 微風 whipped up licks of froth on the 冷淡な, grey river. Gulls cawed. John Prescott, scowling like a burnt saucepan, arrived in a Jaguar with flashing lights and police outriders. Gordon Brown was more 抑制するd in his conveyance - a red Vauxhall. I did not see how Mr Milburn travelled but it may have been a sports car with an open 最高の，を越す. His hairdo 示唆するd this. It was 不正に out of 支配（する）／統制する, the 後部 starting to 似ている a 1980s 'mullet'.

But shame on me for failing to take this event 本気で, as Comrade McMenamin had 需要・要求するd. So what happened? 井戸／弁護士席, a pop tune called Green Onions started to play and a 1960s Volkswagen camper 先頭 荷を降ろすd six actors.

Two were dressed as Regency characters, two were 1960s 幻覚的な groovers, two were 1970s glam rockers. This was all because 労働 was trying to say that its 扱うing of さまざまな bits of the economy was better than at any time since those 時代s. If this was a serious event I a m a headless haddock.

The 先頭, covered in Sergeant Pepper-style words about mortgage 率s, was reminiscent of a 教団 （土地などの）細長い一片 風刺漫画 some of you may 解任する, the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. It, too, starred three crazy-注目する，もくろむd dopeheads who kept 表明するing their 解放する／自由な love to one and all.

Once the music stopped, Messrs Brown, Milburn and Prescott swaggered into 見解（をとる）. Mr Milburn was dressed in a shiny, Italianate 控訴 and, once again, was thrusting his pelvis to the 前線. It is the gait of a limbo ダンサー in the 早期に 行う／開催する／段階s of his 降下／家系.

First words went to Mr Milburn, who seemed ill at 緩和する and fluffed some of his lines (he spoke of the '告訴する-mani' instead of the '津波'). During these 発言／述べるs Mr Brown bit hard on his lower lip and gazed into the distance. The （ドイツなどの）首相／（大学の）学長's jacket did not seem to be a very good fit and he looked 冷淡な. He held his wrists behind his 支援する for so long that I started to wonder if he had been 手錠d.

"We're 支援する on the （選挙などの）運動をする 追跡する," cried Mr Prescott. Oh? Really? Has the 総理大臣 現実に 発表するd the 選挙?

Only に向かって the end of the stunt did Mr Brown seem to remember that he was meant to be Mr Milburn's best new friend. He started to make a vague 成果／努力 to look 利益／興味d. Click, click, click, went the snappers' レンズs. Mouth muscles grabbed 持つ／拘留する of 気が進まない flesh and smiles creaked on to political 直面するs. No one much bothered to look at the posters. We were all too fascinated by the stiff gestures and 極小の warmth of these two bitter 競争相手s.

Then, after a few minutes, party apparatchiks tried to の近くに the event. Mr Brown ignored them. He peeled away from Mr Milburn and gave an impromptu 圧力（をかける） 会議／協議会. Mayhem. Much of it was inaudible for the cries of "do you 不信 Tony Blair?" and "did the 総理大臣 嘘（をつく） to you, （ドイツなどの）首相／（大学の）学長?" At one point he said "絶対". I think that was in answer to a different question - but I'm not 完全に sure.