Ay-oop lass, this film is as 偽の as your accent

By Jan Moir for the Daily Mail
Updated: 01:30 BST, 23 August 2011

The ヘロイン of David Nicholls’s best-selling novel One Day is a no-nonsense Yorkshire lass called Emma Morley. Emma is a swot who gets a 二塁打 First at Edinburgh University and speaks with an ay-oop accent.

She has terrible hair, which she 削減（する）s herself because her mind is on higher things. She thinks that bothering to look nice is just ‘silly trivia’. She wears Doc Martens and 会談 about the 鉱夫s a lot. She is a 賞与金-grade dork.

Attractive, Emma is not. As 述べるd in the 2009 novel ― as the millions who have read the much-loved 調書をとる／予約する know ― Emma’s 肌 has a pallid puffiness that speaks of too much time in libraries and of drinking pints in pubs.

運動ing 行方不明になる Dizzy: Jim Sturgess as Dexter Mayhew and Anne Hathaway as Emma Morley in the film One Day

Her spectacles are owlish, her 直面する is plump, she has a 刈る of red 位置／汚点／見つけ出すs and a chipped 前線 tooth. She is no oil 絵, unless you count the oil that seeps from her greasy 肌 to form fresh 刈るs of pimples.

Ugh, what a 権利-on mess she sounds. What a frump, an unattractive lump. So in a film of the 調書をとる／予約する, who would you cast to start as this geeky, spotty, mouldy, Northern, frizzy-haired horror?

Fizz from 載冠（式）／即位（式） Street? Nobby Stiles? Gracie Fields? Think again, film fans! For in the 高度に-心配するd film 見解／翻訳／版 of One Day, which goes on general 解放（する） tomorrow, it is American actress and superstar Anne Hathaway who 星／主役にするs as geeky Emma.

Yes, that Anne Hathaway, the 減少（する）-dead gorgeous 星／主役にする of The Devil Wears Prada and Rachel Getting Married. The one with the saucer-sized Malteser 注目する，もくろむs and smile that goes all t-t-trembly and 攻撃を受けやすい, making her look like a Shetland pony with a thorn stuck in its hoof. A smile that makes strong men go weak at the 膝s and weak men feel strong.

Mexican wave: Even in ridiculous get-up, there is no 否定するing Anne Hathaway's beauty on 審査する

It is no exaggeration, 絶対 非，不，無, to say that Anne is one of the most gorgeous creatures in Hollywood.

She’s up there with Charlize and Julia and Angelina. Her 肌 gleams like 霜d cream, she has sooty eyelashes and a 宙返り／暴落する of perfect raven hair.

She has also got long 脚s, a smoking bod, lips like a bruised strawberry and those 抱擁する, stonking, white tombstone Hollywood teeth that you just know take a 広大な／多数の／重要な, big, carb-解放する／自由な bite out of life every 選び出す／独身 day.

In her many fi lms to date, Hathaway has 証明するd she can do ingenue, she can do sharp businesswoman, she can even do Jane Austen. The question is, can she do 物陰／風下d 少しのd?

And the answer, I would 投機・賭ける after seeing the film this week, is a resounding no. No, no and no again.

She neither looks nor sounds like the Emma 描写するd in the 調書をとる／予約する. And, more important, she’s about as frumpy and? ee-bah-gum as Beyonce. I know we are in the realms of fantasy here, I know we have to 一時停止する 不信 and go with the flow, but sticking Anne Hathaway under a greasy wig and plonking a pair of milk 瓶／封じ込める specs on her perfect retrouss? nose does not a geek make.

Poetic licence: In David Nicholls' 調書をとる／予約する One Day, the character of Emma Morley thinks looking nice is 'silly trivia'

In fact, it is an 侮辱 to geeks everywhere even to try. Listen to me carefully. It does us Plain Janes and incontrovertible she-nerds a terrible disservice to have this silky glamazon of wanton loveliness pop on a bobbled cardigan and pretend to be one of us.

It’s not fair! It just won’t wash, Anne, and I’m not talking about your heroically 恐ろしい 偽の fringe and your habit of wearing cotton ankle socks with flat shoes in this film in a pathetic 企て，努力，提案 to be unattractive.

Even from here I can see that your gorgeous Hollywood 脚s are shaved, トンd and golden in the all-important above-sock area. So that doesn’t count.

And in some of the earlier scenes, where Emma/Anne is supposed to be at her most 肉体的に grotty, the desperate One Day make-up department has even given her the 肉親，親類d of red nose that would give Rudolph a gallop for his money.

That doesn’t work either. It’s like pinning a rosette on the Mona Lisa. It doesn’t make her look bad, just a little bit silly.

Just like nothing can 偽装する Hathaway’s incandescent beauty in One Day, nothing can hide the awfulness of her 偽の Yorkshire accent.

Really, it is やめる something to behold. For it is a nomadic accent ― it was born under a wandering 星／主役にする. It’s all over the shop.

Best-販売人: One Day by David Nicholls has become a 教団 classic

In an interview with Hello! magazine this week, Hathaway said that she worked with a dialect coach for eight hours a day for six whole weeks to try to get the accent 権利. Perhaps she should have tried harder. Trying to be Yorkshire isn’t 平易な.

In truth, it is not as bad as 刑事 先頭 Dyke’s famously bad Cockernee accent in Mary? Poppins ― but it’s not far off it. There are moments when it seems to 逮捕（する） some shadowy echo of Jimmy Savile and downtown 物陰／風下d but then it’s off, roaring past Manchester en 大勝する to London, stopping off somewhere in posh Chelsea, before taking a detour to Stockholm and then straight 支援する to the Dales.

‘You with your honeyed words,’ Emma/Anne says at one point, sounding 正確に／まさに like Ena Sharples ordering some fancy cakes in the corner shop. The next minute, she sounds like the Duchess of Cambridge taking breathy delight in a 飛行機で行く-past at the Palace. Oh, very bay window, as Ena would say.

To be 絶対 fair to Hathaway, on page 277 of the novel a character called Miffy does point out that Emma used to have a ‘really strong’ Northern accent, but now ‘just 会談 like everybody else’.

However, it does make one wonder why director 孤独な Scherfig didn’t just drench some gritty British actress with the frump 靴下／だます and get stuck in.

For at the end of the day, authenticity is all. Not since Renee Zellweger first climbed into Bridget Jones’ big pants has an American actress snatched a true Brit 役割 from under the noses of our finest actresses. Perhaps they should be glad ― for One Day is not a 抱擁する success.

The story begins in Edinburgh, on St Swithin’s day in 1988. Emma and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) 結局最後にはーなる in bed together on 卒業 day, although they do not become lovers.

He is a posh boy, way out of her grubby league. She is a frump, remember, but supposed to be witty and warm.

True romance is not on the cards that day, but the film ― just like the 調書をとる／予約する ― chronicles their friendship over the next 20 years, 選ぶing up the 活動／戦闘 on the same day in July every year.

As their lives spool out over the １０年間s, they are buffeted by life and its 失望s.

Yes, I did blub most of the way through ― but that’s because I am a sucker for heart-rending rom-coms, even 欠陥d ones like this.

One Day certainly has its 影響する／感情ing moments. However, David Nicholls himself adapted the screenplay, but fails to 逮捕（する） must of the texture and sweetness of his novel.

It’s become the paperback sensation of the summer. But how many of the thousands who read it on the beach or by the pool this month will be disappointed when they 急ぐ to the cinema this 週末 to see it on the big 審査する?

In the 調書をとる／予約する, you are swept into a world where the smell of soap 砕く ぐずぐず残るs on cheap sheets and into London flats that reek of fried onions and 失望.

Emma has a 確かな 肉親，親類d of witty, warm British snap that Hathaway just cannot 逮捕（する）.

And do you know something? She’s just too damn pretty その上.

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