CRAIG BROWN: Please keep 静かな, you're annoying me!

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One of the many irritations of modern life comes when someone with a clipboard collars you in the street and asks you to 参加する a 調査する.

Lucky, then, that I don’t live in Canada, where a clipboarder lurks around every corner.

A 最近の 調査する, 行為／行うd by the University of British Columbia, 伴う／関わるd asking 4,100 adults the same question: ‘Do you ever have strong 消極的な feelings, thoughts or physical reactions when seeing or 見解（をとる）ing other people’s fidgeting or repetitive movements (e.g., seeing someone’s foot shaking, fingers （電話線からの）盗聴 or gum-chewing)?’

If they’d asked me, I would have replied ‘Yes, 明白に! And stop giving me such strong 消極的な feelings by asking me such annoying questions!’

Oddly enough, only a third of the Canadians questioned 認める to irritation. This 示唆するs to me that the remaining two-thirds were either a) Zen Buddhists or b) fibbers.

In places that are meant to be silent, such as churches or theatres, I 苦しむ an attack of misophonia the moment people nearby start whispering to one another under the mistaken belief that it’s いっそう少なく intrusive (在庫／株 image)

It was 安心させるing to discover that the 残り／休憩（する） of us are 苦しむing from a 条件. Far from just 存在 crabby old curmudgeons, we are members of the community of those who を煩う misokinesia, or a strong 消極的な 返答 to the sight of another person’s small and repetitive movements. 本人自身で, I am irritated by 事実上 any movement, anywhere, at any time.

On the tennis 法廷，裁判所, it annoys me when 対抗者s 繰り返して bounce the ball up and 負かす／撃墜する before serving.

Why do they do that? No one has ever 申し込む／申し出d me a 満足な explanation. Perhaps it is 純粋に to distract their 対抗者s with irritation. And when younger players 勝利，勝つ a point, they feel 強いるd to 成し遂げる the Andy Murray 握りこぶし-pump, …を伴ってd by an open-mouthed grimace and a jubilant ‘Yessss!’.

In the cinema, I am irritated by fellow テレビ視聴者s who 主張する on popping a peanut or piece of popcorn into their mouths every 30 seconds, and repeat this 活動／戦闘 until the の近くにing credits.

At home, I 苦しむ extreme 一区切り／（ボクシングなどの）試合s of misokinesia when friends 派手に宣伝する their fingers or ― worse ― click their knuckles; when they jiggle their 脚s up and 負かす／撃墜する and/or jangle the loose change in their pockets; when they make an ‘ahhh’ or ‘oof’ sound as they sit 負かす／撃墜する; when they smack their lips when a hot meal is placed in 前線 of them; when they lick their forefinger before turning a page of a 調書をとる／予約する or a newspaper; when they 反応する with 広大な／多数の／重要な 渦巻くing arm movements and Munch-style panicky facial 表現s at the sight of a wasp; when they 匂いをかぐ or sigh or make clicky noises; and when they leave a tap dripping.

Here we touch on the 関係のある 条件 of misophonia, or irritation with noise. I bristle at the sound ― pfffff! pff ff! ― of someone blowing on a hot drink, or ― bl-bl-bl-bl! ― sucking through a paper straw for the last dregs of liquid in a glass.

In places that are meant to be silent, such as churches or theatres, I 苦しむ an attack of misophonia the moment people nearby start whispering to one another under the mistaken belief that it’s いっそう少なく intrusive. They don’t seem to realise that it is more annoying to whisper than to talk out loud, because a whisper half-heard from a few yards away ― psspsspss! psspsspsss! ― is sound 奪うd of sense.

On the tennis 法廷，裁判所, it annoys me when 対抗者s 繰り返して bounce the ball up and 負かす／撃墜する before serving. Why do they do that? No one has ever 申し込む／申し出d me a 満足な explanation

In the ‘静かな carriage’ of a train, I am irritated by noisy remin- ders over the intercom that this is a 静かな carriage, not to について言及する the teeth-粉々にするing annoyance of the incessant ‘See it, Say it, Sorted’ 告示s.

I once lived in a house surrounded by fields.

You would have thought 外部の irritations would be at a 最小限, 特に in the summer.

But ― hoot! bang! ― far from it. At 正規の／正選手 intervals ― hoot! bang! ― an (a)自動的な／(n)自動拳銃 bird-scarer would go off ― hoot! bang! ― and any idea of 田舎の 静める ― hoot! bang! would shoot out the window.

Every irritable person is, of course, an irritant to someone else. Life on earth would be unendurable if we were not deaf and blind to our own capacity to irritate.

I keep my spectacles perched on my forehead, yet despise others who do the same. I bristle at those who sing a few 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業s from an old pop song, out of tune, over and over again, yet every day I do the same thing myself, for hours on end.

There’s only one 解答: I must 飛行機で行く to Canada, where the 国民s are so 平易な-going, and my high-pitched renditions of ‘Yellow 潜水艦’ are bound to be 迎える／歓迎するd with joy, not least by all those eager 研究員s with their clipboards.