EXCLUSIVE'I （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 my 手足を不自由にする／（物事を）損なうing panic attacks by （電話線からの）盗聴 into the 知恵 of our 石／投石する Age ancestors - and you can too.' David Cameron's speech writer CLARE FOGES 明らかにする／漏らすs how she （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域s her self-疑問 and 苦悩

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Clare 霧s used to be 長，指導者 speech-writer for 首相 David Cameron but today she is 吸収するd in the 乳の bliss of motherhood.

Her fourth child, five-month-old daughter Romy, dozes and 料金d 断続的に while Clare, 43, cuddles her. Romy does not cry for the duration of our 雑談（する）. I forget she is even there.

This is a first for me: a contented breast-feeding baby and an interview with a mum 同時に so relaxed and engaged that she is able to talk intelligently and soothe her child at the same time.

All the more surprising, though, is the fact that a １０年間 ago Clare, having reached the pinnacle of her 負かす／撃墜するing Street career, was 包囲するd by self-疑問 and 苦悩. One panic attack was so debilitating it left her gasping for 空気／公表する.

It was the 2013 Tory Party 会議／協議会 and PM Cameron was 均衡を保った to 配達する his 基本方針 の近くにing speech in Manchester. Clare ― who had written every word of the 演説（する）／住所, perfecting each nuance and inflection of meaning during the previous months ― fled the hall, propelled by blind terror.

'As the 首相 took to the 行う／開催する／段階 I felt the lights start to dance, the oxygen leave the room. I couldn't breathe. I felt awful. I could not 耐える the pr essing in of 直面するs all around me. The words were nearly always 祝賀の but it was all too much.

'I said, 'Excuse me, excuse me . . .', and つまずくd along the 列／漕ぐ／騒動, 押し進めるing past 安全, 押すing the 出口 doors, running past the hundreds still waiting outside the hall, out into the streets of Manchester.

'I walked and walked for an hour or so, out of the city centre, dizzy and desperate for distance from the speech and the news machine that salivated around it. I felt 海峡-jacketed. I had to 解放（する） the 圧力 in my ribs and breathe.

'崩壊（する）ing into a doorway, I lay there on the tarmac for an hour or so before I could get up and limp my way 支援する to the hotel.'

Self-疑問 and panic had, in fact, 攻撃する，非難するd her for years. A feeling 'like a boa-constrictor coiled 一連の会議、交渉／完成する (her) ches t' first gripped her when she was 17.

Later, fresh out of university, having 伸び（る）d a degree in English Literature from Southampton and a Masters in poetry from Bristol, she reproached herself for not having 達成するd enough. 'I was （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域ing myself up because I hadn't written my first novel.'

Even when she was elevated to the PM's inner sanctum, she was trying to silence a strident 内部の 発言する／表明する that 主張するd she was an ペテン師 ― にもかかわらず her precocious competence and the accolades routinely heaped upon her ― by drinking ひどく, smoking and eating junk food.

すぐに after the 会議／協議会 炉心溶融, in Autumn 2013, she was 攻撃する，衝突する by another panic attack so powerful that the 床に打ち倒す at Oxford Circus tube 駅／配置する in central London, 'seemed to peel up and 攻撃する に向かって me.'

She 解任するs: 'Escaping to the street, ten storey buildings became leaning towers of Pisa, teetering over the 長，率いるs of 労働者s scurrying into Pret A Manger. The noise of cars and buses was sickening, the 激流 of people dizzying. I fought the 勧める to 嘘（をつく） on the street and stabilise myself by looking up at the clouds.' A fortnight later she went to a psychiatrist hoping for pills to 扱う／治療する her 苦悩 disorder. Instead, she was surprised when her doctor gave her a lecture on pre-history.

'He told me about the 'lizard' part of our brains ― 不変の for 40,000 years ― that 治める／統治するs life-支えるing 過程s like digestion, heart 率, 団体／死体 気温 and crucially 支配（する）／統制するs our 直感的に 返答s to danger.

'Against a fanged beast, our best 選択s were to fight or to 逃げる, each 要求するing gallons of adrenaline. Even if the 'danger' is hardly life-脅すing, the reptilian brain still dutifully clicks the 団体／死体 into 生き残り 方式 ― cue galloping heartbeat and shortness of breath. The doctor's neurological history lesson was a 発覚,' she says.

It was a light bulb moment that 誘発するd a 深遠な change in her life and 奮起させるd her new 調書をとる／予約する, The Paleo Life: 石／投石する Age 知恵 For Modern Times, the first part of which is 抽出するd in The Mail on Sunday tomorrow.

She wrote the 調書をとる／予約する because, keen to read about how you can change your life by paring it 支援する ― living, in essence, much closer to the way our ancestors did ― she 設立する nothing. 'So I decided to 研究 and 令状 it myself.'

It signalled the start of her own 広範囲にわたる 深い dive into the lives of hunter-gatherers, 面s of which she has adapted to her own 21st century life with astonishing results.

Today she glows with good health; her porcelain 肌 is flawless. She has lustrous dark hair, （疑いを）晴らす 注目する，もくろむs and a cogent train of thought that often 砂漠s hard-圧力（をかける）d mums.

可決する・採択するing a paleo lifestyle has had far-reaching and 有益な 影響s not just on her parenting but also on her marriage, diet and general health and 井戸／弁護士席-存在.

And she has cherry-選ぶd the 知恵 of lives led 40 millennia ago to find out how to 戦闘 the hyper-苦悩 and 燃やす-out that 疫病／悩ますd her high-飛行機で行くing career. Today, married to Sean, 43, a 外科医, Clare 作品 as a 新聞記者／雑誌記者, 週刊誌 LBC 無線で通信する presenter, author and 時折の Mail columnist 同様に as 手渡すs-on mum to Thea, six, Beau, four, Reya, three and Romy.

She wonders now if her 苦悩 has its roots 早期に in her childhood. Her father Joe, an architect, died of leukaemia when she was eight, leaving her 未亡人d mum Harriet to raise five children 選び出す／独身-handedly. Harriet, now 79, and a therapist, was 'the best egg,' she says.

She also fostered up to three children at a time: as many as eight kids lived at the family home in Guildford, Surrey, with a 単独の adult at the 舵輪／支配.

'Even as a child I was hard-wired to be 苦悩-傾向がある and over-analytical,' says Clare. 'I felt I needed to 達成する things all the time. I 始める，決める high 基準s for myself. When I was a 十代の少年少女 the 負わせる of adult life bore 負かす／撃墜する on me.'

The image of the boa-constrictor's 窒息させるing 支配する recurs. 'Having a few alcopops would relax the snake for a bit but come the next morning he'd be 副／悪徳行為-like around my ribcage again.

'One morning, after a 特に 激しい night with that old charmer, Jack Daniel's, I had my first panic attack. Pinned to the bed, my heart 続けざまに猛撃するd so much that the sheets leapt. 'Mum, call an 救急車! I'm dying!' ' she 令状s.

At university she developed claustrophobia. 'In my 早期に 20s I wouldn't travel on the Tube and for a １０年間 I wouldn't 飛行機で行く. いつかs I'd manage short-運ぶ／漁獲高 with the help of a Valium and beta blocker. But I wouldn't go on long-運ぶ／漁獲高 flights. For a while I wouldn't even go on the train because I couldn't make it stop or get into t he open 空気／公表する.'

連合した to this, the compulsion to 達成する ramped up. 'My 批判的な inner 発言する／表明する was asking, 'What have you done?' I felt this 抱擁する 圧力 to be exceptional.'

For a few years, 地位，任命する-university, she had drifted between 職業s: ice cream 販売人, theatre wardrobe assistant, silver-service waitress, nightclub bouncer.

Nightclub bouncer? 'Yes! It was at a place called The Drink in Guildford. I did ボクシング 簡潔に and I had to wear a 黒人／ボイコット 控訴 and shirt. We paired up with someone ― but it wasn't fair on the guy with me. No one was 脅すd of me.'

She got into politics because her then boyfriend was a Sussex 郡 議員: 'I went （選挙などの）運動をするing with him and met Nicholas Soames, Churchill's grandson, who was delightful.'

By 2005 she was an 'evangelical' Young 保守的な, gleefully joining Guildford's Tory MP Anne Milton on her 一連の会議、交渉／完成する of 'salmon dinners and curry nights,' when she decided she'd like to work for a 保守的な MP.

MP Sir John Hayes took her on, 老年の 25, as an 抑留する in 2006: 'He became my best, best friend. He is a 暴動 of a man,' she says.

But ペテン師 syndrome raised its 長，率いる when she was working in 議会.

'I was surrounded by supremely 確信して, 有望な young Oxbridge things and I was paralysed. It took me a long time to feel professionally 確信して.

'My throat would constrict and when I spoke in 会合s all my opinions were でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れるd with a question 示す over them. I was timorous. I think women waste a lot of time feeling under-確信して. But you are 井戸／弁護士席 good enough,' she 明言する／公表するs.

She overcame her diffidence by 観察するing self-保証するd men. David Cameron. Boris Johnson. 'When they （機の）カム into a room they 占領するd the space. I thought: 'I want some of that. I am just going to emulate it.''

In 2007 she started 令状ing speeches for Boris Johnson's London 市長の （選挙などの）運動をする.

He had 賞賛するd her as 'appallingly good' and the に引き続いて year she was 任命する／導入するd in City Hall for a few months before a speech-令状ing 職業 with PM David Cameron （機の）カム up.

There were two other (male) 競争相手s and it was the 首相's 長，指導者 of staff who 説得するd Clare to 適用する for it.

'He said, 'Don't be such a girl. You just have to go for it.' I ended up getting the 職業. But even then I felt I'd hoodwinked them into it.'

To begin with she worked with two other speech writers. Then in 2011 she got the 最高の，を越す 職業: 長，指導者 speech-writer. She was just 30.

The boa-constrictor 後部d its 長，率いる again: 'I was really anxious, panicky. いつかs I'd have to leave my desk and just walk and walk.'

Her 恐れる of 飛行機で行くing ― the cramped, enclosed space ― ramped up and when Cameron 示唆するd she go to New York with him (he was …に出席するing the UN General 議会 before the party 会議／協議会) so they could 罰金-tune his speech on the flight, she invented an excuse to 支援する out.

'I pretended a friend was in the country for just 24 hours and I couldn't go.'

She w as working fiendishly hard, but also socialising on an epic 規模, too. 'I was drinking やめる a lot on a 正規の／正選手 basis. It was a 対処するing 機械装置.

'I always had ibuprofen on my 病人の枕元 （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する. Three or four times a week I'd be hungover.

'It was normal for me to arrive red-注目する，もくろむd in 負かす／撃墜するing Street and 長，率いる for the 地階 cafe for a bacon bap or sausage roll for breakfast.

'I could be counted on to come for drinks after work and I'd be の中で the last to leave. You'd want me at your dinner party if it was going on until 1am.

'Half my birthday cards had some alcohol-関係のある joke on them.

'At one 負かす／撃墜するing Street Christmas party at a 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 in Soho I lost my shoe and snogged someone 不適切な (no, I won't tell you who) and I was dancing with a mop. I was chucked out.'

There was no work-life balance; she neglected friendships, did not 充てる enough time to 関係s with men; even 没収されるd family 祝賀s.

'My siblings were at Mum's house for my birthday lunch and I had to take an 緊急の call about some 開発 in Afghanistan. I went up to my bedroom and sat there （電話線からの）盗聴 on my laptop. It happened a lot. I was 絶えず 説: 'I can't come to your party/wedding. I hope you understand.'

'I would sit at my desk, the last to leave my office, often until 1am with only Larry the imperious 負かす／撃墜するing Street cat for company.'

She was also 絶えず simmering in a stew of news: 'I love the news and the 商売／仕事 of newspapers. I lived for it. But there is something different from enjoying a newspaper once a day and poring over news 公式発表s endlessly looking for new angles and marinating your mind in it.'

During her five years at Number 10, 'I had a warped 視野 on what 事柄d becau se you obsessively read every different news 場所／位置 and opinion piece. You're only half living in the real world.'

She 解任するs the run-up to that climactic 会議／協議会 speech in 2013, how she was 穴を開けるd up in her hotel room in Manchester for 72 hours, 'surrounded by room-service trays of half-eaten burgers' making frantic last-minute 改正s to the PM's speech, which she had been working on for months.

'While thousands schmoozed and partied at the 会議／協議会 outside, I stayed at my laptop in my （船に）燃料を積み込む／（軍）地下えんぺい壕 ― my only company the 24-hour TV news.

'As the countdown to the Big Speech began, TV reporters would 推測する endlessly about what the 首相 was to say. 'He really needs to pull something out of the 捕らえる、獲得する . . . His party are 推定する／予想するing big things.'

'Although I was not 配達するing the speech myself, it still felt as though my 長，率いる was on the 封鎖する. With each news 報告（する）／憶測 the belt of 苦悩 around my chest would ratchet a notch tighter.'

Little wonder she took flight and ended up 低迷d in a doorway. Her 苦悩, the 負わせる of 期待s, the sense that social マスコミ had become a 'はびこる beast' and that the 21st century was 'jangling my 神経s,' all 与える／捧げるd to her 決定／判定勝ち（する） to やめる her 職業.

She left in 2015 just after the Tory 選挙 victory when David Cameron 安全な・保証するd his second 称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 of office as PM. She was awarded an OBE, 老年の 34, for her services to 負かす／撃墜するing Street.

On leaving the 地位，任命する that had given her a （犯罪の）一味-味方する seat on history, she says: 'I went 静かに, just put everything from my desk into my wheelie スーツケース and left. I'd helped to 令状 the PM's victory speech but I didn't want to be so 消費するd by news and politics any more.

'I 手配中の，お尋ね者 a clean horizon, to organise my life in a different way. There were 減らすing returns to my ego as 井戸／弁護士席. It was wonderful at first. I'd be at a barbecue and I'd be introduced as 'David Cameron's 長，指導者 speechwriter.' But the satisfaction from that gets a little bit thinner every time.

'I couldn't do it for ever. I didn't feel it was nourishing other parts of myself. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 a family, too and I was not giving my all to 関係s because I was working very hard. My heart's 願望（する） had been to get professional 承認.

'People would (v)策を弄する／(n)騎手 to have the office nearest to the PM, to sit in on his important 8am 会合.

'But you can't spend your whole life chasing flattery.'

急速な／放蕩な 今後 to today and she has married to Sean for eight years ― they first met at university but did not get together until the pace of her life became いっそう少なく frenetic ― and she is embracing a simpler, pared-負かす／撃墜する 存在.

Of course, she points out, she has not 選ぶd out of the 21st century 完全に: she is 感謝する for 'modern 薬／医学, 誤った eyelashes, ice-cubes; chickens with the giblets taken out'.