Sarah Brown's No.10 diaries: Carla's love secret, my White House wobbles - and why critics are so wrong about Gordon's grin

By Sarah Brown
Updated: 12:14 BST, 22 February 2011

主要な ladies: Sarah Brown with Carla Bruni

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Much gossip in the 空気／公表する about the French 大統領’s 報告（する）／憶測d 関係 with the supermodel and singer?songwriter Carla Bruni. Nicolas Sarkozy is a 広大な／多数の／重要な friend of Gordon’s ― and I definitely want to know more about her.

Today, Gordon is hosting a major 会合 at No?10 for some 重要な European players ― Nicolas, Angela Merkel of Germany, Romano Prodi of Italy and the 長，率いる of the European （売買）手数料，委託（する）／委員会／権限, Jos? Manuel Barroso. ?

There is a bit of a gap waiting for 大統領 Sarkozy, who is famously late for pretty much everything, 特に if the cameras are lined up to notice.

When he arrives, he すぐに takes us both to one 味方する, and whispers that he and Carla have just 静かに married, but that they are still 保留するing the news from the マスコミ. We whisper our congratulations and agree to keep the secret.

Monday, February 18
At the culmination of many hours’ work, the 政府 has now taken over the running of Northern 激しく揺する, to keep it going. I have a cup of tea with （ドイツなどの）首相／（大学の）学長 Alistair Darling’s wife Maggie, and we agree that both Gordon and Alistair are very 静める and level-長，率いるd under the 圧力.?

Monday, March 24
Gordon says that after ten years of 労働 政府, he’s realising that every problem that ar rives will be called his fault. I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う he might be 権利.

Wednesday, March 26
Today is the start of the French 公式訪問 to London. I feel やめる nervous about the さまざまな parts of the programme, the 形式順守, and the 抱擁する マスコミ and public 利益／興味 in the visit, never mind getting hair, outfits and posture 権利 standing next to a supermodel (which 現実に bothers me いっそう少なく, whether wisely or not).

I imagine that Carla will be feeling 平等に nervous, and she has so much at 火刑／賭ける, as this is her first 公式訪問 with her new husband.

It is not until 早期に afternoon that I am ready, in a pink Louise Kennedy coat, and go with Gordon to the House of Lords. When the 大統領 and the new Mrs Sarkozy arrive, I give Carla a 抱擁する as she looks so anxious. She looks terrific in her chic dove-grey and 海軍 Dior; she has pitched it just 権利.

Thursday, March 27
示す Pittman comes in 早期に to redo my hair, and I put on a 黒人／ボイコット and white Jaeger 控訴 and my usual 特許 heels. Gordon and I are 負かす／撃墜する in the 入り口 hall on time to 迎える／歓迎する the Sarkozys.

Nicolas tells me he is excited that it is his wife’s first visit to 負かす／撃墜するing Street. Carla and I go to the Terracotta Room, which takes its 指名する from the vibrant colour of the 塀で囲むs, and talk on the sofa. So far, I think, for two people who have only spoken 簡潔に on the phone, we get on very 井戸／弁護士席.

After tea, she says she’s worried about the speech she will give at our White 略章 同盟 lunch [which （選挙などの）運動をするs against maternal deaths in 発展途上国s].

The two of us go to the nearby 熟考する／考慮する to look over our 各々の words.

Sarah with Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in the Terracotta room at 10 負かす／撃墜するing St before 長，率いるing off to give speeches

One of my assistants has already confided that Carla has discussed with her 補佐官s the 可能性 of pulling out of speaking. I hope I have 供給するd her with 十分な 安心, but don’t think I should について言及する that I’m as nervous as she is.

We are driven to nearby Lancaster House. I speak first. Carla gives a shorter speech, but does so with her mesmerising, melodic 発言する／表明する and her wonderful accent: she has us all joining up to ‘ze coze’ (the 原因（となる）).

Over lunch, she sends a couple of texts to her husband. When I ask how she manages to make time for 令状ing music, now that she has married Nicolas, she says: ‘The only thing I 行方不明になる is my loneliness.’

Tuesday, April 8
I am getting better at public speaking, but I still を煩う panic attacks. So I 調印する up for a couple of 開会／開廷／会期s with speaking coach Polly James, who was hugely famous as Beryl in The 肝臓 Birds.

Polly comes up with some 平易な breathing 演習s that are すぐに helpful. Her 最高の，を越す tip is to concentrate on my 十分な breath all the way through my 団体／死体 ― she even has me lying on the 床に打ち倒す of the sitting room, huffing away. Whatever it takes!?

A LESSON IN CHARM FROM CLOONEY

The whole of No?10 is in 十分な-on swoons at the visit of George Clooney, who at the start of this year took up a 役割 as a UN ‘messenger of peace’.

He and his 同僚s arrive before 9am to 会合，会う Gordon and get 権利 負かす／撃墜する to a discussion about what 活動／戦闘 can be taken on Darfur, using Gordon’s international 接触するs and Clooney’s メガワット マスコミ 力／強力にする.

I am not trying to be 冷静な／正味の, but I am not part of the 会合 and so stay in the flat with the boys. Then, I get a call from Gordon’s diary 長官, asking if I will take the boys over to say hello to George.

Of course, Mr Clooney is very charming, and a 適切に professional famous person. By this, I mean that he has that way of 支払う／賃金ing attention to everyone who walks into a room, looking to 支配（する）／統制する what happens so that the experience 作品 井戸／弁護士席, that conversation is good, that he is liked.

It is not a bad thing, it is just noticeable の中で very famous people, and Mr Clooney seems to be の中で the best at this.

Smooth 操作者: Sarah with George Clooney

Wednesday, April 16
My first trip to the White House to visit 大統領 George W Bush and First Lady Laura Bush has been 始める，決める to 同時に起こる／一致する with a 一連の 会合s with the 大統領の 候補者s for the 来たるべき 選挙.

I started out feeling jet-lagged before the day began, 予定 to small people waking in the night and needing an extra 瓶／封じ込める.

追加するd to this, I am travel ling to Washington DC without Gordon or 安全 保護, so 長，率いる out to the airport with only one assistant, Konrad, and our luggage for three days (and 14 different events).

At the airport, I am わずかに embarrassed that I have a too-large 瓶／封じ込める of nail polish remover that must be ritually 押収するd. The 安全 officer searching my 捕らえる、獲得する sweetly apologises for the inconvenience and asks me how long I have been working for Konrad.

I tell you, we girls have some way to go in the world to find equality.

As we 運動 into Washington DC later, we are …を伴ってd by the 十分な flashing blue police lights. All I can think of is how much my boys would love this. There is definitely something about 存在 the mother of small boys ― I notice every 緊急 service 乗り物 and every earth-digger with 評価.

Thursday, April 17
The arrival of the 大統領の 候補者s at the British 大使館 all goes like clockwork: Obama at nine, Clinton at ten, McCain at 11.

Obama is tall, striking and has obvious 教祖的指導力, but waits for someone else to get the conversation going. 上院議員 Clinton is open and friendly. John McCain is jovial but seems very tired. When asked to join Gordon for a walk past the cameras, he jokes as though muttering to himself: ‘承認する, mustn’t drool.’

I am 大いに looking 今後 to my 会合 with Laura Bush, but a little worried that I am not やめる myself. I noticed at last night’s 歓迎会 that I was getting slight balance problems and feelings of panic.

Our offices have agreed on a visit to the Smithsonian 展示 at the Washington DC 特許 Office Building, about the second 就任の ball of 大統領 Lincoln. I arrive feeling over-tired and 自信のない of my balance. If I stand for any length of time, I start to get wobbly and a bit ‘whooh’ in my 長，率いる.

When Mrs Bush arrives, I join her as we are taken 一連の会議、交渉／完成する the 展示（する）s. I just creep along, lean ing against 塀で囲むs where I can.

We then have a short walk to a new undulating room designed by British architect Sir Norman Foster. 式のs, I can hardly look up. Mrs Bush and I have hardly spoken a word throughout the visit.

Later, I have いっそう少なく than half an hour to get ready for a White House dinner. I have with me a lovely grey dress and pink jacket from Amanda Wakeley, which makes me feel a bit dressy and self-conscious. I am still やめる wobbly.

At the White House, 大統領 Bush asks me if I have visited it before and I say only once, on a 小旅行する many years before.

Our conversation is very 平易な going and uncomplicated. The 大統領 会談 of his 退職 計画（する）s, which 含む speaking 約束／交戦s, and creating a new Freedom 創立／基礎 in Texas. He knows about his unpopularity, but is unmoved by it.

Mrs Bush asks me about JK Rowling and 会談 enthusiastically about the boys and my charity.

Over dinner, the discussion returns to the 大統領 and his leadership style (he believes in lots of 代表). His mood is reflective and 含むs his thoughts on people who have lasted the course (not many), and his 賞賛 for Condoleezza Rice.

Gordon and 大統領 Bush seem 平易な in each other’s company. They talk a fair bit about 調書をとる／予約するs they are each reading, and I notice that 大統領 Bush is a 広大な／多数の／重要な lover of 作品 by British historians. I think we all had a good time.

Monday, February 15, 2009
To celebrate the Chinese New Year, Gordon and I host a 歓迎会 at No?10.

TV presenter and styling 専門家 Gok 病弱な (pictured left) is there with his ma and poppa ― really 甘い people who are half his 高さ.? When we are introduced, Gordon asks him: ‘Are you here to give me a make-over?’

‘There are only so many ways to style a 海軍 blue 控訴,’ I say, to which Gok smartly replies, ‘There’s always room for a few sequins.’

Tuesday, April 22

An 任命 with Fraser for a check-up at the wonderful 広大な／多数の／重要な Ormond Street Hospital.?

PIERS? HE TRULY LOVES BEING FAMOUS

Ahead of my flight home from a 首脳会議 in Los Angeles, I have a lunch 招待 from Piers Morgan to join him at the Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills with a few fellow-Brits.

My brother Sean and his wife and I turn up to find our ebullient friend perfectly positioned at an outdoor （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する out 前線.

He has 招待するd his chums [TV 裁判官] Sharon Osbourne, [singer] Katherine Jenkins and [TV presenter] June Sarpong to join us.

Everyone is on spectacularly good form and soon 株ing their favourite stories of celeb 事故s.

My brother Sean 勝利，勝つs 手渡すs 負かす／撃墜する with his tale of first 会合 JK Rowling in my kitchen and not recognising her.

When he asked ‘Jo’ what she did, and she modestly replied she was a writer, he magnanimously 申し込む／申し出d his creative advice: ‘The important thing, love, is to finish your first 草案.’

‘Shut up!’ exclaims Mrs Osbourne, in her familiar TV 裁判官 トンs.

Sharon is much warmer and more approachable than her TV persona would 示唆する, and rather beautiful. Katherine and June are content just to watch the lunchtime show that is Piers and Sharon today.

As we leave, Piers makes a point of telling the waiting photographers not to make a fuss ― which pretty much 保証（人）s they do 正確に／まさに that. He truly loves 存在 famous.

Lunch date: From left, Sharon Osbourne, TV host June Sarpong, Katherine Jenkins, Sarah Brown and Piers Morgan

Thursday, April 24
There is a little nervousness の中で the political team about the terrible 圧力（をかける） ニュース報道 we are getting, and a 恐れる of what happens next. As we leave a party members/貿易（する） union 会合 later, Gordon worries that they weren’t やめる with him.

Thursday, May 1
Gordon’s mood suddenly changed yesterday. He seems very 確かな of himself, his message and his ideas.

Wednesday, May 7
Today, I have been 招待するd to join Carla for a 私的な lunch at the ?lys?e Palace. She is charming and welcoming, and looks as みごたえのある as ever in pinstripe trousers and a strappy little white 最高の，を越す.

She is trying to 記録，記録的な／記録する her music album and get used to her new married life.

We eat lunch out in the Palace gardens, which are rather idyllic. 大統領 Sarkozy appears at one point, literally from behind a bush ― I think he had spotted us from his 会合 in another part of the garden.

Thursday, May 22
Gordon and I 長，率いる 負かす／撃墜する to the Olympic 場所／位置 in Docklands. London 市長 Boris Johnson gives a speech in which he inexplicably 引用するs Latin text, and then lectures me afterwards about the importance of Latin. I went to a 広大な／多数の／重要な school that did not teach Latin so am unable to?comment.

Monday, May 26
We go off to a 黒人／ボイコット-tie do at Windsor 城 for the Olympics 委員会 but on the way 負かす／撃墜する there, it turns out I am not 現実に 招待するd. I agree to sit and wait in the car.

This 控訴s me 罰金 as I can talk on the phone from the car park, and the evening passes やめる quickly.

Sunday, June 15
Tonight we are hosting a dinner for 大統領 and Mrs Bush, to which I’ve 招待するd some of our most 著名な historians.

Later, I have a 急速な／放蕩な and very 激しい conversation with the 大統領. 反抗するing my personal 期待s, I find him very 平易な to talk to, with a knack of getting 権利 to the heart of an 問題／発行する with direct questions.

He asks me to explain to him very 直接／まっすぐに the 事例／患者 for the maternal mortality （選挙などの）運動をする, then asks me what he needs to do. I reply that I think his 職業 is to 配達する G8 基金ing for 4?million health 労働者s. He says he believes that they would make a difference.

At the の近くに of our discussion, the 大統領 says that he admires people who are loyal and have strong marriages. I then receive a final 大統領の 握りこぶし Bump.

Monday, June 16
I 会合，会う Laura Bush at the British Museum. Even after so many years of 存在 First Lady, she still shows the 利益／興味 of someone discovering something new; she has a grace and politeness that never 滞るs.

一方／合間, historian Alistair Horne is rather いっそう少なく gracious, 令状ing in an article that the 率先 for the historians’ dinner ‘manifestly （機の）カム from the White House’. Rather mean to steal the credit away, 特に when I had 招待するd him to 控訴 the 大統領’s 利益／興味, as Horne’s politics are certainly not 地雷.

Monday, July 7
We are in Japan for the G8 首脳会議, where Gordon 長，率いるs off to 会合s with the さまざまな leaders. The Japanese First Lady, Mrs Fukuda, has created a programme for the spouses ― so I watch a 12-層 kimono demonstration, and have my first 試みる／企てる at a tea 儀式.

The 歓待 is superb. For me, though, it is a bit like going on a school trip without your friends. You have no one to turn to ーするために 株 the moment or have a bit of a laugh.

Over dinner, Sarkozy seems quieter than usual, perhaps because Carla is not here.

Tuesday, July 8
I hover 近づく the 公式の／役人 長，率いるs of 政府 会合s to see if I can get word on what happened about getting maternal mortality into the 公式の／役人 documentation. With no political will, no change can take place for these women dying on the 床に打ち倒すs of huts, in fields, and in their own homes. If nothing happens today, then my （選挙などの）運動をするing will have reached a sad end.

Then Gordon’s 補佐官 comes to tell me the good news. 大統領 George W Bush has 現れるd as the surprising 支持する／優勝者 for these women and their families. He has not only raised the 問題／発行する, but 主張するd that a section on health 労働者s for better maternal health be 含むd in the communiqu?.

I know that many women’s organisations around the world have not seen 注目する，もくろむ-to-注目する，もくろむ with 大統領 Bush, but today he has done a good 行為.

Thursday, July 17
It is Fraser’s second birthday party, which he is celebrating with his cousin Isabel, who was four yesterday. Maggie [Darling] has made a phenomenal cake for Isabel that has a 十分な-size Barbie standing up on it, wearing a pink sparkly skirt. Fraser has a more 伝統的な chocolate cake 冒険的な the whole of Pooh Corner.

Once the party is over, I こそこそ動く out to Soho House for a 調書をとる／予約する 開始する，打ち上げる for Piers Morgan’s girlfriend Celia Walden [now his wife]. I take two friends visiting from our village in Scotland, and say that I will show them a bit of 冷静な／正味の London.

My moment to show how 冷静な／正味の I am is rather dissipated when I （犯罪の）一味 the bell of Soho House and no one answers. Finally, a girl appears to say that she can’t see my 指名する on the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）. It takes a fair b it of 説得するing to 証明する I am not there to gatecrash.

Sunday, July 20
We are on a short visit to イスラエル and パレスチナ. In Bethlehem Square, we draw up in armoured 乗り物s to visit the Church of the Nativity. The sun is 向こうずねing 負かす／撃墜する and the large array of 旗-waving, pink-cheeked children have 明確に been there for a while.

As soon as Gordon walks に向かって them, he is 完全に 襲う with 抱擁するs and handshakes. There is something about Gordon that just makes children smile, and something about children that makes Gordon beam.

I have read all the comments about how he smiles, whether it looks real, whether it is his best look ― many comments, barbed and cruel. What I know is: put him with a bunch of children, and you just get a 巨大（な） grin from him ― and them.

I often wonder if children have that extra sense, not yet lost, instinctively to recognise a good person.

Saturday, July 26
From our 支援する windows, the children peek out into the garden to see Gordon with Barack Obama, the man with the ‘audacity’ to hope to become the first 黒人／ボイコット 大統領 of the U.S..

中央の-morning, I take the boys and my niece Izzy over to say hello to the 上院議員. We talk about 差し迫った holidays. Gordon and Obama stand by the fireplace to 提起する／ポーズをとる for an 公式の／役人 photo, only for Izzy to poke her 長，率いる through Obama’s 脚s. He takes it all in his stride.

Sunday, August 3
Our eighth wedding 周年記念日. As ever, Gordon asks if I want to go out somewhere lovely for dinner. I think of a romantic （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する for two, and a cosy 隣人ing （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する of 探偵，刑事s, and I 拒絶する／低下する.

Instead, we go out to the garden while our nanny looks after the boys. This is bliss ― feet up in a garden 議長，司会を務める, glass of 冷淡な white ワイン and the company of my husband ― with no talk of work or anything dull and 国内の. A little precious mom ent to treasure.

Wednesday, August 27
Hillary Clinton, who has 譲歩するd 敗北・負かす in the 大統領の race, gives a speech to support Barack Obama today ― one of the best, most moving 演説（する）／住所s I have ever heard.

I love her 言及／関連 to Harriet Tubman, who led the call for the fight against slavery.

‘[She] had one piece of advice: “If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the たいまつs in the 支持を得ようと努めるd, keep going. If they’re shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.”?’

抱擁する 賞賛. 削減（する） to me on my sofa at home, 涙／ほころびs 注ぐing 負かす／撃墜する 直面する.

Later, I talk to Gordon and say I wonder if, maybe, just a thought, no need to decide, if I could, should, maybe, speak at the 会議／協議会, perhaps to introduce him.

He is すぐに 利益／興味d in the idea, asking what I think I want to say. I 港／避難所’t decided yet, and the idea is very scary, but it is a thought that I can’t shake since listening to 上院議員 Clinton.

Saturday, September 13
A small number of MPs are ordering 指名／任命 papers, which is the only way a serving 労働 leader can be 除去するd if enough do it. It is 乱すing that this is our own party ― and former friends ― who are doing this to us.

Sunday, September 14
Jo Rowling calls me to say that she wants to do something to support the 労働 Party, and 特に Gordon’s leadership. What a woman.

I love it that she does what she believes ― and hats off to her for supporting us. I tell Gordon, who is visibly moved by the news.

He is hard at work on the telephone, as he knows that the 投資 bank Lehman Brothers is going into 炉心溶融 tomorrow. How can one person be smart enough to do all these things and think ahead and worry about 分割 in the 階級s, too? I want him to be better supported internally.

Saturday, September 20
Everyone is 大いに 上げるd by the news of JK Rowling’s £1?million 寄付 to the 労働 Party.

My friend Gil McNeil arrives and we talk about whether I might introduce Gordon ahead of his speech on Tuesday. I have asked the 見解（をとる） of a few people, 含むing Emma Freud and Jo Rowling. No one 現実に says: ‘Sarah, that’s a terrible idea’, which is what I had half-推定する／予想するd.

As I think about what I would say, one phrase 泡s up: ‘I would like to introduce my husband, our party leader, your 総理大臣 ― Gordon Brown.’ I think this says it all.

I wonder if I am 避けるing a final 決定／判定勝ち（する） about my speech so I can 減ずる the 量 of time I have to feel gut-wrenchingly nervous.

Sunday, September 21
The 労働 反逆者／反逆するs have failed to 新採用する any more support but their presence at the 会議／協議会 brings a sulky, 積極的な トン which, you can tell from the general chatter, is 盗聴 the other attendees. Gordon and I visit six 歓迎会s before returning to our room.

Monday, September 22
支援する at the hotel, Gordon raises the 支配する of whether I might introduce him at the 会議／協議会 tomorrow and after a quick 長，率いるs-together with his team, he says YES. I find a computer and settle 負かす／撃墜する to 令状.

I am very （疑いを）晴らす about my 目的 in introducing Gordon: I want people to see him through my 注目する，もくろむs ― as the 広大な／多数の／重要な, gorgeous man I know, who cares and 作品 hard and does a good 職業 for the country.

Tuesday, September 23
Finally, the day of Gordon’s speech 夜明けs. Someone 調書をとる／予約するs me a make-up artist, as the HDTV の近くに-ups are pretty remorseless. At 1.30pm, Gordon and I walk across to the 会議／協議会 hall. I feel my heart 続けざまに猛撃するing in my chest ― I want to do this so much, but also feel pretty terrified.

I am 勧めるd to the 味方する of the 行う／開催する／段階 and told I have a minute to go. I can feel the adrenaline 殺到するing and feel ready to run a mile or more. Then the minutes stretch to two, and then two more.

As the adrenaline 衝突，墜落s, I feel a bit sick and start to hyperventilate. I feel Gil 得る，とらえる my arm and walk me 一連の会議、交渉／完成する in circles. I am very pale, then very 紅潮／摘発するd, then pale again.

I just keep walking until, suddenly, it is time to go on to the 巨大（な） 行う／開催する／段階. I reach the lectern and the cameras all swivel their レンズs on to me in one big movement as the audience rises to its feet.

When the clapping stops, I start to speak. I then introduce a film showing 労働’s 業績／成就s and move 支援する a bit to watch the big 審査する. I can feel my 脚s shaking, however, and move 支援する to the lectern for a 安全な 持つ／拘留する.

At the end of the film, I introduce ‘my husband, the leader of the 労働 Party, your 総理大臣 ― Gordon Brown’.

The music goes up ― ‘(Your Love Keeps 解除するing Me) Higher And Higher’ ― and Gordon comes on 行う／開催する／段階, beaming, and gives me a big kiss.

I sit in the 前線 列／漕ぐ／騒動 and watch Gordon give the speech of his life. A 抱擁する roar goes up at the end. The 残り／休憩（する） of the day passes in a blur.

I hope Gordon’s 信用／信任 is ブイ，浮標d by the reaction ― we will need it to see us through whatever lies ahead.

All smiles: Sarah wi th US 大統領 Barack Obama