厳密に is dancing all over The X Factor

By SANDRA PARSONS FOR THE DAILY MAIL
Updated: 10:08 BST, 19 October 2011

There's much びっくり仰天 at ITV, we’re? told, because the 考えられない has happened: The X Factor has lost two million テレビ視聴者s.

To 追加する to its humiliation, it’s been beaten in the ratings by its middle-老年の, middle-of-the-road 競争相手, 厳密に Come Dancing.

Those of us who 現実に watch TV on a Saturday evening ― as …に反対するd to TV (n)役員／(a)執行力のあるs, who have far more important th ings to do ― are not in the least bit surprised.

Family entertainment? Kitty Brucknell shocking audiences in this year's 一連の The X Factor

It’s long been assumed that The X Factor is for 冷静な／正味の people while 厳密に is for sad squares.

What’s certainly true is that The X Factor has, in the past, depended on the tawdry and salacious to 増加する its 見解（をとる）ing 人物／姿／数字s, while 厳密に is that most old-fashioned of things ― a show for all the family.

But what’s been obvious this year is that The X Factor is about as exciting as a wet afternoon in McDonald’s.

It’s wheeled out the same old stereotypes as it does every year: the boy 禁止（する）d, the kooky blonde and the buxom 幅の広い who belts out a good tune.

Not that their 身元s 事柄, of course: The X Factor has never really been about the contestants, most of whom might just 同様に be singing karaoke, but are 部隊d in their manic ambition to be famous.

How different from the crucible that is 厳密に, in which faded 星／主役にするs 争う with up-and-coming talent to produce やめる 予期しない emotion and 演劇.

One fascinating irony about 厳密に is that the show 焦点（を合わせる）s on its celebrities’ physical talent, while 現実に 明らかにする／漏らすing far more about their personalities.

We enjoy 厳密に as much for these 発覚s of character as for the brilliant (or 壊滅的な) renditions of the cha-cha.

Enjoyable 見解（をとる）ing: Anton Du Beke and Nancy Dell' Olio during dress rehearsals for the BBC programme 厳密に Come Dancing

And so we’ve fallen out of love with Nancy Dell’Olio, whose 蒸し暑い glamour in no way 補償するs for her 欠如（する） of warmth and humour, while becoming mesmerised by the humanity of Russell 認める, a faded C-名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） 星／主役にする whose 指名する most people had 完全に forgotten.

Just three years ago, 認める was, by his own admission, a morbidly obese agoraphobic recluse with a heart 条件, 糖尿病 and 不景気. Then he got some antidepressants, put himself on a diet and lost 11st.

It’s gloriously uplifting to watch him as he twirls across the 床に打ち倒す like candyfloss, just as it’s surprisingly moving to watch Rory Bremner ― whose career had 滞るd because he finds he can’t imitate the Tories ― finally throw off his inhibitions and come into his own with a brilliant quickstep.

It’s all so much more 説得力のある than the souped-up sob stories cynically churned out by The X Factor.

That’s why we’ve come to depend at least as much on its 裁判官s for the show’s entertainment value. It’s their character and psychology that fascinate us ― or, at least, they used to.?

The X Factor without Simon Cowell has about as much 当局 as the Bible without God.

Without Cowell, there’s no one to 恐れる, still いっそう少なく 尊敬（する）・点.

'Women of a 確かな age may like Gary Barlow, but he comes across as insincere and patronising...'

Like all the best 裁判官s, he spoke the truth. He could be relied on to say the unsayable and 配達する the 殺し屋 blow.

平等に, when he 賞賛するd an 行為／法令／行動する, it really meant something: he knew the 産業 and what it took to make a 攻撃する，衝突する 記録，記録的な／記録する.

Women of a 確かな age may like Gary Barlow, but he comes across as insincere and patronising.

Tulisa and Kelly Rowland show too much cleavage for anyone to take them 本気で, and Louis Walsh just witters too much.

As for the show itself, at two hours and ten minutes it’s way too long.

It 下落するs like a pair of teenage boy’s trousers, and is just as unappetising.

There are too many adverts and not enough good music.?

Most of all, it needs better 裁判官s. Noel Gallagher ― who says he was asked by Cowell to 取って代わる him, but said no ― needs to be 説得するd to 再考する.

Cowell himself should come 支援する, and bring with him the only other 裁判官 on British TV who 株 his 無（不）能 to talk in platitudes: 厳密に’s Craig? Revel Horwood.

Now that would be a show 価値（がある） watching. Just as long as i t’s not on at the same time as 厳密に, of course.

Mr 社債's taking things too 本気で

Is Daniel Craig taking himself too 本気で? (pictured in 2006's Casino 王室の)

There are rumours that Daniel Craig has had enough of 存在 社債, 特に of 存在 identified with that 発射 of him 現れるing from the sea in tight trunks.

It’s a shame, 特に as most women never tire of looking at it.

But Craig never forgets he is a Serious Actor ― which means he takes himself very 本気で indeed.

Stephen King’s novels are 著名な for their （疑いを）晴らす, concise 令状ing.

A letter he’s written as part of a 調書をとる／予約する of celebrities’ advice to their teenage selves is no different.

His advice is simple: ‘Stay away from recreational 麻薬s.’

He 追加するs: ‘Remember that, like love, 抵抗 to 誘惑 makes the heart grow stronger.’

This should be on every 十代の少年少女’s bedroom 塀で囲む.

I 約束d I’d 報告（する）／憶測 on how my cash-only 実験 is going, and the answer is: Not 井戸／弁護士席.

I’ve fr equently 設立する myself at a till with no money, その結果 I 簡単に whip out my debit card.

Next week, I’m going to try to do this 適切に, taking out a 確かな 量 of cash at the start of the week and 生き残るing on it until the に引き続いて Monday.

This is how our mothers used to do it, and how I did it 30 years ago as a reporter on a 地元の newspaper. It can’t be that hard?.?.?. can it?

What a mighty mouth

I love Joan Rivers, who’s certainly one of the funniest, wittiest women alive.

She’s always been open about having cosmetic 外科, and in the new 問題／発行する of Hello! castigates Vogue editor Anna Wintour for wearing the same outfit to four events with the priceless quip: ‘I don’t even wear the same 直面する to different events.’

But if the 最新の pictures are anything to go by,? the 直面する she’s 現在／一般に wearing has a 重要な drawback, 特に for someone with such an 酸性の? tongue: she can’t の近くに her mouth.

Can't の近くに her mouth: Joan Rivers with Susan Lucci in New York City last week

Pointless Princess

Prince Andrew is a 王室の 海軍の 指揮官 with A-levels in English, history, 経済的なs and political science.

So 推定では he has a brain and is 有能な of using it.

Why, then, isn’t he able to see that his daughters Beatrice and Eugenie need to get 職業s and earn their living?

Instead, he’s 主張するing they be 許すd to carry out 王室の 義務s, to 確実にする they have status and 一連の会議、交渉／完成する-the-clock 保護.

It’s a betrayal of paternal 義務. His daughters are minor 王室のs ―? D-listers with no 役割 or 機能（する）／行事, who, with the 黙認 of their silly parents, lay themselves open 週刊誌 to 告訴，告発s of freeloading.

They don’t need status: they 猛烈に need the sense of 業績／成就 and 目的 that comes from hard work.

Why do so many women who are irritated by David Cameron’s money and class 固執する in 支援 the womanising Boris, whose background ― Eton and Oxford ― is the same?

It’s because Boris, with his shambolic manner and ill-fitting 控訴s, needs to be mothered and adored.

In other words, Boris needs them. But Cameron, with his perpetual sheen of self-信用／信任 and his successful, 最高の-stylish wife, doesn’t.

Why do so many women who are irritated by David Cameron's money and class?

What nine phone calls told me about our 病んでいる NHS

Last week, our GP recommended that my daughter have a 血 実験（する）.

It would be done at the 外科, but not by the doctor. 任命s could be made only by phoning an 0800 number.

I rang and 耐えるd 20 minutes of 存在 held in a 列 until I was disconnected.

I rang the 外科 to complain and was told to call their community desk. I did, only to find it continually engaged.

I called the 0800 number again. It still didn’t work. I called the GP’s receptionist again. She said I should keep trying the 0800 number. ‘It doesn’t work!’ I 抗議するd. She said she supposed I could try the? 地元の hospital.

I called our hospital. It was nothing to do with them; why didn’t I try the 最初の／主要な Care 信用 (PCT). I did. I was told there was nothing they could do, and that I should call the 0800 number. I 抗議するd ― and was given another number.

This time I spoke to a helpful 患者 advice 経営者／支配人. He told me ― surprise, surprise ― that the 0800 number wasn’t working, but he 約束d to （犯罪の）一味 me 支援する.

An hour later, he did ― and gave me another number. Finally ― on my ninth phone call ― I made an 任命 for the 血 実験（する）.

The last time I 遭遇（する）d such 公式の／役人 obduracy and inertia was in 共産主義者 Russia 25 years ago.

Yet we’re supposed to believe that the NHS will run more efficiently if more 力／強力にする is given to GPs ― who, によれば the health ombudsman, are banning 患者s who dare to make even a minor （民事の）告訴.

At the 危険 of 存在 struck off myself, I have to say I don’t 持つ／拘留する out much hope for the 未来 of the sickeningly over-bureaucratic NHS.

Sorry we are not 現在／一般に 受託するing comments on this article.