Forget 決意／決議s, having a 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of things you DON'T want to do is much more achievable

By Lorraine Candy for the Daily Mail
Updated: 23:19 BST, 4 January 2012

逆転する bucket 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）: 令状 負かす／撃墜する what you never want to do - and stick to it (提起する／ポーズをとるd by model)

Before I had four children, there were many small things about 存在 a mother which, I now know, I didn’t take into account. 明白に I recognised parenthood would be emotionally and 肉体的に painful (very), expensive (very) and rewarding (いつかs). But I hadn’t delved 完全に into the minutiae of day?to-day life as a mum.

率直に, if I’d been planning a 商売／仕事 buy-out, I’d have done more ‘予定 diligence’ before committing than I did when I 乗る，着手するd on the 抱擁する かかわり合い that is parenthood.

Who’d have thought, for example, that I’d have to do homework again two １０年間s after last 手渡すing it in? Or that I’d be eating dinner at 5pm on 週末s? Or that I could go on holiday only when everyone else with children went on holiday? (And, therefore, 耐える hellish return 旅行s by car, bus, train or 計画（する） that would 伴う／関わる tortuous 延期するs.)

I’m not 正確に／まさに sure at which point during the seven-hour 運動 支援する from Cornwall after the festive period that I felt under my seat for an ejector button, but I think it was after the five-year-old vomited chocolate muffin over me, before we discovered the baby’s three-day constipation was cured or as the dog coc ked his 脚 on the buggy in the 支援する of the car.

When we got out at the services, I was 現実に relieved it was 注ぐing with rain so that when we entered the building to clean up, at least a little of the in-car odour had been washed away.

支援する on the road, while we were parked up in the traffic jam that was the M5, talk turned to New Year’s 決意／決議s.

‘I’m going to sort out my 怒り／怒る 問題／発行するs,’ Gracie-in-the-middle, 老年の seven, said with unusual 成熟. She is a tempestuous child, so we all agreed this was a worthwhile 決意／決議. My 膝s thanked her in 前進する for not biting them in 激怒（する） any more .

The eldest 申し込む／申し出d up: ‘Chew with my mouth の近くにd’ ― admirable and 有益な to us all. And the boy, 老年の five, volunteered that he would learn all the lyrics to Beyonce’s 選び出す／独身 Ladies (Put A （犯罪の）一味 On It) so we could get past the ‘All the 選び出す／独身 ladies’ (repeat) part of the song.

Unfortunately, the car sickness makes him peculiarly delirious and he rambles on relentlessly like an annoying, drunken, 年輩の 親族 on New Year’s Eve. It’s amusing 最初, but by hour six you tire of the repeated questions, 特に if you’re not drunk.

‘Is Heaven on Fourth and Broadway?’ he asked me for the fifth time.

‘No,’ I replied, ‘as I said before, Heaven is a 疑わしい 概念, but every time you ask me where it is you’re one step その上の to finding out.’

本人自身で, I don’t do 決意／決議s. It’s rare for me to think more than 15 minutes ahead, so 決意／決議s are meaningless. But I had つまずくd across a novel idea earlier (on the internet) which I 申し込む／申し出d up in lieu of 決意／決議s: the 逆転する bucket 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）.

Instead of 令状ing a 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of things you want to do before you die (a bucket 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）), you 令状 a 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of the things you don’t want to do (直面する your 恐れるs, eat beetroot, etc.). This is more achievable.

So, before I die, I will not be doing any of the に引き続いて:

• Teaching in an inner-city school. I once believed I had the patience and teenage mindset to be a teacher; having had kids, I know this is a ridiculous fantasy and no t a reserve career.
• Going on a detox which 伴う／関わるs cutting out alcohol, caffeine or sugar from my life.
• Going on holiday with people who 辞退する to drink before 7pm.
• Skypeing anyone. I won’t 生き残る another: ‘Oh I can see you, yes I can! Hang on a minute, no I can’t. There you are! Amazing?.?.?.?gone again’ conversation.
• Play Scrabble. I may be a 新聞記者／雑誌記者, but a meerkat knows more long words and is a better speller than?me.
• Find out who or what a Kardashian is. The moment someone told me it was nothing to do with 星／主役にする Trek I lost 利益／興味.
• Ask Mr Candy to show me the ‘I can see your 膵臓’ ビデオ he made of my last C-section.
• Call the receptionist, whom I consider the world’s rudest and most unhelpful woman, ‘Frumpy Pig 肌’ (it’s a Shrek-関係のある 侮辱) under my?breath.
• Panic. It’s over-率d.
• Get in a car with my children unless I’ve taken enough sedatives to fell an elephant and all its 親族s.

Lorraine CANDY is editor-in-長，指導者? of ELLE magazine.

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