A mum-to-be is 支払う／賃金ing £4,000 for a personal midwife after a nightmare on the NHS: And this mother, left 深く，強烈に traumatised by the birth of her second child, is far from alone

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Parenthood, it いつかs seems, is a 一連の ecstatic highs and 衝突，墜落ing lows. And so it was with the birth of my first two children.

Isobel, my eldest, now five, arrived without 出来事/事件 on a sunny September morning in 2010. I was 調書をとる／予約するd in to give birth at a London hospital. As is the norm nowadays, I hadn’t seen the same midwife twice during my pregnancy and had no idea who I was going to 遭遇（する） on the 労働 区. But, at 31, I was blithely unconcerned. Indeed, my arrogance about the whole thing now makes me wince: my 概念 of motherhood didn’t 延長する beyond the rails of pastel BabyGros I ぐずぐず残るd over in John 吊りくさび.

And, as it turns out, I was lucky. My midwife on the 区 that day was a lovely Frenchwoman called Celine, who すぐに made me feel 安全な. Everything went to 計画（する） and 45 minutes after I arrived at the hospital my daughter was born. I felt cartoonishly 陶酔的な and 感謝する, even 審議ing calling my baby Celine for about an hour afterwards.

Rebecca Ley, mum to Isobel, five, and son Felix, two, is 雇うing a £4,400 私的な midwife for her third pregnancy

But when I became 妊娠している with my son, the 欠如（する） of 連続 of care during the pregnancy bothered me more.

I knew by then that births didn’t always go 井戸／弁護士席 - sad stories lurk behind the chocolate 薄焼きパン／素焼陶器s at all those mummy coffee mornings.

All the same, I hoped for the best. Sadly, that was to be anything but the 事例／患者.

My son Felix, now two, （機の）カム out even more quickly than his sister, 吸い込むing meconium, which is a baby’s first bowel movement, on the way.

When a baby passes meconium before birth, it can be a 調印する of 苦しめる or いつかs lead to 複雑化s. In Felix’s 事例／患者, it meant that when I tried to breastfeed him, he turned blue.

It later 現れるd, thanks to a chest X?ray when he was hours old, that he had a tiny patch of meconium on his 肺s, which was 妨げるing him breathing 適切に when he tried to 料金d.

Her son Felix, left, 吸い込むd his own bowel movement during the birth, stopping him from breathing 適切に

At the point when the colour started seeping out of him, the oxygen saturation in his 血 perilously low, he was still on my breast and my husband and I were alone in the room where he had been born.

This is 基準 practice I believe, as long as everything seems 承認する with the baby. Felix had been checked over by a paediatrician after birth, because of the meconium in my waters when they broke, but had seemed 罰金.

I shouted at my husband to fetch someone. He returned minutes later with the midwife who had 配達するd Felix and she 速く 警報d a paediatrician, who 素早い行動d our son to 集中的な care.

While she technically did what she was supposed to throughout, I 設立する her いっそう少なく 同情的な than the one I’d had for my daughter’s birth. During my 早い 労働, she singularly failed to make me feel supported or 安全な, even ticking me off at one point for maki ng too much noise.

Rebecca says her midwife during her birth with Felix told her off for making too much noise and left her alone when her son was 急ぐd to 集中的な care

And when Felix disappeared to 集中的な care, along with my husband, she was briskly dismissive of what was happening to us - a 外傷／ショック more 激烈な／緊急の than anything I had ever experienced.

‘Try and eat your lunch,’ she said, shrugging at my 苦しめる, as if I was making an unnecessary fuss. Then she disappeared, never to be seen again, leaving me alone, sobbing and surrounded by my own 血.

It was almost a week before we were able to bring our son home. An awful week of 抗生物質s 治めるd into his tiny left arm, a lumbar 穴をあける on his three-day old spine to 支配する out meningitis, tearful 試みる／企てるs on my part in the middle of the night to 表明する breast milk to take to him in 集中的な care and the awful, 鎮圧するing loneliness as I later sat alone on a noisy 労働 区, surrounded by other women and their babies.

Felix has been left with no ill-影響s from his difficult start. But when I 設立する myself 妊娠している for the third time, 老年の 36 and 予定 next February, I was gripped with 苦悩 about the birth.

That is why, at 18 weeks 妊娠している, I made the 決定／判定勝ち（する） to 雇う a 私的な midwife.

At £4,400 it is far from a cheap 選択. I also know it’s no cast-アイロンをかける 保証（人） of a smooth 配達／演説／出産. But I am 決定するd to have a friendly, supportive 直面する by my 味方する when I go into 労働 this time - and not just that of my husband.

I am 簡単に not 用意が出来ている to play the 宝くじ of not having a 手がかり（を与える） who I will 遭遇（する） in the 配達／演説／出産 room. For while I can’t fault the care Felix received when he was 本気で ill -the 批判的な care was 模範的な - so much around the 辛勝する／優位s was wanting.

It’s a simple fact that the personal touch has been stripped away in so many 面s of healthcare in this country. With so much 需要・要求する upon 資源s, perhaps it’s 平易な to see why it hasn’t been prioritised, but the cumulative cost is something we still can’t fully fathom.

I’ve never seen the same GP twice at my busy London 外科 - and so it was with maternity services. Yet it seems obvious to me that this is a 抱擁する mistake. 連続 of care isn’t just a 高級な, it’s something that can hugely 改善する 結果s in pregnancy and birth.

A review of 13 裁判，公判s from 2013 伴う／関わるing 16,242 women and comparing those who received midwife -led 連続 of care with medically led and ‘株d care’ (where doctors and midwives are 平等に responsible), 設立する that the midwife-led model had 重要な 利益s for mothers and babies.

Yet, unless you are lucky enough to live in one of the small pockets around the country where it is still 申し込む／申し出d, it won’t be on the 協議事項.

In a NHS 信用 調査する from 2010, 22 per cent of women 報告（する）／憶測d 存在 left alone in 労働 and すぐに after the birth.

Sam O’Brien is a spokesperson for the organisation that 代表するs the self-雇うd health 労働者s, 独立した・無所属 Midwives UK (IMUK).

‘Once upon a time, all midwives were 独立した・無所属, working autonomously with a small caseload of women, 申し込む／申し出ing one-to-one care. Unfortunately, that’s no longer the 事例／患者 in large areas of the health service,’ says Sam.

That is why many women like me are 雇うing their own midwife. The 料金 I’m 支払う／賃金ing 含むs a 協議, 調書をとる／予約するing-in 任命, four antenatal visits, the birth and four postnatal 任命s.

Another 1,500 women are choosing this 選択 every year. Many will have had bad experiences in the NHS.

‘A 重要な number also want home births, which are not always 利用できる in our overstretched health service, にもかかわらず NICE [国家の 学校／設ける for Health and Care Excellence] 指導基準s 確認するing it as the safest choice for many women,’ says Sam O’Brien.

This time around I might consider a home birth. Yet if I do 結局最後にはーなる in hospital, then the 私的な midwife I’ve chosen won’t 合法的に be able to 配達する my baby.

As Sam says: ‘Very few 独立した・無所属 midwives have “名誉として与えられる 契約s” with hospitals, so for a planned hospital birth or 移転 to hospital, you will usually be cared for by a hospital midwife. Your 独立した・無所属 midwife can remain with you, but as a birth companion and 支持する.’

Even though my midwife won’t 合法的に be able to 配達する my baby in the hospital, it doesn’t alter my 決定／判定勝ち（する）.

For months after Felix’s birth, I 絶えず replayed those minutes we were left alone with him when, dazed from the birth and exhausted, I had to 位置／汚点／見つけ出す what was happening and raise the alarm. I shudder to think what could have happened if I’d taken even a few more minutes to notice.

Rebecca says she is 決定するd to have a midwife she knows to support her through her next birth

So this time, I want someone who has the time to stay by my 味方する for longer and doesn’t need to 急ぐ off to 補助装置 at another birth in the conveyor-belt 環境 of a busy NHS 区.

All 独立した・無所属 midwives are trained, qualified and 登録（する）d in 正確に／まさに the same way as those working in the NHS. But I’ll 収容する／認める to 存在 worried that the NHS ones won’t like the fact I’ve brought in my own.

As Sam says: ‘There have been 残念な instances of 独立した・無所属 midwives not feeling 完全に welcome - some health 信用s are いっそう少なく used to working with them than others - but, thankfully for all, this is rare these days.’

A more 楽観的な シナリオ is that the overstretched midwives at a London hospital might be glad to see an extra pair of 手渡すs. It took me a while to find the 権利 私的な midwife before 会合 Nyree Wright, who 作品 at 下落する Femme (sagefemme.co.uk). In the past year she has 配達するd the babies of two of my friends, so she （機の）カム 本人自身で recommended.

But more important than that, she made me feel 安全な and 静める at our 協議, which is how I would like to feel when I go into 労働.

にもかかわらず 存在 in the admittedly fortunate position of 存在 able to 雇う a 私的な midwife, like most 妊娠している women, I’m still nervous about what lies ahead; luck is an important factor in any birth. Many elements are out of my 支配（する）／統制する, but thankfully, this time, the 身元 of the midwife who will be at my 味方する is not one of them.