The eight 推論する／理由s 90% of women are attracted to a man who is taken (and why you should always 避ける 事実上の／代理 on it)

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Even nice, decent 選び出す／独身 women are いつかs attracted to married men.

I’ve always bristled when men 誇る they’ve never got more attention than when they put a （犯罪の）一味 on their finger.

In my experience, people get 攻撃する，衝突する on when they send out ‘I’m 利用できる’ signals and are on the 警報 for attention, not because they’re married.

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Tracey Cox 明らかにする／漏らすs 90 per cent of women have 明らかにする／漏らすd they are 利益／興味d in a man they believe to be taken

But you only need to look at shows like Love Island or Big Brother to see 証拠 that other people’s partners are definitely not off 限界s (at least to a 確かな type of person).

One reputable, sizable 熟考する／考慮する (done in 2009) 設立する 90 per cent of 選び出す／独身 women were 利益／興味d in a man they believed was taken, while a mere 59 per cent 手配中の，お尋ね者 him when told he was 選び出す／独身.

There are plenty of unsavoury 推論する／理由s why both men and women indulge in ‘mate-poaching ’.

Some do it for a narcissistic ego-上げる (if I can 涙／ほころび him away from his wife and kids then I must be really special), others do it because they have intimacy 問題／発行するs (if the person can’t commit to you then you don’t need to commit to them).

People are 競争の激しい and some can’t resist a challenge 関わりなく the destructive fallout (I bet I could get you to leave them if you could have me instead).

Tracey 明らかにする／漏らすs that there are many decent people who would 自白する to having feelings for someone who is taken but say they would never 行為／法令／行動する on it and feel 極端に 有罪の because of it

Then there’s the Ashley Madison 推論する／理由 of 簡単に wanting no-strings sex and 人物／姿／数字ing someone who’s married is far いっそう少なく likely to want anything other than sex from you if they’re have someone who loves them at home.

Far more fascinating, though, are the decent people who 自白する to finding married people attractive ? often the spouses of their の近くに friends.

While these people would NEVER 現実に 行為／法令／行動する on the attraction, they will 収容する／認める it’s definitely there - and feel horrendously 有罪の and ashamed about it.

What’s the psychology behind someone nice finding someone who is already taken 望ましい, when it’s 明確に not a very nice thing to do?

Is it really true that ‘all the good ones are taken’ ? or are there more innocent 推論する／理由s at play?

Happily, the answer to that is yes.

1. Animals do it

It’s called ‘mate-choice copying’ or ‘mate poaching’: 女性（の）s of 確かな 種類 (含むing animals, fish and birds) prefer males who have been seen with other 女性（の）s or mated with other 女性（の）s.

2. Both sexes are 有罪の ? for different 推論する／理由s

A 2010 熟考する／考慮する 設立する women are much more likely to fancy 大（公）使館員d men than men are 大（公）使館員d women.

But it’s not because men are morally superior ? they’re 簡単に attracted to women whether they’re 選び出す／独身 or married.

Contrary to popular opinion, men aren’t 免疫の to the ‘wedding （犯罪の）一味 現象’ and are much more likely to 現実に 行為／法令／行動する on the attraction.

Tracey says that?‘mate-choice copying’ is something that animals do too

In one 熟考する／考慮する, 60 per cent of men, compared to 38 per cent of women, 認める to 試みる／企てるing to sleep with someone who was already taken.

Men are far いっそう少なく 差別するing in their search for 性の partners 一般に and will 追求する women 関わりなく their 関係 status.

3. Married people have 証明するd they can commit

If a man’s already married, it’s solid proof he isn’t a かかわり合い phobe and can 現実に follow through on 約束s.

If you’ve just been 捨てるd by yet another guy who didn’t want to be ‘tied 負かす／撃墜する’, a man who is married is 高度に 控訴，上告ing because of this 論証するd capacity for かかわり合い.

He’s 証明するd he’s stable and reliable - likely to stick around when the going gets 堅い.

These are hugely attractive 質s to women who’ve been let 負かす／撃墜する by flaky men who can’t even be relied on to turn up, let alone stand by them in a 危機.

4. If you know him 井戸／弁護士席, you’re seen first 手渡す how 充てるd he is

If you’re a の近くに friend of the couple, you’ve seen this man in 活動／戦闘.

If he’s a nice bloke, this means helping her with the dishes, spooning baby food into their toddler’s mouth, looking after her when she’s sick, doing the chores.

You’ve heard from her how supportive he’s been and how all-一連の会議、交渉／完成する fantastic he is.

If hubby senses you have a bit of a 鎮圧する on him, he’s on best behaviour while you’re there ? not for dodgy 推論する／理由s but 簡単に because it’s flattering to be admired.

If he has children, he’s even more 控訴，上告ing: you have proof he’d be a 広大な／多数の／重要な father.

5. He’s become your confidante

It’s やめる ありふれた for the husband or male partner of a good friend to become the person who deciphers all the 混乱させるing male behaviour a 選び出す／独身 girlfriend struggles with.

He not only sheds light on what’s going on in the murky male psyche, he invariably 現在のs himself as one of the nice guys who would never behave like the b*****d you’re complaining about.

He has to: his wife or partner is nearly always there 同様に!

It’s very 平易な to start idealising and wistfully thinking (If only I could clone マイク/Dave/John. Why aren’t there more men like him!).

6. He doesn’t have ulterior 動機s

Taken men are also 控訴，上告ing because they’re not just 説 those nice things to get women into bed.

His compliments seem more 本物の ? making him more likeable.

7. Married people are grown-ups

When I met my fianc?, I was even more attracted to him when I 設立する out he had a daughter from a previous marriage.

選び出す／独身 dads who 株 保護／拘留 for their children are far more likely to be responsible adults than men who 港／避難所’t had someone 扶養家族 on them.

It’s the same logic with married men.

Almost all the 統計（学） on 選び出す／独身 men vs married men 落ちる in the married man’s favour.

Married men are healthier, more likely to be 雇うd and more responsible: infinitely more 控訴，上告ing than some guy who still lives at home with his parents, gets his washing done by mum and is still ‘finding his feet’ career wise at the age of 35.

She 収容する／認めるs that men are just as bad as women when it comes to 存在 attracted to lusting after someone who is married

大（公）使館員d people are also more 確信して and happier.

He’s far いっそう少なく 貧困の and (over) eager to please if he’s already landed a fantastic partner who loves and supports him and 信用／信任 has always been 磁石の.

8. If he’s making someone we really like and admire happy, he must be special

Ironically, the more you like your friend and the happier you think she is, the more likely you are to see her partner as attractive.

If she’s 広大な／多数の／重要な, then he must be amazing to keep her 満足させるd.

This is 特に likely if you also think your friend is very attractive.

によれば one 熟考する／考慮する (2010), the better looking the man’s partner, the more 控訴，上告ing the man is.

The 逆転する also 適用するs: even men with model good looks lose points if they’re with a woman who isn’t attractive.

It makes us 怪しげな ? is there a fault that isn’t 明らかな?

Why has he ended up with someone who isn’t as good looking as he is?

With all of these perfectly plausible 推論する／理由s to explain why you’d fancy someone who is taken, why then don’t most (decent) women 行為／法令／行動する on the attraction?

Most people don’t male-poach for even better 推論する／理由s.

1. You have morals

You love your friend and value the friendship: why on earth would you consider doing something that would 荒廃させる her?

2. Who wants a cheat?

If the guy’s going to cheat on his partner with you, he’s probably going to cheat on you with someone else.

‘Mate poaching’ is a contradictory 現象: you’re attracted to someone because they’re 有能な of かかわり合い but if you’re able to seduce them, they’re 明確に not 有能な of behaving in a committed way.

Honestly, 信用, 尊敬（する）・点 ? all of these are high on most people’s 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of wants in a partner and all are すぐに struck off when you/they are unfaithful.

3. You have way too much 信用／信任 to settle for someone else’s leftovers

A 2007 熟考する／考慮する 設立する women who were 確信して men 設立する them attractive and who’d had more sex partners, were いっそう少なく likely to fancy 大（公）使館員d men, let alone 行為／法令／行動する on the attraction.

Which makes perfect sense.

Why would you choose all the 破壊 and 演劇 of stealing someone else’s man, when you are perfectly 有能な of attracting a 望ましい 利用できる person?

4. Fantasies are 一般に best left as fantasies

Most 関係s that begin from an 事件／事情／状勢 don’t last ? and not just for the jealousy factor of knowing you’re both 有能な of cheating.

Few people live up to our fantasies of what we think they’ll be like - 特に if you live with someone 24/7 - with most ending up disappointed.

In short: be careful what you wish for.

For more of Tracey’s 見解（をとる）s and 製品 範囲, visit traceycox.com.?For her 調書をとる／予約するs, visit her amazon page.

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