My dogs wouldn't attack your obnoxious kids...but I might, 令状s LIZ JONES?
Liz Jones with her dog Sam in 2012
On Thursday, I took my two 国境 collies for a walk.?
I always carry poo 捕らえる、獲得するs, and a 運送／保菌者 捕らえる、獲得する to collect empty cans, sports drink 瓶／封じ込めるs, 甘い wrappers.?
They were both off the lead, and we turned into a 跡をつける 主要な up to the door of a church.?
Suddenly, I heard 叫び声をあげるing.
I looked up, and a grey-haired woman was leaning out a window, shouting and waving.?I thought she was 説 hello, welcoming me to the neighbourhood; I’ve only lived here, on the 辛勝する／優位 of Richmond, North Yorkshire, for a few weeks. ‘Hello!’ I said, waving 支援する. ‘How nice to 会合，会う you 適切に!’
‘Nooooo!’ she yelled, waving me away so vigorously I 恐れるd she was going to 倒れる out. ‘Go baaaack!!!! Waaah!!!! You can’t walk your dogs here!!!!”
‘But how do people get to the church door?’
‘They don’t!’
Her son later （機の）カム 一連の会議、交渉／完成する to apologise for the shouting. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to read the inscriptions on the tombstones. I’m new here, where can I walk my dogs?’
‘In the parkland in 前線 of your house.’
‘No, I tried that. I got an email from angry 隣人s telling me they have to stay on a lead. But they’re collies. They need 12 miles a day.’
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‘You can walk them on the road,’ he said helpfully. The other day, a friend who lives 近づく me was in a field, tending her horses.?
Her dog, a terrier cross, was 匂いをかぐing in the next field. He （機の）カム barrelling up to her, tail between his 脚s, followed by an angry 農業者. ‘Your dog was in the field with 妊娠している sheep! If I have eight 中止するd lambs, I’m sending you the 法案!’< /p>
This is a dog who once spent three nights sleeping with an 孤児d blind lamb to give her warmth and safety.
Liz with Gracie, her 救助（する）d collie puppy: She says, 'I recently experienced trouble finding a 所有物／資産／財産 to rent, even in a 国家の Park, 簡単に because I have dogs'
In the summer, it was so hot I couldn’t leave my dogs in the car, 特に as one, who has since died, was frail. I was desperate for something to eat, so asked at a cafe 位置を示すd inside what was once an old 鉄道 駅／配置する, with 固める／コンクリート 床に打ち倒すs, plastic 議長，司会を務めるs, on the 辛勝する／優位 of the Yorkshire Dales, surely a place where people are likely to have dogs, if I could please bring my dogs inside, as they might die.?
The place wasn’t 正確に／まさに Farmacy in Notting Hill; and even Farmacy in Notting Hill is dog friendly. ‘No,’ the waitress said. ‘You can tie them up outside.’
When I finally 設立する a dog-friendly restaurant (The Saddle Room 近づく Leyburn; it’s 血まみれの marvellous), the family at the next-door （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する with noisy children who 明白に 港／避難所’t been taught how to sit on 議長，司会を務めるs or 持つ／拘留する forks (though the pasta thrown to the 床に打ち倒す led to an impromptu 軽食), 召喚するd the waiter and asked for me and my two collies to be moved.
They were worried about the safety of their children; they should have been more 関心d about what I might do.
I recently experienced a 抱擁する 量 of trouble finding a 所有物／資産／財産 to rent, even in a 国家の Park, 簡単に because I have dogs.
My feeling is that, if you have an aversion to collies, don’t live in the Yorkshire Dales
My feeling is that, if you have an aversion to collies, don’t live in the Yorkshire Dales.
I did 現実に say this to the landlord of a 率直に awful cottage on a main road with swirly carpet, kitchen tiles 描写するing sheaves of corn and a boarded-up fireplace. He’d 辞退するd to rent to me 簡単に because I have dogs. Why would you live in a village surrounded by mountains but no culture, and certainly no Selfridges, if you don’t have a dog?
Even upmarket hotels have insane dog 政策s. Take one 高級な hotel in the middle of the Cotswolds. It’s 罰金 with one dog per 調書をとる／予約するing ? as long as the dog is ‘below 膝 高さ’. It depends where your 膝s are, doesn’t it?
And how about a 政策 banning overweight men who wear vests and trainers, or children who 叫び声をあげる at the 最高の，を越す of their 肺s?
I’ve been obsessed over the last few days, reading about the 殺人 of children’s author Helen Bailey. I keep looking at the photo of her on a sofa with her miniature dachshund, Boris, loyal to the end.
Dogs give the sick a 推論する／理由 to live, and ‘women in the autumn of their years’, as one newspaper put it, women like Helen and me (I’d 反対する a dog 確実にするs I’m in my prime!), the most loving companions we could かもしれない wish for.
On a walk yesterday on a public footpath by the Swale, renovated with a cost to the taxpayer of many millions, I was met with a 調印する that said: ‘予定 to the danger to waterfowl and ducks, please keep your dog on a lead.’
The world’s gone mad.
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