Why you MUST be 勇敢に立ち向かう enough to tell off other people's children in your home

Should you ever tell off other people's children? Not so long ago, no one would have even asked this question - most reasonable adults would have thought the answer such an obvious and emphatic "Yes!"

The fact that we dither over it now, and - if we say "yes" - qualify it with all sorts of provisos, illustrates just how far 負かす／撃墜する the road we have come in letting our children 支配する.

The question has troubled me lately because of the behaviour of a particular child. Such is the 明言する／公表する of modern manners that, like most mothers, I am not easily shocked.

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I know plenty of children who 船 across the threshold unbidden, who 需要・要求する food and 甘いs, who jump on the furniture and 答える／応じる to an 招待 to stay to tea with, "What are you having?" rather than, "Yes, please" or "No, thank you".

But this boy, 老年の nine, appalled even me. He had come to play with my son Tony, who is eight, and he approached the tea （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する and the 緊急発進するd eggs on toast he had requested with a swagger and 宣言するd: "Yuck, I'm not eating that! Do you always 燃やす the toast?"

There was no obvious excuse for this rudeness: the toast may have been half a shade darker than he likes it, but it certainly wasn't burnt. He's an infrequent 訪問者 so you couldn't argue that familiarity explained the contempt.

But にもかかわらず the fact that his sheer cheek, arrogance and rudeness astonished me, I let it go. The child skipped out of my door unchecked. Apart from a discussion with my own son about how bad I considered the behaviour, I did nothing - and, as a result, was left feeling somewhat 減らすd by the whole experience.

Afterwards, I thought about it long and hard and dec ided that what had held me 支援する was a 願望（する） not to upset the 訪問者, or worse, make him cry, and an 不本意 to embarrass my own child in 前線 of a guest.

I asked my friends and 同僚s what they would have done and they all 表明するd the same unease, 自白するing to ignoring bad behaviour out of a 恐れる that if a child became 苦しめるd, they would be regarded as, at best, a tyrant and at worst, some sort of deranged abuser.

Yet when I was a child, adults were sublimely 確信して in their 当局. Children played outside rather than indoors, where they would encroach on adults' 領土.

I can 解任する 存在 told off by friends' parents for misdemeanours 含むing 匂いをかぐing and fidgeting. A friend's mother used to stop the car when she passed 十代の少年少女s smoking, roll 負かす／撃墜する the window and tell them off.

She 推論する／理由d that this served a 二重の 目的; it shamed the 十代の少年少女s and, if her own children were 乗客s in the car, it 保護するd their health by 増強するing an antismoking message.

So have times and 態度s changed so much that we can't tick off another person's child, even in our own homes? And if so, why this 崩壊（する） in 信用／信任?

I decided to canvass some 専門家 advice. I went first to Uanu Seshmi, who runs the From Boyhood To Manhood 創立／基礎, a small charity to help boys 除外するd from school 修正する their behaviour.

The 創立／基礎 has an excellent 記録，記録的な／記録する of success and its work has been 裁判官d by Ofsted to be 優れた. Mr Seshmi believes a 一連の スキャンダルs 伴う／関わるing the 乱用 of children in the Eighties concentrated public and professional attention on children's "権利s".

"Now, it has gone too far," he said, "and we need to remember that all of us, even children, have 責任／義務s 同様に as 権利s. Even eight-year-old boys must 扱う／治療する others with consideration and 尊敬（する）・点."

Should I have told off my young 訪問者? "Of course you should," he said, without any hesitation. "In fact it is your 義務 to 始める，決める him straight. If his paren ts have instilled good manners in him then he is 存在 rude to you

because he thinks he can get away with it.

"You must point up the bad behaviour to 増強する what the boy's own parents have said. If they 港／避難所't taught him manners, then you should try, at least while he is under your roof."

Penny Palmano agrees. She is author of the excellent Yes, Please. Thanks! A Guide To Teaching Children Manners. I often 協議する it to encourage politeness in my son.

She said: "You must 始める，決める the 基準s in your own home. In your home, your 支配するs 適用する. There is no need to get angry, just explain that what is 存在 done or said isn't 許容できる, that you don't 許す your children to do it and so you cannot 許す them."

I was emboldened by this advice when the rude boy （機の）カム to tea again (yes, at least I could bring myself to have him 支援する).

I served lamb chops. When he shouted, "I can't eat this, these chops are 冷淡な", I explained that I had made an 成果／努力 with the meal and it was rude to criticise it.

He blanched - 確認するing my 疑惑s that he understood only too 井戸／弁護士席 how rude he was 存在, but considered me a soft touch. He then ate the "冷淡な" chops without a murmur, and, when he had finished, thanked me for a lovely meal.

So yes, the 専門家s were 権利. We shouldn't need to be reminded that grown-ups know best, or that children, if raised to be polite, will thank us for it in the end.

In my own home it will be no more Mrs Ditherer. I have decided to get 堅い. I don't take rudeness from adults, so why should I 受託する it from children?