The cruel deception that means I can never truly love my daughter: Father 明らかにする／漏らすs anguish over seven-year 合法的な 戦う／戦い with ex-partner who (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むd his 署名 on IVF form to get 妊娠している

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The text arrived on Valentine’s Day, and the life-changing news it 含む／封じ込めるd was just in one throwaway line: ‘By the way, I’m 妊娠している.’

Few such messages ― usually a 原因（となる） for 祝賀 and delight ― can have 刺激するd such びっくり仰天 and 不信. The fact that the mother-to-be and the baby’s father ― neither of whom can be identified for 合法的な 推論する／理由s ― had 分裂（する） up nine months earlier was only part of the problem.

More 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の and disquieting was the way in which the baby had been conceived. ‘Through deceit, 偽証 and 怠慢，過失,’ says her father today, ‘within a system of unregulated clinics that operate like the Wild West’.

On receiving the text from his ex ― with whom he already had a son by IVF ― he says he knew 即時に that she had been 伴う／関わるd in some form of chicanery to become 妊娠している for a second time. ‘My 即座の thought was that she had retrieved a frozen embryo that had been 蓄える／店d at the IVF clinic and fertilised with my sperm, then tricked doctors that I had given my 同意 for it to be implanted,’ he says.

The man, who has his own design and marketing 商売／仕事, had his 署名 (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むd and his ex-partner was able to conceive a child using his sperm

His 査定／評価 could not have been more 正確な, for it later 現れるd that his former partner had (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むd his 署名 on a 同意 form, duping doctors at the clinic, IVF Hammersmith, in West London, into believing he had agreed to the impregnation.

The man, who has his own design and marketing 商売／仕事, is 豊富な, 中央の-40s, tanned from a 最近の holiday and dressed in expensive designer casuals.

When we 会合，会う in a London hotel he makes an 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の admission about the daughter, born in July 2011 and now 老年の seven, whom he fathered without his knowledge or 同意.

‘She is beautiful, charming; lovely but the truth is, I don’t have a 深遠な or special attachment to her and because of that I feel 有罪の,’ he says. ‘She’s part of my family, but different and that’s 極端に difficult to を取り引きする. She’s a constant 思い出の品 of the 苦痛 the unplanned event of her birth has brought to me. It’s always there.’

The father, who has since married and had a third child with his wife, 収容する／認めるs: ‘I don’t feel the same way about my daughter as I do about my other children. There’s an emotional blockage.

‘You may ask why I support her financially, why I have anything to do with her. I am a trustee of a charity that helps abandoned children and my 義務 is to do my best for her. I know the 損失 it does when estranged parents look away.’

He 対策 his words carefully, 重さを計るing the significance of each one; at times seeming to 持つ／拘留する 支援する 涙／ほころびs. He and the little girl’s mother, a teacher, a re intelligent, articulate and 井戸／弁護士席-educated. They met in 2005 and although they quickly realised they were 相いれない, decided a child might 供給する the glue to 持つ／拘留する the 関係 together.

‘We aren’t the first couple to make that mistake and we won’t be the last,’ he says ruefully.

However, the woman was unable to conceive 自然に and they had a baby boy by IVF. ‘But the birth was so awful she 苦しむd from 地位，任命する-traumatic 強調する／ストレス,’ he 解任するs. ‘And the 関係 fell apart.’

He says he felt ‘shock, desperation and panic’, when he learned she was 妊娠している for a second time.

‘My ex-partner was 攻撃を受けやすい because she was desperate to have a child, which 押し進めるd her over the 辛勝する／優位 of emotional 安定 and 合理的な／理性的な thought and made her do something 完全に crazy.

‘She is a 犠牲者 in this 事例／患者 同様に as me because the clinic, 同様に as failing to check that I had given my 知らせるd 同意, also 偉業／利用するd her vulnerability.’

The father duly 告訴するd IVF Hammersmith for the six-人物／姿／数字 cost of his daughter’s しつけ ― to 含む the 料金s for her 私的な schooling, skiing holidays and a nanny ― but 控訴，上告 法廷，裁判所 裁判官s last month 支配するd that it was ‘morally 容認できない’ to regard a child, who should be 見解（をとる）d as a blessing, as a ‘財政上の 義務／負債’, and he will not receive a penny.

However, he ーするつもりであるs to 控訴，上告 again, to the 最高裁判所, not just to 基金 his daughter’s しつけ, but also to try to retrieve some of his £750,000 法廷，裁判所 costs, which he re-mortgaged his house to 支払う／賃金.

一方／合間, he says, he feels vindicated because the 法廷，裁判所 事例／患者 has exposed the clinic’s malpractice and the 失敗s of its regulator, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology 当局 (HFEA).

‘It has shone a light on the 無資格／無能力 of the clinic which has been 設立する wanting,’ he says.

‘It was in 違反 of its 契約 in not 捜し出すing my 同意 for the embryo to be implanted.

‘These clinics are operating like the Wild West. This notion that there is a policeman ― the HFEA ― looking out for the 利益／興味s of the 消費者, is a 完全にする fiction.

‘The clinic has not been 許可／制裁d. The HFEA has asked it to do nothing. Yet this is a major 出来事/事件. It is 強いるd to 調査／捜査する it and 報告（する）／憶測 on it, but it has done neither.

‘It has 行為／法令／行動するd as if nothing has happened. The HFEA does not have a 消費者 支持する／優勝者 on its board. Its members have an 利益／興味 in the 産業 but not in 保護するing the public.

‘If it had taken my 事例／患者 本気で I wouldn’t have needed to go to 法廷，裁判所. As it is, the clinic 侮辱する／軽蔑するd 医療の 倫理学 and carried out a 手続き without my 同意, and such an 不正 could not go unheard.’

How was such an abject procedural 失敗 許すd to happen?

The story began when the couple 乗る，着手するd on IVF to have a child together. ‘First, we 登録（する）d with the NHS, but the 過程 is painfully slow, so while we were waiting we had six 試みる／企てるs at 私的な clinics, all of which failed,’ he 解任するs.

‘Every 一連の会議、交渉／完成する cost between £3,000 and £4,000 and we were sold a lot of extras: ざっと目を通すs, 血 実験（する）s, reviews, all of which were irrelevant and unnecessary ― which we did not realise until 結局 our no-frills NHS 一連の会議、交渉／完成する （機の）カム up.’

IVF Hammersmith was then 事実上の／代理 as an スパイ／執行官 for the NHS to 供給する this service, and although the 公然と-基金d 試みる／企てる was basic, unlike the 私的な 手続きs, it was successful: the couple had a son in November 2008.

After the birth, IVF Hammersmith, ‘flipped into sales 方式,’ says the father. ‘They 申し込む／申し出d to 凍結する five of our embryos should we wish to use them at a later date.’

The clinic 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金d £275 ― to be collected 毎年 ― for the service, and the father says, ‘I felt 確信して that the embryos would not be used without the 知らせるd 同意 of both me and the mother.

On receiving the text from his ex ― with whom he already had a son by IVF ― he says he knew 即時に that she had been 伴う／関わるd in some form of chicanery to become 妊娠している for a second time?(在庫／株 image)

‘It seemed a very 井戸／弁護士席-managed and 安全な・保証する 過程.’

But the birth failed to 傷をいやす／和解させる the 不和 in their ますます fractious 関係 and they 分裂（する） in May 2010 after five years together.

A rancorous and fraught few months followed in which the father, through the family 法廷，裁判所, sought 接近 to his son.

They were 結局 認めるd 株d parental 責任／義務, ‘although in 影響, this meant I saw my son every other 週末 because we lived too far apart for me to look after him 50 per cent of the time’, the father says.

He 追加するs: ‘I saw my son 純粋に on his mother’s 条件. She’d send me tirades of abusive messages ― she was 苦しむing from 地位，任命する-誕生の 不景気 同様に as the 強調する／ストレス of a traumatic birth ― and 交渉するing visits was like trying to 避ける walking on a landmine. But I tried to stay 静める.’

It was against this 背景 that she sent the text on February 14, 2011, casually 発表するing her second pregnancy. By then her ex-partner had begun a 関係 with the woman who would become his wife.

‘At the same time I was trying to 交渉する one-to-one 接触する with my son, so I took a softly, softly approach with my ex,’ he says.

‘I 接触するd IVF Hammersmith, who 押し進めるd me off の上に Hammersmith Hospital because the 手続き had been （売買）手数料，委託（する）／委員会／権限d by the NHS.

‘There was a lot of obfuscation and avoidance, and then they said I had to 調印する a 同意 form before I could see my former partner’s とじ込み／提出する and the 証拠, which was ridiculous because this is the one 医療の 手続き where there are みなすd to be two 患者s.’

It took a その上の two years before he was shown the form, and the 証拠 was 明白な: his former partner had traced his 署名 with a pencil.

法廷の 調査s 明らかにする／漏らすd 残余s of lead beneath the 署名’s 署名／調印する and 専門家 分析 確認するd the 偽造.

‘Her 動機づけ was （疑いを）晴らす. She was pumped 十分な of hormones and desperate for a child, and under such circumstances people do 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の things,’ he says.

It 現れるd, too, that the clinic had taken the £800 料金 to implant the embryo before they had seen the 同意 form. When staff realised it had not been 調印するd, the woman returned home, (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むd her ex partner’s 署名, and returned the next day for the embryo to be implanted.

Her former partner 主張するs he would never have taken the 事例／患者 to 法廷，裁判所 if the clinic and HFEA had taken his grievance 本気で.< /p>

‘As it was, the clinic was 主張するing that valid 同意 was in place. Its 返答 felt casual and 効果のない／無能な’ he says.

‘IVF Hammersmith had no moral compass. It was just about money. Once you’re on the IVF treadmill it’s very difficult to stop because the 勧める to have a child is second only to the 願望（する） not to die.

‘And the HFEA is 完全に out of its depth. It also （人命などを）奪う，主張するd the clinic had done no wrong, so I was compelled to take 合法的な 活動／戦闘 as a last 訴える手段／行楽地.

‘I don’t feel 有罪の about bringing the （人命などを）奪う，主張する. Neither have I decided what I’ll say to my daughter about it if she asks ― we’ll cross that 橋（渡しをする） when we come to it.’

Today, IVF clinics have changed their 手続きs and 主張する that both parties are 現在の, with photographic 身元確認，身分証明, at such 批判的な events as the implantation of embryos.

一方／合間, IVF Hammersmith no longer operates under the 保護 of the NHS: that 共同の 協定 ended in December 2016.

In fact, when we tried to 接触する the 私的な fertility clinic for its comments on this 事例／患者, the 追跡する that led us to a 広報担当者 was convoluted. It 現れるs that the former IVF Hammersmith has now changed its 指名する to 92 Harley Street, and the only way to communicate with it is 経由で a group called The Fertility 共同, of which it is a 子会社.

Jude Fleming, its 長，指導者 操作／手術s Officer, comments: ‘We had 産業 recommended 基準s of practice at the time and since this event took place, nearly a １０年間 ago, we have 増強するd our 手続きs to go above and beyond what is 要求するd to 確実にする such a 状況／情勢 could not occur again.’

一方／合間, an HFEA 広報担当者 says: ‘知らせるd 同意 is a cornerstone of the 規則 of IVF in the UK.

‘The d eception in this 事例／患者 is very unusual. In 返答 the HFEA 強化するd our 指導／手引 in 2016 to make it （疑いを）晴らす to clinics the steps they should take to 確実にする they do not 落ちる 犠牲者 to individuals who are 決定するd to 誤って導く them when it comes to 同意.

‘We are reviewing this new judgment to see whether we should 申し込む／申し出 clinics その上の 指導／手引 around good 同意 practices.’

Does this 返答 満足させる the father who was duped?

Not a whit.

Her former partner 主張するs he would never have taken the 事例／患者 to 法廷，裁判所 if the clinic and HFEA had taken his grievance 本気で (在庫／株 image)

He 主張するs that 身元 詐欺 at IVF clinics is far from ‘unusual’. Indeed, the 危険 was first identified in 2006 when St Bartholomew’s Hospital, London, 調査するd 45 fertility clinics, of which more than a third had experienced or 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd 身元 詐欺.

Then, in 2008, it 現れるd that a mother had conceived two children at Bourn Hall Clinic, Camb ridgeshire, after falsifying the 文書s.

And there is a その上の coda to the story: if the unwitting father is successful in his 控訴，上告 to the 最高裁判所 and 勝利，勝つs a 財政上の 解決／入植地 from the clinic, it, in turn, ーするつもりであるs to 告訴する the mother who (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むd his 署名.

‘It’s disgraceful and despicable,’ says the father.

‘So whatever money might come to me in the 未来 will go 十分な circle because I am 毅然とした about one thing: I cannot let my former partner lose her house to 支払う／賃金 法廷，裁判所 costs. I won’t let any of my children 苦しむ.’