Five years ago she left her husband of two 10年間s. But, at 59, after a freak 事故 left her 完全に helpless, JANE ALEXANDER realised there was only one person she could count on: Breaking my 武器 傷をいやす/和解させるd the 傷つける between me and my ex

  • Jane Alexander, 59, tripped and broke both of her 武器 while walking in London
  • She told how her ex-husband Adrian?graciously stepped into the 役割 of a carer
  • Exeter-based pair who separated five years ago, had been married for 23 years??
  • Jane says her 傷害 made her consider if they should 再燃する their 関係

Life really can change in a heartbeat. It was a sunny day last July and I’d had a wonderful 週末 in London staying with my best friend Jane. On the Monday, I 長,率いるd off for a 会合 with my publisher. I walked to the Tube 駅/配置する with a spring in my step and a smile on my 直面する.

The past few years had been 堅い. Five years earlier, at 54, I’d separated from my husband, Adrian, after 23 years of marriage. It was my 決定/判定勝ち(する) to end it: there’d been no 劇の wrong turn, we’d just drifted apart, to the point where we were like flatmates rather than a married couple.

Breaking up had still been painful, and learning to live on my own no bed of roses either. Yet, finally, it seemed as if everything was working out. I was happy, 独立した・無所属 and the 未来 seemed 有望な.

Then, suddenly, on that sunny Monday morning, I wasn’t walking any more; I was pitching 今後s and there was nothing I could do to save myself as my 直面する and 手渡すs 粉砕するd into the kerb. My first thought was terribly British ― ‘How embarrassing! What will people think?’ ― as I lay spreadeagled on the pavement.

Jane Alexander, 59, who broke both of her arms after falling in London, told how her ex-husband Adrian (pictured together) stepped in to help her

Jane Alexander, 59, who broke both of her 武器 after 落ちるing in London, told how her ex-husband Adrian (pictured together) stepped in to help her

My next thought was just how ludicrous it was. I’ve paraglided off mountains, kayaked 早いs, climbed 火山s, yet I had never so much as sprained an ankle. I thought tripping over and 負傷させるing yourself was something that happened to people much older than their 50s.

I heard a woman ask if I was 承認する, then a man chipped in to check I could sit up. I couldn’t. 血 was 注ぐing from my nose and my 権利 wrist was puffing up like a balloon. Someone gently 解除するd me to sitting; someone called an 救急車; someone else 設立する my phone and texted to say I wouldn’t make my 会合. Strangers can be incredibly 肉親,親類d.

After that, my friend Jane dropped everything to come with me to A&E. I knew I’d probably fractured my wrist and 割れ目d my nose, but I wasn’t 用意が出来ている to hear that I’d broken both 武器. In fact, I’d fractured my left 肘 and 粉砕するd up my 権利 wrist pretty spectacularly. A simple trip, a freak 事故, and here I was, 効果的に 無能にするd.

I burst into 涙/ほころびs as reality 攻撃する,衝突する home. I lived on my own; how on earth was I going to manage? As a 新聞記者/雑誌記者 and an author, my 手渡すs are my 暮らし; how would I earn a living?

My 権利 wrist was put in plaster but my left 肘 would 明らかに 傷をいやす/和解させる without immobilisation. Afterwards, 発射する/解雇するd with two slings 一連の会議、交渉/完成する my neck, Steri-(土地などの)細長い一片s over my nose and eyebrow, and still high as a 道具 on gas and 空気/公表する, I asked Jane to 減少(する) me at Paddington 駅/配置する.

納得させるd I’d be 罰金, I remember 説 all she needed to do was to put my rucksack on my 支援する and my ticket in my teeth. She decided I was either still in shock or 全く insane and phoned Adrian, my ex.

Jane (pictured?shaken after her fall) fractured her?left elbow and smashed her right wrist, when she fell last July

Jane (pictured?shaken after her 落ちる) fractured her?left 肘 and 粉砕するd her 権利 wrist, when she fell last July

As I listened to my best friend and him discuss which service 駅/配置する on the M4 would be best for a handover, I felt like a 小包. But I also felt intensely 感謝する that I was 存在 so looked after. I started crying all over again.

My 分離 from Adrian had 最初 been difficult, but we’d worked hard to keep our 関係 from becoming 有毒な. Friends joked that we were ‘doing a Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris ツバメ’ as we kept everything 友好的な (both for our own sanity and for the sake of our son James, who is now 21).

Adrian lives around the corner from me in Exeter and we 株 our dog, Dante. By the time of my 事故, even when James wasn’t around, we frequently saw each other for coffee, supper or the 時折の film. Neither of us had a new partner and, living 分かれて, got on just 罰金.

But it’s one thing to support each other when you’re 独立した・無所属 adults: it’s something やめる different when one of you is helpless.

As Adrian drove me b ack to Exeter, I told him I didn’t know 正確に/まさに how I would 対処する. He said he’d known something was horribly wrong the moment he heard my friend’s 発言する/表明する on the phone. He hadn’t thought twice about jumping into the car and 長,率いるing out to 会合,会う us.

He 安心させるd me that everything would be 罰金. Our son James, away on holiday, would be home in a week and he, too, would be on 手渡す. It was hugely humbling. I had 扇動するd our 分離, and yet here he was, ready to 運動 for several hours to 救助(する) me.

Jane (pictured) settled into a routine with Adrian caring for her, she said his help with making meals and cleaning was invaluable

Jane (pictured) settled into a 決まりきった仕事 with Adrian caring for her, she said his help with making meals and きれいにする was invaluable?

Still, as soon as we got 支援する to my house, the difficulties began to 現在の themselves. I somehow managed to 緩和する my way out of my 血-stained outfit, while Adrian hovered around, trying to help while tactfully 回避するing his 注目する,もくろむs. Then, I インチd my way into bed and he arranged pillows to support my 武器.

We 人物/姿/数字d out that I could reach water on the 病人の枕元 (米)棚上げする/(英)提議する and sip it through a straw. I had so many painkillers sloshing around my system that I wasn’t too uncomfortable, but that night Adrian slept in our son’s room, in 事例/患者 I needed anything.

His 親切 攻撃する,衝突する me again and 支援する (機の)カム the 涙/ほころびs ― 静かな little gulps so I wouldn’t wake him.

The next morning it 夜明けd on me just how helpless I was. My 傷害s weren’t 抱擁する, 比較して, yet you don’t realise what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Although Adrian’s work as a 新聞記者/雑誌記者 can be 柔軟な, he couldn’t abandon it to look after me. So once I was settled, he left. When I heard him lock the 前線 door, I felt uneasy. I was home alone with two broken 武器.

But he (機の)カム 支援する later that day and we soon settled into a 決まりきった仕事. He’d pop over every morning for coffee to make sure I was all 権利, sorting out my breakfast, making sure I had something I could eat during the day, making my bed and 負担ing the dishwasher. He’d then check in later to do 類似の checks and 仕事s.

His help was invaluable. With one arm in plaster and the other painful if I moved it, for the first week or so I couldn’t even open my 前線 door. I couldn’t cook; I could only eat if things were 削減(する) up for me; I wasn’t 安全な with a kettle.?

Jane (pictured) revealed her injuries caused her to struggle physically and emotionally, while she also lived frugally of her savings

Jane (pictured) 明らかにする/漏らすd her 傷害s 原因(となる)d her to struggle 肉体的に and emotionally, while she also lived frugally of her 貯金

I could barely wash my 直面する and 小衝突 my teeth. I could stand in the にわか雨 with plastic 捕らえる、獲得するs over my plaster cast and 空気/公表する-乾燥した,日照りの myself afterwards, yet I didn’t feel clean. Still, asking Adrian to help was a step too far.

類似して, it was one thing asking him to 削減(する) up food, but doing up my bra felt too intimate. In the end, though, the need for 慰安 won out. Adrian 努力するd to make it feel as normal as possible, telling me we had been married for 10年間s ― of course he wasn’t 脅すd of doing up my bra.

And so he stepped carefully and graciously into the 役割 of a carer. It felt 極端に strange to me and I kept thanking him, like a stuck 記録,記録的な/記録する. However, he took it 完全に in his stride, 主張するing it was 罰金 and that he wasn’t remotely fazed.

As for money, by living frugally, I could make my 貯金 last for the three months it would take me to be able to type again.

However, 同様に as struggling 肉体的に, I was also struggling mentally. I’d worked so hard for my independence. It had taken every ounce of emotional strength to (1)偽造する/(2)徐々に進む a new life for myself. Now I watched my 進歩 unravel.

A 複雑にするd 操作/手術 on my 権利 wrist put my 回復 支援する even その上の, and my 信用/信任 消えるd. I felt 脅すd of everything. Petrified I’d 落ちる 負かす/撃墜する the stairs. Worried I’d become (麻薬)常用者d to painkillers.

Walking 負かす/撃墜する the street was terrifying. I kept reliving the moment I fell and was morbidly 納得させるd it was going to happen again. I 選ぶd my way along the street, feeling very 攻撃を受けやすい.

Jane admits she thought about getting back into a relationship with Adrian (pictured together), as the injuries made her consider how she would cope in old age

Jane 収容する/認めるs she thought about getting 支援する into a 関係 with Adrian (pictured together), as the 傷害s made her consider how she would 対処する in old age

Friends, 一方/合間, began to wonder about my 関係 with Adrian, asking if I was tempted to get 支援する together. And I 収容する/認める I thought about it. This out-of-the-blue frailty felt like a horrible foreshadowing of life in ten or 20 years’ time. If not a 落ちる, then how would I 対処する with an illness or incapacity in old age.

This, I 反映するd, was perhaps one 推論する/理由 so many people stay together, even if their 関係s don’t make them happy. The idea of growing old on your own is daunting; scary even.

But should I get 支援する together with Adrian just because I was 脅すd? That seemed not only 臆病な/卑劣な on my part, but hugely disrespectful to him.

結局, I pulled my self together. I’d decided to end the marriage and this was my first major 実験(する). As my Aunty Dot would have said: ‘You’ve made your bed, so 嘘(をつく) in it, my girl.’

So I 調書をとる/予約するd a 開会/開廷/会期 of EMDR (注目する,もくろむ movement desensitisation and 再生するing ― a form of hypnotherapy that can help your mind 傷をいやす/和解させる from 外傷/ショック) and started working extra hard on my physiotherapy homework.

I 溝へはまらせる/不時着するd the boxset binges and, once my plaster cast was 除去するd, re-joined the gym. A personal trainer kindly 申し込む/申し出d me a 解放する/自由な 開会/開廷/会期 to 工夫する a programme I could do without 緊張するing my 武器.

徐々に, I 説得するd myself 支援する into an 独立した・無所属 life ― with Adrian still there to help when needed, and to 元気づける me on.

Jane (pictured) revealed six months on, Adrian is still helping her as she only has partial use of her right hand

Jane (pictured) 明らかにする/漏らすd six months on, Adrian is still helping her as she only has 部分的な/不平等な use of her 権利 手渡す

For five months, I had had to stick to にわか雨s as I didn’t have the strength to get in and out of the bath. But one day, yearning for a good soak, I asked Adrian to stand by as I did a literal 乾燥した,日照りの run, fully 着せる/賦与するd.

Getting in was 罰金, but then I got stuck. He 運ぶ/漁獲高d me out, with much huffing and puffing, both of us laughing like drains.

It struck me, not for the first time, how incredibly lucky I was to have met him, nearly 30 years ago now, and to have spent so much of my life with someone as 肉親,親類d, clever and funny as him.

I thought of all those people who are 完全に on their own, and I felt intensely 感謝する.

Six months on, I still have only 部分的な/不平等な use of my 権利 手渡す and my wonderful ex is still helping me. He 運動s me to my occupational therapy 任命 each week and checks if I need help with 激しい shopping.

If there’s one 肯定的な thing that’s come out of the 事故, it’s that our 関係 today is easier, more relaxed. We don’t tread on eggshells around each other any more. He’s seen me at my most 攻撃を受けやすい, and I’ve seen him at his most 肉親,親類d.

As for the big question? I asked Adrian, the other day, whether he could ever see us 株ing a house again. He smiled and shook his 長,率いる. ‘I think we get on much better like this, don’t you?’

I couldn’t have agreed more.

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