EXCLUSIVE'I cancelled lunch and we never spoke again': 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の 推論する／理由s why so many 40-加える women are breaking up with their best friends - and yes, it CAN be worse than 離婚
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When Louanne 区's childhood friend of 30 years ghosted her, she had no idea why.
The pair had been の近くに since they were 14. They had travelled together, worked together and Hannah* had been maid of honour at Louanne's wedding.
'We watched each other's children grow up and supported one another when our marriages ended. We were like Thelma and Louise, each other's ride-or-die for three １０年間s,' Louanne tells me.?
Then, one day five years ago, Louanne had to 取り消す lunch 計画（する）s at the last minute - and Hannah hasn't spoken to her since.?
'It was 破滅的な. I never knew why. It was 完全に out of the blue,' she says.?
'Over the years, I reached out at least 20 times. I still wish her a happy birthday every year.?I've begged for her to talk to me and explain what I did to 傷つける her, why she decided to end the friendship. It can't just have been cancelling lunch.'
まっただ中に the 混乱, there's one thing Louanne, a 関係 coach, is sure of.
'In many ways the loss of a friend is worse than 離婚. When you're 削減（する） off, there's no discussion, there's no 終結 and often not a lot of support from peers - you're 推定する／予想するd to get over it 急速な／放蕩な. After all, it's "just a friend".'
関係 coach Louanne 区 (pictured), who?was ghosted by her best friend of 30 years, says friendship break-ups can be worse than 離婚
'I reached out at least 20 times, I still wish her a happy birthday every year. I've begged for her to talk to me and explain what I did to 傷つける her, why she decided to end the friendship,' she says
She agrees friendships are challenged after your teenage years and ますます difficult after the age of 35, when people's lifestyles 徹底的に change.?
'People settle 負かす／撃墜する, have kids, and いつかs jealousy comes into play. You're in different 行う／開催する／段階s in life and that's okay. People have lives and you might only see someone a few times a year or not at all,' she says.
にもかかわらず, she 行方不明になるs her friend - and 辞退するs to believe she threw away 30 years over a cancelled lunch.
'存在 削減（する） off without a word after 30 years was 残虐な,' she 追加するs.?
'I've been tempted to message her ex-husband to see if he knows why she "broke up" with me. But I 港／避難所't crossed that line.
'In a way, maybe it's better not knowing her 推論する／理由ing.?
'If she were to 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） everything she disliked about me, would that be worse? Probab ly. So I've made peace with it.'
いつかs, friendship break-ups are いっそう少なく a 事例／患者 a ghosting, and more of a slow fade.
When someone you once 信用d with your secrets, 株d laughter with, and leaned on during your darkest moments suddenly becomes a source of 傷つける, the sense of betrayal can 削減（する） 深く，強烈に (在庫／株 image)?
Karla* broke up with her best friend Emma* when they were living in different cities.?
'In 2019, before I moved, I felt like our friendship was 存在 実験（する）d because another woman （機の）カム の上に the scene and 注入するd herself into the group, or tried to.
'The two of them would hang out 定期的に, had a 類似の しつけ and morals. It was 罰金 but I did feel like I was 存在 取って代わるd.'
In 2020, Emma struggled with her mental health after losing her father.
'I felt awful I couldn't be there to support her. Because of Covid 制限s at the time I couldn't 飛行機で行く home,' Karla says.
By the time lockdowns had ended, the friendship had run its course and they were no longer speaking.?
'Even though we don't speak anymore, I still have hundreds of photos of us together on my phone. It's like a memory graveyard,' Karla says.?
'I'll 収容する／認める I do 行方不明になる her but いつかs people come into your life, then they go. Like a 調書をとる／予約する, these characters might only stay for a few 一時期／支部s in your life rather than the whole 陰謀（を企てる）, and I've come to 受託する that.'
Some friendship break-ups are far from innocuous, however.?
Throughout her twenties and thirties, 足緒* was Eva's* best friend.?
'She was my maid of honour, my daughter's godmother; we were as の近くに as it gets,' Eva says.
'Even when 足緒 moved away, we still spoke every day and she would come and visit four or five times a year.'
During that time, Eva was in an abusive marriage and needed all the support she could get.??
'My ex-husband was abusive emotionally, 肉体的に and psychologically, and tried to 支配（する）／統制する every 面 of my life,' she explains.?
'He always needed to know where I was and would always put me 負かす／撃墜する.'
Throughout their seven years of marriage, Eva says 足緒 was '?the one I 信用d and confided in.
'At the time, she was the only person who knew what was going on and saw some of the 乱用 happen first-手渡す. If anything, it made us closer.'
But, over time, Eva noticed a change in 足緒' behaviour whenever she was around her husband.??
'They both started to ギャング（団） up on me. It was like adult いじめ（る）ing,' she says.
They would call me "boring" for leaving dinner 早期に, yet in reality I was 37 and had a child at home. I would be on mum 義務s and they would keep hanging out all night. They would collectively put me 負かす／撃墜する.'
One night, Eva had friends over for her birthday. Later that evening, it was just the three of them as everyone else had left.
'So I put my daughter to sleep and I went to bed too. But in the middle of the night,?I woke up and heard kissing sounds.'
Eva was too 脅すd to 確認する her 恐れるs, so she didn't 直面する them.
But the next morning, she asked her husband about it. He told her she was 'crazy' and '明確に dreaming'. But Eva knew she wasn't.
'A month later, I ended our marriage and 足緒, to her credit, did support me through that,' Eva says.
'At the time, I didn't 直面する her about what I'd heard.'?
But a week later, her 疑惑s were 確認するd after seeing a photo of 足緒 and her ex-husband together. Then Eva received a phone call.
It was 足緒. 'Your husband and I have been seeing each other for the last six months and I can't be your friend anymore.'?
I was horrified and 設立する her betrayal more hurtful than my husband's.
She said she'd always be there for me, and yet she chose him, knowing everything he was 有能な of. That was the ultimate betrayal.
I cannot 表明する to you how horrific it was. And they only 時代遅れの for a few months before he moved on with someone else.?
Five years on, Eva says she has forgiven her ex-husband because they have a child together - but she will never 許す 足緒.
* 指名するs have been changed?
