Why my husband is 存在 'stolen' from me

Sandra and Colin Skillett were a golden couple - she was an 空気／公表する stewardess and model, he was a 操縦する.

Based in Hong Kong with their children, Guy, now 22, and Kimberly, 18, they enjoyed a luxurious life of servants and lavish parties.

Twelve years ago, 老年の 50, Colin began to show 調印するs of 'silly forgetfulness'.

Horrifyingly, it turned out to be Alzheimer's 病気. Sandra, 58, now living in Hampshire, tells us their story.

いつかs, when I see Colin 広範囲にわたる up the leaves in the garden, I literally ache with sadness. The man I have loved for more than 35 years is a 影をつくる／尾行する of his former self. I often look at him and wonder how long it will be before he doesn't even recognise me.

When I look around our lovely home, 十分な of antique furniture and sculptures which 持つ／拘留する so many memories of our travels, I can't help but think how 不正な it is that he has been struck 負かす／撃墜する with this illness so young.

When Colin is having a good day, things are almost like they used to be. But on a bad day, he will hardly be able to get a whole 宣告，判決 out. Very occasionally, he has even been 積極的な, which is so out of character.

For example, my son was washing his greasy 手渡すs in the kitchen 沈む one day and Colin 手配中の，お尋ね者 him to use another one. He became outrageously cross and 押し進めるd Guy out of the way.

It's heartbreaking if you dwell on it, but I have always been a very 肯定的な person and I try to snap out of it quickly for both our sakes.

にもかかわらず what has happened, we still have a good life together. We are lucky that we have a lovely home, with lots of bedrooms and some land.

I have my horses next to the house in the stables, and Colin has lots of garden to look after and a 温室 十分な of grapes. We are also 回復するing our swimming pool to its former glory, so there are plenty of things to get on with.

I have to keep busy almost every minute of the day - it is my way of 対処するing. By the time I go to bed, I'm exhausted.

I sort out the horses in the morning and walk our two dogs. Then I organise Colin with さまざまな 仕事s, such as gardening or chopping 支持を得ようと努めるd. I'm lucky that at this 行う／開催する／段階 Colin does not need 一連の会議、交渉／完成する-the-clock attention, so I can leave him alone for a couple of hours.

However, his 調整 is starting to 悪化する and いつかs he asks me to help him dress. But I'm 決定するd not to 扱う／治療する him like at child, so I say: 'Come on, Colin, of course you can do it' - and after about ten minutes he usually manages it himself.

We've been told Colin's symptoms are pretty typical of Alzheimer's. Memory loss, 欠如（する） of co-聖職拝命（式）, uncharacteristic 爆発s, no energy and 不景気 are all 早期に 調印するs of the 病気.

Alzheimer's 影響する／感情s more than 700,000 people in the UK. It's the most ありふれた form of dementia and the 危険 of developing it rises はっきりと with age. At 52, when Colin was 診断するd, the 危険 is only 1 in 1,000, but by age 85 it's one in five.

In a few 事例／患者s, the 病気 occurs because of a 欠陥のある 遺伝子. But the more ありふれた form of the 条件 is not hereditary and doctors do not know what 原因（となる）s it. One theory is that there is an accumulation of 異常な protein in the brain, which 妨げるs it from working 適切に.

For Colin, the most obvious 悪化／低下 is in his speech. He often starts a 宣告，判決 but cannot finish it. For us, this is one of the most 悲劇の 面s of the 病気. Before, he'd always been so gregarious, cheeky and talkative.

We met when I was 24 and a stewardess on one of Colin's flights. I liked him すぐに. I'd already been tipped off by a girlfriend that he was a 広大な／多数の／重要な chap and just 権利 for me. He was just so fun-loving and we 攻撃する，衝突する it off 権利 away.

We were both based in Nairobi and we had fantastic times when we wer en't 飛行機で行くing. We were very carefree, enjoyed 調査するing the country and went to lots of lovely parties together.

We'd known each other for seven years before he 提案するd - and of course I said 'yes' すぐに. We had a winter wedding in 1973, in the village church in Crondall, Surrey, 近づく my parents' home. Our friends （機の）カム from as far away as Australia and Africa, and I felt wonderful in a white lace gown I'd 雇うd in London.

Soon after, Colin started working for Cathay 太平洋の, so we began our married life together in Hong Kong, where we bought a lovely four-bedroom home overlooking Kowloon Bay.

When the children （機の）カム along, I gave up work. We had a housekeeper and life was very good indeed. Colin was happy in his 職業 and I indulged my love of riding.

I also held lots of dinner parties, and we were often 招待するd to lavish parties on boats 巡航するing up and 負かす／撃墜する the bay.

I suppose this is what makes our 状況／情勢 so ironic. We had such a fantastic life then - yet now we are 直面するing a 状況／情勢 that most people dread.

Everything continued on an even keel until five years before Colin was 予定 to retire. It was then the first 調印するs appeared that things weren't 権利.

It started with silly things - I called it 'silly forgetfulness'. Colin kept leaving things behind in restaurants, or losing the car 重要なs. Just normal things, really, but it started to become so 正規の／正選手 that I did think it was strange.

For やめる a while I kept passing it off as one of those things, and we didn't even think of going to see a doctor.

Once, Colin went to the cash machine to take out a large sum of money. Afterwards, he （機の）カム 支援する with the card but had forgotten to 選ぶ up the money. We went 支援する, but, of course, it had gone. I was cross but even then I was not unduly worried.

Colin was still 飛行機で行くing at this 行う／開催する／段階, but when I used to 運動 him to the airport he would keep wanting me to stop the car so he c ould check and re-check that he had all his 文書s with him, such as his パスポート and 運動ing licence.

I noticed that he was often very tired and irritable, but he was doing a lot of long-運ぶ／漁獲高 飛行機で行くing, so again we weren't too 関心d.

Then （機の）カム a 抱擁する blow. Colin had a 報告（する）／憶測 from work 説 that he was making mistakes - such as 存在 slow to operate the 支配（する）／統制するs. It was 示唆するd that he took 早期に 退職.

Colin was 粉々にするd by this. 飛行機で行くing was his life, and giving it up had 抱擁する 財政上の 関わりあい／含蓄s for us because we had both

It did go through my mind that we were lucky he hadn't 原因（となる）d an 事故, but I know this would never have been 許すd to happen. There are so many checks 操縦するs have to go through, and they have a 十分な 医療の every few months.

I was upset and in 涙／ほころびs, but Colin was strong for me even though he was heartbroken himself. He felt that he had let me and the family 負かす／撃墜する.

It was very embarrassing having to tell his friends and 同僚s why he was leaving, but we got through it and started looking 今後 to returning to the home we had bought 近づく Alton in Hampshire in 1986.

At this 行う／開催する／段階, we had no idea how bad things were, but after a few months in England Colin's shortterm memory was getting so bad that I took him to see our GP.

The doctor referred him to our 地元の hospital, where 実験（する）s and ざっと目を通すs 確認するd Colin was 苦しむing from Alzheimer's 病気.

Shocked is not the word for what we felt. We both thought Alzheimer's was an older person's illness - not something you could develop at 50.

We weren't given any particular prognosis, but 明白に we are aware that it is going to get a lot worse.

We know Coli n's memory will 悪化する so that 結局 he won't even know his own family. He will lose his speech and practical everyday 技術s, such as walking or going to the 洗面所 unaided.

He could even have changes to his personality, and become disorientated and not know where he is.

It's grim, but the only なぐさみ is that Colin himself won't know anything about it.

Colin, I suppose, was more 受託するing, but I was both sad and angry that our lovely life and our dreams had suddenly been blown away.

He was 定める／命ずるd さまざまな 麻薬s, but for a long time nothing seemed to make any difference. I read everything I could about Alzheimer's and took him to Harley Street to 参加する a new 麻薬s 裁判，公判, but even that didn't work.

Then Colin was 定める／命ずるd Aricept, which is a 麻薬 that keeps Alzheimer's at bay. That was a turning point for us. It's been fantastic. I noticed the change in Colin within a week. He was much more 警報 - more his old self.

Unfortunately, the 麻薬 is not a cure and the 影響s don't last for ever. After two years, Colin has now reached the 行う／開催する／段階 where it is no longer as 効果的な as it was.

But I still dread the day the doctor won't 定める／命ずる it any more. It has been a window of two years of nearly normal life which we have been able to enjoy together.

The children were only eight and ten when we told them Colin had Alzheimer's, but they took it very 井戸／弁護士席. At that age, I think it washes over you, although it was 明白に hard for them knowing what will 結局 happen and having to tell their friends.

We are just praying it's not the hereditary form of the 病気. I am 明白に worried for the children, but they 港／避難所't 表明するd any 広大な／多数の／重要な 関心.

率直に, I think it's better not to know, さもなければ you'd have it hanging over you for the 残り／休憩（する） of your life.

In many ways, Colin is still very much the man I married. He's still 極端に aff ectionate, and he 推定する／予想するs the intimate 味方する of our life to continue as if nothing has changed.

I find this very hard indeed. It is not 平易な caring for someone in an almost childlike way, and then 存在 推定する／予想するd to hop into bed as though things are like they used to be. Of course, I do go along with things for Colin's sake, but it is understandably difficult.

Recently, I've had to take over more and more of the 職業s he would 普通は have done, such as the 財政上の 味方する of running the home and practical things. A few weeks ago, I was up on the ladder （疑いを）晴らすing the gutters of leaves. In the past, he would always have done that.

All our friends are 完全に 受託するing of Colin's 条件, but when we go out - perhaps to a restaurant - I often wonder what people are thinking. Because of Colin's 欠如（する） of co-聖職拝命（式）, it's not a very pretty sight to watch him at the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する.

When Colin gets worse we won't be going out at all - so we are enjoying it while we can. Everyone we've 遭遇（する）d so far has always been very polite.

I try not to think about the 未来. All I know is that Colin will stay at home as long as it is possible and we will 直面する things as they arise.

We've had a very good life together and, apart from the obvious 悔いるs, I am just so sorry that Colin won't get to fulfil a dream he has had for many years - buying a camper 先頭 and travelling across America.

It's something he's often talked about it, but now we know it's not going to happen. These days, we rarely even travel outside the village any more.