ROSIE GREEN: My mask of perfection is starting to slip

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Cardigan, BA&SH. Bikini 最高の，を越す, Asceno?

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On my 旅行 of romantic rediscovery I’ve pondered many things. The 最新の 存在, should all new 関係s be 支配する to a three-month probationary period?

By this I mean a 12-week window of the sort 施行するd by HR departments. During this time, either party can 身を引く 慎重に from the 協定, agreeing that what looked like a good idea at the time has turned out not to be.

There is science behind my thinking. Psychologists say that you can only hide your true personality and habits for about 90 days. After that masks begin to slip and cats get out of 捕らえる、獲得するs.

The time でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れる of my 関係 means that I’m approaching the end date of my ‘保護監察 period’. Which is 関心ing, as 裁判，公判 runs at work have いつかs been touch-and-go for me. I am thinking 特に of my first ever 職業 at Elle magazine when I contrived to put Yasmin Le Bon’s dress in the 貯蔵所 on day four. It’s a 奇蹟 I ever made it to 永久の status.

Now that we’re talking about romantic attachment, the 火刑／賭けるs are even higher. I’m pretty 確信して that the BF (it’s been 13 weeks and counting) is likely to 調印する off on my 役割 (I （人命などを）奪う，主張する undeniably good interpersonal 技術s and a strong work ethic) but you just never know.

My grooming has been off the 規模 (by my 基準s anyhow). 脚s are smoother than Dwayne Johnson’s 長，率いる. Hair is freshly washed and blow-乾燥した，日照りのd. By a hairdresser. 雑談（する） is sparkling. Politics is 避けるd.

When we’re together I’m 一般に so nervous that I can’t eat very much, which at least 限界s the 適切な時期 for spinach to get wedged in my teeth. I am 監視するing my alcohol intake, thus 避けるing inhibitions 存在 lowered to the extent I think balancing anything on my nose is a good idea. The outfit is always considered and fresh from the 乾燥した，日照りの cleaners.

I am together, in 支配（する）／統制する, 確信して and cheery. 基本的に, this is 頂点（に達する） me. But it’s going to be impossible to 持続する this level of perfection for much longer. The real me is fighting to get out. The わずかに 大混乱／混沌とした one. The one who puts 石油 in her ディーゼル car (yep, £250 later)…

The one with a penchant for Frazzles and sherbet-filled 飛行機で行くing saucers ? eaten while watching Clarkson’s Farm. My friends tell me that, rather than fretting about how I am doing, I should be 査定する／（税金などを）課すing his probationary 業績／成果.

They have cautionary tales to tell. Zara remembers one 可能性のある love 事件／事情／状勢 who, on date three, 発表するd, ‘I’ve never been in love’ (he was 35 at the time). Jane was put off by a man who ‘forgot’ his wallet on thre e 連続した 会合，会う-ups and Annie by a guy who cried on dates one and two before turning up for date three in a fleece emblazoned with his company logo.

Luckily 非，不，無 of that from the BF. So far. Only a watch that pings with cricket 得点する／非難する／２０s. And a liking for Monster Munch. Both of which I can live with. I’m 検討する，考慮するing all this over as I listen to Elizabeth Day’s podcast with author and love 専門家 Alain de Botton. They talk about our modern obsession with 捜し出すing perfection in 関係s.

De Botton says you shouldn’t search for perfection in a partner, because ‘every human will 失望させる, 怒り／怒る, annoy, madden and disappoint us ? and we will (without any malice) do the same to them’. Instead, he says, we should look for ‘a capacity to 許容する differences with generosity’. Yes, Alain.

I’m thinking that three months in, as we start to feel more 安全な・保証する in our 役割s, we can show our 欠陥s more (physical and mental). And 明らかにする／漏らす our shortcomings (in my 事例／患者, 地図／計画する reading, anything kitchen 関係のある and underarm shaving).

It’s time to relax. ‘頂点（に達する） Rosie’ may have fabulous hair but she’s exhausting. Yesterday I took my first step into this uncharted 領土 by leaving the BF’s house with bed 長，率いる and 無 make-up. Then put on my goofy specs to 運動 home.

So pretty much the opposite of my first-date self. He took a picture of me (which I 反対するd to) and later sent it to me with the caption, ‘I love this photo.’ I think he might just have passed his probationary period.

@lifesrosie

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