Kelly: No need to say sorry, Roeder

The ローマ法王 is not the only one who is 軍隊d to 問題／発行する unwarranted public 陳謝s.

Suddenly, sorry no longer seems to be the hardest word. Decent individuals are 存在 軍隊d 負かす／撃墜する on to one 膝 to pander to baying, ignorant 暴徒s through a combination of misplaced political correctness and petty officiousness.

PG Wodehouse once said: "It's a good 支配する in life never to apologise. The 権利 sort of people don't want 陳謝s, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

And by God, there are plenty of the wrong sort taking advantage now.

Sport is meant to 供給する an escape from the insanity of the outside world, but the overexcited microcosm of football is 傾向がある to its own brand of intolerance and 集まり stupidity.

In today's game, all a 経営者／支配人 has to do is celebrate his team's good fortune and he will find he has 感情を害する／違反するd the delicate sensibilities of individuals often sitting 25 列／漕ぐ／騒動s 支援する in the main grandstand who usually spend half time wondering what their misspelt tattoos say.

Just look at what happened at West Ham at the 週末. Glenn Roeder, the former 大打撃を与えるs 経営者／支配人, returned to Upton Park in 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 of Newcastle 部隊d and 耐えるd a predictable afternoon of 敵意を持った barracking from the home （人が）群がる.

"Stand up if you hate Roeder," sang a sizeable 割合 of the 35,000 inside the ground. Other ditties tastefully mocked his past health troubles and some individuals loudly 招待するd him to leave the 前提s, or at least 申し込む／申し出d words to that 影響.

As Newcastle went into a 2-0 lead, Roeder had every 権利 to gloat, 耐えるing mind that this was the club that 解雇（する）d him while he was 回復するing from brain 外科.

He might also have spared a thought for the いわゆる '支持者s' who 粉砕するd the windows of his house while he was convalescing.

But no, Roeder did nothing. While 激怒（する） descended on him, he got on with his 職業. Until the final minutes, that is, when the travelling Newcastle f ans began 詠唱するing his 指名する and he 答える／応じるd by applauding and pumping his 握りこぶしs.

No sooner had it happened than 罰金 upstanding gentlemen, かもしれない called Lance and Wayne, wiped the spittle from their chins before scurrying off to 宿泊する an 公式の／役人 （民事の）告訴 with the nearest policeman or steward.

In the past, a 巡査 would have used his shiny toecap to tell them what he thought of their 抗議する. Today, he has to take 負かす／撃墜する their 指名する and 演説（する）／住所 and 報告（する）／憶測 it in triplicate as if it were a 事柄 of actual importance.

To try to 鎮圧する the fuss, Roeder decided it would easier to say sorry.

He said: "I apologise if I upset the West Ham fans. I apologise to anyone with anything to do with West Ham. The last thing I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to do on my return to Upton Park was to 原因（となる） a 暴動 or anything like that."

You can understand the 外交, but they should have been apologising to him, as the 大多数 of decent West Ham 信奉者s would no 疑問 agree.

Over at Derby 郡, a 類似の シナリオ was 存在 played out. Like Roeder, Derby 経営者／支配人 Billy Davies was 直面するing his former club, Preston, only to find he had been 報告（する）／憶測d for '刺激するing' fans.

How did he do this? By punching the 空気／公表する when Derby 得点する／非難する／２０d a 刑罰，罰則. The good news is, Davies did not bother to apologise.

He said: "I 推定する／予想するd a bit of stick, but I didn't 推定する／予想する so much filth. Some of the 詠唱するs were 絶対 scandalous. But that's football for you. They 支払う／賃金 their money and can do what they like and yet I get told after the game that I was 刺激するing the （人が）群がる because I celebrated our goal."

Derbyshire Police are said to be 調査／捜査するing, but it should not take long. In fact, they would be better off 非難する the 原告，告訴人s with wasting police time.

Fans wants passion, they want 願望（する）, they 需要・要求する excitement and かかわり合い, but as soon as they find themselves on the receiving end they squeal "It's so 不公平な!" and run to the nearest uniform.

Let's stop apologising. Let's stop indulging these h ypocrites. Let's make a stand for 推論する／理由 and 寛容. And if anyone 示唆するs さもなければ, shoot them.

If you are in any way 感情を害する／違反するd by that joke, 堅い, because my only 悔いる in 令状ing this column is that so many people out there 欠如（する） ありふれた sense. I am genuinely sorry about that.

? David Beckham says he was "肉体的に sick" after he やめる as England captain.

No news on whether Victoria Beckham was sick too, but, as the 告示 was made just after breakfast, I'd say there's a fair chance.

In fact, I felt pretty queasy myself when I read Beckham （人命などを）奪う，主張する that one of the people he called for advice about 存在 dropped by England was Tom 巡航する. Pass the sickbag.

? Australian 首相 John Howard has 任命するd Liverpool's Harry Kewell as an 外交官／大使 to 促進する healthy living.

For the 記録，記録的な／記録する, Kewell withdrew from this summer's World Cup 決勝戦. 苦しむing from gout.

Rooney and the 事例／患者 of the half-eaten pizza

Wayne Rooney was 代用品，人d on Sunday, 供給するing publishers HarperCollins with all the 弾薬／武器 they needed to 急ぐ his second autobiography into print.

The 最新の instalment of his five-調書をとる／予約する 取引，協定 する権利を与えるd My Story So Far ― Is There Much More Of This? 約束s to be the "most sensational story ever told about a substitution at Sunday around teatime".

The 広報担当者 確認するd that Rooney 明らかにする／漏らすs how the sight of the 公式の／役人 持つ／拘留するing up his number would have made him consider quitting the game if he had thought of it.

加える: How he controversially told Coleen he couldn't finish his pizza that night and even turned 負かす／撃墜する a packet of crisps because he was 'in a mood'.

自白するd to his family that 'it spoiled Midsomer 殺人s a bit too'. 'And much more!' the 広報担当者 追加するd. 'This will be the 最終的な tale of what goes on in a footballer's mind when he has been 否定するd his dream of playing on uselessly for the remaining 12 minutes.'

The glut of football autobiographies has already led to 激烈な ch anges to the training schedule of 首相の職 clubs across the country.

Here's how a typical day now 形態／調整s up for our £100,000-a-week 星／主役にするs: 10.15: Stretches, warm-up. 10.30: Five-a-味方する. 11.00: 始める，決める pieces, 解放する／自由な-kick practice. 11.15: Creative 令状ing class: How to 非難する everyone else and develop a '条件' that is 価値（がある） a 一時期／支部 or two. 11.45: Lecture: 避ける a fright from the ghostwriter ― learning to read your autobiography before it is 解放（する）d. 12.15: 調書をとる／予約する 調印 etiquette; where (and how) to 調印する your 指名する. 12.30: にわか雨 and 長，率いる home, 経由で the bank.