DES KELLY: 冷静な／正味の it, Tevez and Neville - and that can't get lost in translation

Updated: 00:46 BST, 23 January 2010

First, let’s （疑いを）晴らす up a translation error. As so often happens when a foreign interview
wings its way 支援する to the English マスコミ, words are mangled and phrases are taken out of 状況.

That is why it is important to point out Carlos Tevez did not 現実に call Gary Neville ‘a boot-licker’ or even a ‘sock-sucker’, as one newspaper timidly （人命などを）奪う，主張するd.

No, the colloquial 解釈／通訳 of Tevez’s 発言／述べる is that he branded Neville a ‘butt-kisser’. I just hope that （疑いを）晴らすs up any ambiguity, even if journalistic clarity comes at the expense of your breakfast.

To 妨げる more misunders tandings, let’s stick to plain English with a message to the players of both clubs. Children, grow up.

Puerile: Carlos Tevez would do 井戸／弁護士席 to 注意する his own message to Gary Neville

The open 敵意 between a new-born Manchester City and a いっそう少なく than imperious 部隊d is undeniably engrossing, but it is 価値（がある） reminding all 関心d that they are supposed to be at the pinnacle of their 貿易（する）, professional sportsmen 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金d with the 責任／義務 of 代表するing two of the most famous clubs in world football.

And just look how they behave.

Tevez is hopping about, cupping his ears in 前線 of the 経営者／支配人 who decided he wasn’t 価値（がある） (or who just didn’t have) £25million and gesturing to a former team-mate.

Having collected five 勝利者s’ メダルs in two seasons at Old Trafford and a hefty 支払う／賃金 rise from his new 雇用者s without even 関心ing himself with the inconvenience
of moving, it is fair to say, as worthy 原因（となる）s go, Tevez is still some way from qualifying for a mawkish Simon Cowell charity 選び出す／独身.

But by God he’s milking the idea he has been hard done by.

Yes, I believe 部隊d made a mistake in 許すing him to leave Old Trafford, as I have said many times on this page. I even saw the depth of his 失望 and 失望／欲求不満 up の近くに.

When 部隊d （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 Chelsea 3-0 at Old Trafford last January, I was watching from Tevez’s (n)役員／(a)執行力のある box, と一緒に his wife, his daughter, and another guest called... who was it now? Oh yes, Diego Maradona. (If you’re going to 減少（する） a 指名する, make it a decent one).

To the 狼狽 of his 側近, Tevez was considered 黒字／過剰 to 必要物／必要条件s for a game 法案d as the 肩書を与える decider and, にもかかわらず 詠唱するs from the （人が）群がる and enthusiastic 試みる／企てるs to catch Sir Alex Ferguson’s 注目する，もくろむ, he never appeared.

部隊d still won comfortably, which made it even more of a chastening
experience. When the disconsolate
player 軍隊／機動隊d upstairs after the final whistle, he sat with his 国家の coach, and the two Argentinians were locked in conspiratorial
chatter. Tevez knew, even then, he would have to leave.

Understandably, he has 手配中の，お尋ね者 to 証明する 部隊d wrong ever since and is halfway to 抽出するing a 手段 of 復讐. But he 繰り返して tells us he will do his talking on the pitch, only to then 乗る，着手する on a touchline pantomime. Just forget about your ex, Carlos. It’s getting embarrassing.

And then there is Neville, warming up and 準備するing his muscles for the exertions ahead, which usually 伴う／関わる little more than jumping up and 負かす／撃墜する in 前線 of 対立 fans as an 未使用の 代用品，人.

This experienced England 退役軍人 of 85 caps decided to 答える／応じる to Tevez’s histrionics by carefully 延長するing his middle finger. This is not the 行為／法令／行動する of a distinguished club captain, but at least he didn’t pull a ligament.

Just for the 記録，記録的な／記録する, Tevez is 25. And Neville is 34.

Should they 主張する on continuing to 貿易（する） teenage 侮辱s, I’m sure they have one another’s telephone numbers. They can send abusive texts, 修正する their 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of Facebook friends or email one another rude pictures of butts 存在 kissed without a care, just as long they keep it 私的な.

Of course doing this in 前線 of millions instead makes for amusing theatre and I’m aware the マスコミ love the 反目，不和s between players as much as anyone else, but these 陳列する，発揮するs do have consequences.

The antics are the only green light some idiots need. On Tuesday, there was （人が）群がる trouble outside the Eastlands Stadium. Police say they 押収するd ゴルフ balls and even darts at the turnstiles.

The 半分-final second 脚 at Old Trafford on Wednesday is going to be even more 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金d, with thousands of fans arriving with their own 誇張するd sense of grievance, just like Tevez. Should there be a serious 突発／発生 of hooliganism
then any player who helped 刺激する it should answer 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金s.

Of course, in these 状況／情勢s, it helps if clubs 行為／法令／行動する in a sensible and responsible manner. Unfortunately, City’s 長，指導者 (n)役員／(a)執行力のある is the irredeemably crass Garry Cook.

This braggart paraded in 前線 of a fans’ 会議 in New York and hung his かなりの chin out to 宣言する: ‘People don’t like to hear it, I’ll make no excuses for 説 it and never stop 説 it - this football club is going to be the biggest and best in the world. It’s not if, but when we are at Wembley, having beaten 部隊d yet again’.

How can you tell players or fans to grow up, when those in positions of 当局 are such puerile, posturing little … 持つ／拘留する on, let me find my Spanish dictionary again.

Welcome to the Ann Summers stadium

It says a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定 about how low West Ham’s 期待s have shrunk when people start yelling: ‘支持を得ようと努める hoo! We’ve got the pornographers in!’

Who’d have thought the day would arrive when David Sullivan, who once ran half the adult magazine market, and David Gold, another 最高の，を越す-shelf entrepreneur who also owns the Ann Summers shops, would be 祝日，祝うd at Upton Park?

Sullivan: '近づく 行方不明になるs'

Sullivan even looked as if he’d stepped out of one of his old low-予算 British sex movies as he arrived on his first day in a purple velvet jacket.

Having bought 50 per cent of the 大打撃を与えるs, they are now doing their best to portray themselves as 救助（する）ing heroes, setting 都合よく vague 的s (‘支持する／優勝者s League in seven years’) and slagging off their 前任者s.

Sullivan made a point of 選び出す／独身ing out previous chairman Eggert Magnusson for 新採用するing older players on 抱擁する 行う 取引，協定s as a short-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 直す／買収する，八百長をする to keep the club in the 首相 League.

And in the next breath, Sullivan 明らかにする／漏らすd he had been trying to buy Ruud 先頭 Nistelrooy on £100,000-a-week to do the same.

Birmingham City say they are familiar with these stories, where big 移転 talk is followed by a 追跡する of ‘近づく 行方不明になるs’ and 増大するing ticket prices.

Some of that 批評 is 不公平な, since Sullivan and Gold kept the Midlands club in 存在.

One thing is 確かな . There are so many West Ham fans at work on the sports desks of 国家の newspapers, the new owners aren’t going to get away with 密輸するing very much out of Upton Park in a brown paper 捕らえる、獲得する.

For starters, the ground’s 指名するing 権利s are up for 得る，とらえるs. I can see it now: The Ann Summers Stadium. Can they stay up? Ooh er, missus.

井戸／弁護士席 done. You’ve just sponsored Newcastle 部隊d. Yes, you the taxpayer have 手渡すd up to £10million over to a football club.

Northern 激しく揺する was in such a mess the 政府 nationalised it and now the directors of the 保釈（金）d-out organisation have decided to use your money to 支え（る） up another horribly-run 商売／仕事 - マイク Ashley’s laughable football circus.

Remember, this is the club that paid serial 違反者／犯罪者 Joey Barton £675,000 a year for ‘image 権利s’. So don’t worry, your money’s 明確に 安全な. I assume everyone is now する権利を与えるd to a 解放する／自由な ticket, or an 招待する to the Northern 激しく揺する 法人組織の／企業の box. After all, we’ve paid for it.

No 残り／休憩（する） from the wicket, 船長／主将

Andrew Strauss has dropped his first noticeable clanger by 選ぶing out of England’s 実験（する） 小旅行する of Bangladesh.

From this point on, as far as his captaincy is 関心d, it’s not a 事例／患者 of do as I do, but do as I say.

He is England’s leader and figurehead. It’s a 重荷（を負わせる） he has shouldered 井戸／弁護士席 on the whole, but this is not a 責任／義務 that can be 始める，決める aside, at least not without consequences.

Like it or not, Strauss has 始める，決める a precedent. Players can now 選ぶ and choose where and when they want to play for England and squeal about 不公平な 治療 if they are not welcomed 支援する with open 武器, like the captain.

What does Strauss (権利) do when Kevin Pietersen 宣言するs himself ‘too tired’ to play for England? Does he 診察する his かかわり合い, or 株 holiday stories?

Strauss doesn’t play Twenty20 cricket and could have 選ぶd out of the one-day games in Bangladesh, returning for the two 実験（する）s, without anyone batting an eyelid. Doing so, he would only have had to 関心 himself with little over a fortnight’s work in three months. That’s plenty of time to unwind on the sunlounger.

In a previous 存在 as the sports editor on a couple of 国家の papers, I tried to 説得する the cricket 特派員s to return at the end of any 実験（する） series and leave the one-day postscripts to a 副. The 合理的な／理性的な was it might save their marriages and reacquaint them with their offspring, as the players aren’t the only ones spending months away from their families.

The cricket writers always 拒絶する／低下するd. Not やむを得ず because they were happy to be thousands of miles away from their spouses, but because they were unwilling to give a subordinate the chance to 向こうずね in their absence.

It’s the same with the England captaincy. This is a hard-won honour. Y et it is an accolade very easily lost.

Michael Schumacher has 貿易（する）d numbers with his Mercedes team-mate Nico Rosberg and now has No 3 on his car instead of No 4. We are told this is because Schumacher is superstitious and ‘has a preference for 半端物 numbers’. Of course he does. Knowing Schumacher as we do, I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う his superstitions 延長する no その上の than 存在 明確に 明白な as the 最高の，を越す-階級d driver in his new team.

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