Michail Antonio opens up on starting therapy as the West Ham 星／主役にする 収容する／認めるs he fell out of love with football in the wake of his 離婚 and was 'praying for an 傷害'

By Tamara Prenn

Published: | Updated:

Michail Antonio has 株d that he is を受けるing therapy after 落ちるing out of love with football to the extent that the West Ham 星／主役にする once hoped that he would be sidelined with 傷害.?

The 34-year-old joined the 首相 League 味方する nine years ago on the heels of a meteoric rise from 非，不，無-league 味方する Tooting & Mitcham 部隊d, after stints at Reading, Sheffield Wednesday and Nottingham Forest.?

But にもかかわらず having a 継続している （一定の）期間 in the English 最高の，を越す-flight, Antonio ますます felt a 緊張する on his mental health 誘発するd by his 離婚 from ex-wife.?


The striker 自白するd that he had 'just started disliking the game' まっただ中に a period of extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役, brought on by events away from football, and that during a time which should have been one of his happiest - winning the Europa 会議／協議会 League with West Ham at the end of last season - he was 厳しく 'mentally drained'.??

'I was going through my 離婚 and stuff, and I honestly couldn't get my 長，率いる around it,' Antonio 株d on the High 業績／成果 podcast. 'After we won, the whole team went out, the gaffer (David Moyes) went out, got steaming, a couple of boys didn't sleep for two days, just got drunk for two days.?

Michael Antonio has bravely shared details on his mental health and undergoing therapy

Michael Antonio has bravely 株d 詳細（に述べる）s on his mental health and を受けるing therapy

The West Ham forward struggled with the mental strain of issues in his personal life intersecting with the sport

The West Ham 今後 struggled with the mental 緊張する of 問題／発行するs in his personal life intersecting with the sport

'I was asleep on the coach and went 支援する to the hotel. I was just mentally drained because of everything that was going on outside of my football and then I went 支援する to the hotel and went to sleep while everyone was out partying.'

'It wasn't until probably December where I was in a better place where I was like "Oh my God, I've won a European 選手権".'

But even before the festivities in Prague at the の近くに of the 2022-23 （選挙などの）運動をする, Antonio had felt 侵略（する）／超過（する） by a feeling of apathy に向かって his playing career.?

The 今後 公式文書，認めるd during one game in December 2022 that he could not stop thinking 'I'm not enjoying football.'?

'During the game, I was like, 'I'm really not enjoying this'. I?just felt やめる 消極的な. I'm a very 肯定的な person myself.

'I didn't 得点する／非難する／２０ from December until I think it was March, April time. And I just felt run-負かす／撃墜する. And then I went away with Jamaica because I was enjoying football with Jamaica for some strange 推論する／理由. But I 現実に prayed for an 傷害.

'I was like, "I just want to get 負傷させるd, I want some time off".

'And then I went away with Jamaica and I did my medial (膝 ligament, in November 2023).

'I was thinking to myself, "I'm 33. I can't afford to be 成し遂げるing this way, さもなければ I'm not going to get another 契約".

The 34-year-old revealed that it took nearly six months for it to sink in that he had won the Europa Conference League with West Ham last June

The 34-year-old 明らかにする／漏らすd that it took nearly six months for it to 沈む in that he had won the Europa 会議／協議会 League with West Ham last June

During an international spell with Jamaica, Antonio said that he prayed for injury to keep him from continuing playing

During an international （一定の）期間 with Jamaica, Antonio said that he prayed for 傷害 to keep him from continuing playing

'So, it's all those things that spiral through your mind. You're thinking, "Is this the end for me? Is this my football career over?"'

After first 捜し出すing support in December 2022, Antonio met with a number of therapists after first 捜し出すing support from his club's doctors and the PFA before 最終的に deciding to take the next step 独立して.??

Antonio 特記する／引用するd the gruelling club and international 需要・要求するs on players' schedules as 与える／捧げるing to his feelings about football, 追加するing that: 'because football's just constant, you're 絶えず just in it.?

'As soon as your life depends on it, as soon as you have people 絶えず berating you and criticising you, it becomes a 職業.

'So, it doesn't 事柄 how good it is, it doesn't 事柄 how much you love the game, it becomes an actual 職業 for you.'

'I started therapy because I was really struggling. And how I grew up, it was never a thing. I thought therapy was for crazy people. But therapy changed my life. At first it was ぎこちない, I'm not going to 嘘（をつく）. You're sat in the room, someone was there and goes, "How are you?"

'And your natural 返答 is "罰金". So, he's like, 'So why are you here?' I was like, "To be honest, like, football, I'm struggling with football, I 分裂（する） up with my missus".'

Before を受けるing the experience for which he 結局 sought therapy for, Antonio saw the game as his '逃亡' 追加するing that whatever personal 争い he was 苦しむing 以前, 'I went to football, and I could 黒人／ボイコット it out for the two hours that I was there or the four hours that I was there.'

'B ut then my life was a bit turned upside-負かす／撃墜する because 明白に I'm splitting up with my missus, my wife, and also, I'm not 成し遂げるing on the pitch and things are just not going 井戸／弁護士席 for me,' Antonio 追加するd.

'And then I'm a person where I'd never cry. And as I was talking to him, I just burst into 涙／ほころびs. It was uncontrollable. That gave me some type of 救済. And then like my chest felt like （疑いを）晴らす.'

Antonio joined West Ham from Nottingham Forest (pictured centre, in 2014) nine years ago

Antonio joined West Ham from Nottingham Forest (pictured centre, in 2014) nine years ago

The player believed that he will continue with therapy for another two years as he continues to work on trust and self-esteem issues

The player believed that he will continue with therapy for another two years as he continues to work on 信用 and self-esteem 問題／発行するs

The player （人命などを）奪う，主張するd that his 現在／一般に を受けるing 開会／開廷／会期s 週刊誌, and will look to continue therapy for another two years.??

Antonio, who 前線s BBC's Footballer's Football Podcast と一緒に Newcastle's Callum Wilson, 強調する／ストレスd that にもかかわらず 存在 seen as a 'very 確信して person', therapy had helped him to understand that he has difficult relaxing within himself.?

'Because growing up there was a lot of 外傷／ショックs that I dealt with,' Antonio 追加するd. 'So, I 避ける sitting within myself. And that's one thing that I learned 経由で therapy because it was true.'

The 首相 League striker 追加するd that difficulty making friendships and getting caught up with the wrong （人が）群がる as a 十代の少年少女 was another possible 与える／捧げるing factor in struggles with his self-esteem.?

'Let's just say I struggled to make friendships when I was in 最初の／主要な school,' Antonio 公式文書，認めるd. 'There was no one that was, I would say, my best friend until I was like 12 and then that person 肉親，親類d of left.

'When I was 14, I thought these people were my friends, these guys 結局最後にはーなる stealing a bike. The people got caught with the bikes.

But at this season's close, Antonio has shared that he is feeling more positive and excited about the remainder of his career

But at this season's の近くに, Antonio has 株d that he is feeling more 肯定的な and excited about the 残りの人，物 of his career

'They grouped up and said "Michail did it". I've been friends with them for three years, going to school every day with them, so it just made me 不信 people.'

But Antonio was keen to 強調する／ストレス that he is working に向かって 存在 in a better place, and is keen to continue his career for another 'three years'.?

The Jamaica international will look to do so under West Ham's 後継の 経営者／支配人 Julen Lopetegui ahead of next season.?

The former Wolves 長，率いる coach will 取って代わる 去っていく／社交的な boss David Moyes, who will call time on his second stint at the east London club with the final match of the （選挙などの）運動をする on Sunday.??

David MoyesEuropa 会議／協議会 League