排除的 Venice

Pop! Pop! Pop! I have never heard Bollinger 存在 uncorked at such a 率. It was like an episode of 絶対 Fabulous.

The first 瓶／封じ込める was opened as we 解除するd off from Farnborough, the second as we flew over the アルプス山脈, the third as we boarded our ヨット, moored off Venice.

Getting to Venice had never been easier. From parking my car at Farnborough to seeing my first paunchy American couple in a gondola - the quintessential Venetian vignette - took just two-and-a-half hours.

Say what you like about the rich, but they have made an art form of getting from A to B as quickly and painlessly as possible.

By 飛行機で行くing at 45,000ft, high above the plebs in the slow 小道／航路, the 操縦する of our eight-seater Learjet, an ex-Concorde captain, was able to shave 15 minutes off the time of scheduled flights.

Customs, 安全 and パスポート 支配（する）／統制する were 交渉するd in minutes. As our water taxi sped across the lagoon, taking us into the heart of the city, I felt like Leonardo DiCaprio arriving for the Venice Film Festival.

So far, so fabulous. But La Serenissima, the dreamiest, most glamorous city in the world, was not going to 産する／生じる without a struggle.

Venice is both a magnet to the 最高の-rich and an 障害 course from which the 最高の-rich retire 敗北・負かすd.

There is a proud, mulish streak in the Venetian character, as if to say: 'We will take your money, but take it on our 条件.'

私的な jets are 許容するd rather than encouraged. We were lucky, によれば our captain, to be 許すd to park the Learjet 夜通し at Venice airport, squeezing into a small gap next to Alan Sugar.

Space is 限られた／立憲的な and most 計画（する）s get コースを変えるd to Treviso, 20 miles away. 操縦するs of 私的な jets will tell you horror stories of getting the 小衝突-off from Venetian 空気／公表する traffic 監査役s.

Accommodation is also problematic. It's all very 井戸／弁護士席 nipping over to Ven ice for the 週末, but the fantasy loses its bloom unless you can stay somewhere ultra-排除的 that 始める，決めるs you apart from the herd.

In the 19th and 早期に 20th centuries, when the centre of Venice was regarded as smelly and unhealthy, the 最高の-rich stayed at the grand hotels on the Lido.

But you would have to be mad to stay there today. The first things you see are モーター cars - not the Venice of the postcards.

Of the famous hotels in the city proper, the Gritti Palace enjoys a 罰金 状況／情勢 on the Grand Canal but has 非，不，無-stop hordes of French tourists tramping past the 支援する door.

The Cipriani has a more secluded setting, but ーに関して／ーの点でs of atmosphere is too remote from the historic heart of the city.

As for the magnificent Danieli, the last time I stayed there the ロビー was under 2ft of water. When Venice floods, the hotel is in the 前線 line.

There was no danger of flooding on the Santa Cruz Tres, the floating 楽しみ palace where we spent the night.

This sleek 140ft 最高の-ヨット has just been refitted at 広大な cost by its British owner, a washing machine 大君.

There is gold in them thar 宙返り／暴落する-driers. No expense had been spared, no 詳細（に述べる） overlooked.

Even the 人工的な flowers which filled every cabin in Technicolor profusion looked as if they had been put through a 十分な 60-minute programme with an anti-crease cycle.

You could have swung two cats and a dog in my 二塁打-bedded cabin, which had every mod 反対／詐欺 imaginable. And the 調書をとる／予約するs! Any ヨット-owner whose library 含むs the memoirs of Sarah Ferguson is not short of a （頭が）ひょいと動く or two.

The Santa Cruz sleeps six to eight people and is put out to 借り切る／憲章 during the summer.

普通は, it is to be seen at San Remo or 巡航するing the 楽しみ 位置／汚点／見つけ出すs of the central Mediterranean. Cannes, Portofino, Positano...

ドッキングする／減らす／ドックに入れるing at Venice, as we were to discover, is much trickier. If the city welcomes rich ヨット owners with open 武器, it has an 半端物 way of showing it.

We moored 夜通し on the Riva Schiavoni, which could hardly have been more convenient. A short after-dinner stroll and we were in St 示す's Square, knocking 支援する a nightcap at Quadri's.

But by 6am the next day, we had been 軍隊d to 降伏する our 寝台／地位 to an obscenely large 巡航する ship.

It 封鎖するd out half the horizon and, before debouching 1,000-半端物 day-trippers on to the streets of Venice, belched plumes of 黒人／ボイコット smoke over the city.

All the 高級な ヨットs, 一方／合間, were moved to the 産業の backside of Venice, where we had a superb breakfast overlooking a car park.

It is only on a Friday, we were told, that 巡航する ships are given 優先 over ヨットs in this way; but the experience を強調するd just what a 堅い nut Venice is to 割れ目, however much money you have.

The city has its own way of doing things, its own traditions and, for better or worse, a hearty 疑惑 of fat-cat foreigners. Its outward 直面する may be aristocratic, but its soul is grubbily plebeian.

When we were fed up with looking at the car park, we 巡航するd out into the lagoon, swam, water-skied, drank more シャンペン酒 and admired the city from a distance.

But even there, our Venetian idyll was not 完全に hassle-解放する／自由な.

A police 開始する，打ち上げる roared up to remind us of 地元の shipping 規則s. From the 表現s on the 直面するs of the carabinieri, we could have been smugglers, not bona fide tourists.

Venice, in the end, had given us only half a welcome, not the red carpet 治療. But then if the city grovelled to everyone with money, would we still love it so much?

Monday 2 September, 2002

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