Christopher Biggins's I'm A Celebrity ジャングル 生き残り guide

By Christopher Biggins
Updated: 19:42 BST, 16 November 2008

予期しない 勝利: Christopher Biggins is 指名するd King of the ジャングル at the end of last year's series

I was 存在 held in a remote motel when they （機の）カム for me. I thought it was 早期に in the morning but couldn't be sure because they had already taken my watch and theirs were covered with masking tape.

Wordlessly, they 手渡すd me into the 支援する of a stiflingly hot, 黒人／ボイコットd-out 先頭 and we took off like a bat out of hell 負かす／撃墜する the potholed 跡をつける.

After what seemed like an eternity we screeched to a 停止（させる） and the door was flung open. A 乗組員 of burly men, dressed like ジャングル ゲリラ兵s, their 直面するs daubed with 偽装する paint, 動議d me out and I 現れるd, blinking, into the sunlight.

Again, conversation was not on the 協議事項 as they led me 負かす／撃墜する into a rainforest ravine, up the other 味方する and then 負かす／撃墜する another ravine.

We （機の）カム to the 辛勝する／優位 of a （疑いを）晴らすing and one of the guards raised his 手渡す to 示す I should stop.

Exhausted and disorientated, I was catching my breath when I heard a sound more alarming than anything else I had experienced up to that point: the dulcet トンs of a woman I would come to know as Janice Dickinson, an American former model. Then I heard the familiar 発言する／表明するs of Ant and Dec.

Here we go Biggins, I thought, welcome to I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!

The 最新の 一連の Britain's most popular game show begins tonight on ITV1, which means my own 統治する as King Of The ジャングル, the 勝利者 of last year's show, is 製図／抽選 to a clo se.

The red team members, from left,? Brian Paddick, Martina Navratilova, Joe Swash, Dani Behr and George Takei at the Palazzo Versace Hotel, Surfers 楽園

I will be watching the show with a mixture of pity and envy. Taking part was an 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の experience and I loved every moment of it, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever done and I would never, ever do it again.

Entertainment is a serious 商売／仕事 and, にもかかわらず what cynics may think, no one takes it more 本気で than the 生産者s of I'm A Celebrity.

What テレビ視聴者s see on 審査する is only the tip of the 広大な I'm A Celebrity iceberg. What goes on behind the scenes is even more fascinating.

Take the programme-製造者s' obsession with secrecy, for example.

From the moment they are approached, it is made （疑いを）晴らす to contestants that if they talk to the 圧力（をかける）, or indeed anyone, they're out. 'We've got plenty of reserves lined up,' I was 警告するd.

My lips were 調印（する）d but, my God, it was agony. Discretion is not my middle 指名する.

Yellow team members, from left, Carly Zucker, Simon Webbe and Nicola McLean

However, I somehow managed to 納得させる pals that the 推論する／理由 I wasn't doing pantomime for the first time in four １０年間s was that I was 伴う／関わるd in a film that was 存在 発射 over Christmas and I wasn't 許すd to give any more 詳細（に述べる）s.

Secrecy was also 重要な to the photoshoot 始める，決める up to 促進する the new series. The contestants mustn't 会合，会う, so we were driven 分かれて to a studio in North London. Then we were 急ぐd up and 負かす／撃墜する 回廊（地帯）s as the 生産／産物 assistants' headphones buzzed with muffled 指示／教授／教育s and requests.

I later discovered, from talking to my fellow ジャングル-dwellers, that we had arrived at 30-minute intervals and as one of us entered the studio, another was 存在 勧めるd out by the 支援する door.

Esther Rantzen and Robert Kilroy-Silk arrives are also yellow team members

Contestants are also sent, 分かれて, to see a psychiatrist to make sure they're not going to have a 決裂／故障 in the ジャングル. (It did occur to me that this was something of a Catch 22 状況／情勢 - surely if you are crazy enough to want to take part, you should be disqualified from doing so.)

There's nothing I like more than talking about myself, so I spent a very pleasant two hours chatting to a lovely lady called Sandra.

に向かって the end, out of the blue, she said: 'How's your libido Christopher?' Should I be 打ち勝つ by 勧めるs, she 示唆するd, I should retire to the 'dunny' - the lavatory - to …に出席する to them.

I can 保証する you I did not succumb to any such 勧めるs, and nor did any of the other contestants. (Yes, I did ask them. I did tell you that discretion isn't really me.)

The contestants are flown to Australia's Gold Coast, where the programme is made, a few days before they are 予定 to enter the ジャングル.

Again, they are kept far apart and even flown out on ten different flights to throw the 圧力（をかける） off the scent.

They spend a few days in the 高級な Palazzo Versace hotel in Gold Coast city - …を伴ってd at all times by a chaperone - before the show begins.

I joined the show after the other contestants, so I spent the first couple of days in a different hotel before transferring to the Palazzo Versace when the others had gone.

It is everything that the 指名する 暗示するs. Very 有望な, very expensive. Biggins 産する／生じるs to no man in h is love of the good life, but I still don't think Versace style will ever be for me.

Wild things: Four of this year's celebrity 犠牲者s - clockwise from 最高の，を越す left, Carly, Brian , Nicola and Simon

After my minder 押収するd my watch and my 動きやすい, I wasn't 許すd to watch television or スピードを出す／記録につける on to the internet to find out about the show. Nor was I 許すd to go anywhere on my own.

The 最高潮の場面 of my stay was a visit from Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く, the show's medic. He ran through the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of possible 落し穴s. It was a worryingly long 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）.

He told me all about the dangerous spiders - the small, shiny 黒人／ボイコット ones are the worst - and 述べるd the 13 種類 of snake in the （軍の）野営地，陣営 area, seven of which are deadly.

He 論証するd how I should walk sideways on the rugged 地形 to minimise the 危険 of breaking my ankles.

He 強調d the need to 正確に 準備する drinking water to 避ける hideous 病気s. It was all 毒（薬） this, bite that, danger the other.

I 自白する that, up to this point, I had been 推定する／予想するing the whole thing to be a bit of a giggle. After all, physical hardship is not the Biggins way. I feel as if I'm 実験（する）ing the 境界s of endurance when I can't get my favourite （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する at The Ivy. If there's a spider in the bath at home, I have to get my partner Neil to 除去する it.

But Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く left me in no 疑問 that I was about to enter a real ジャングル, not a sanitised film 始める，決める and that it was more, not いっそう少なく, serious than it looked. Malcolm McLaren, who was meant to be on the same show as me, got 冷淡な feet after talking to Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く and pulled out.

I started to wonder just what I had got myself into.

ジャングル 戦争: TV presenter Dani Behr will be 戦う／戦いing for the 栄冠を与える in this year's I'm A Celebrity

Later on, just how pertinent Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く's 警告s were was brought home when Janice was bitten by a ネズミ in the middle of the night. And on several occasions we were told over the PA that a poisonous snake had slithered into （軍の）野営地，陣営.

After a couple of days at the Palazzo Versace I was driven for an hour-and-a-half to the middle of nowhere and dropped off at a motel that made 十字路／岐路 look like Claridge's.

I was given my 規則 uniform - long trousers, short trousers, wet gear, boots, shirts with your 指名する on the 支援する, hat. Everything else was taken away, apart from three pairs of pants and my swimming gear.

Then I was taken in the 黒人／ボイコットd-out 先頭 to the ジャングル 構内／化合物 and marched to the （疑いを）晴らすing in which the 裁判，公判s take place.

I made my I'm A Celebrity debut during a live 裁判，公判 - where contestants を受ける a variety of unpleasant experiences ーするために 勝利，勝つ food for the （軍の）野営地，陣営 - on which I was meant to be 補助装置d by Janice, who became my bete noire.

What seemed like seconds later, I was inside a 'bug 議会' covered in an evil-smelling gunk consisting of a mixture of three-month-old rotten eggs ('Maggots love it,' Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く had told me, with what seemed suspiciously like sadistic relish) and decaying fish stew - and my mouth was 十分な of cockroaches.

I realised, in a moment of clarity, that I had given up all 支配（する）／統制する of my life for the duration of the show.

Then it was about an hour's walk to the main part of the （軍の）野営地，陣営. When I got there I was told I couldn't have a にわか雨. The 再生利用するing system and the fish 規模s couldn't mix, so I had to wash in the pond.

From the start, I 設立する out that l ife in the ジャングル was much, much tougher than I'd imagined.

I know many people have become 冷笑的な about TV trickery, but 信用 me, everything you see on I'm A Celebrity is real. The celebrities aren't 素早い行動d off to a 高級な hotel every evening. They aren't feasting on gourmet food when the cameras are switched off.

In fact, the cameras are never switched off. There are around 70 of them and they 逮捕（する） contestants' every 選び出す／独身 move.

The 大多数 are remotely operated but there are six manually operated cameras trained on the main living area, which is about 30ft square.

The cameramen and women are in uncomfortable, 偽装するd hides, infested with spiders and creepy-crawlies. The 12in by 12in レンズs are 明白な to the contestants, but you soon forget about them, until you hear a mysterious sneeze or cough.

At the 包む party one カメラマン told me he'd had a couple of beers at lunchtime one day and, 支援する on his 転換, was so bored that he nodded off and fell off his stool with a 衝突，墜落.

It takes an enormous army of people to bring I'm A Celebrity to the 審査する - 700 in all: 生産者s, sound guys, directors, electricians, editors and so on. Many of them stay in apartments in the Gold Coast 郊外 of Coolangatta, about 45 minutes away from the （軍の）野営地，陣営.

There is another 乗組員 野営 in the ジャングル. This is where the celebrities' families are brought each morning as they wait to see who is going to be 立ち退かせるd.

の中で other things at the 場所／位置, there are editing 控訴s, technical 施設s and a caf? serving excellent food. On some mornings, the smell of cooking bacon would drift all the way over to the celebrities' （軍の）野営地，陣営 - it was 絶対の 拷問!

The 乗組員 work hard, but they also play - and drink - hard. When a group of talented and attractive young people are working under 広大な／多数の／重要な 圧力 it is natural for them to 捜し出す 解放（する）.

Whatever the psychiatrist's 関心s about the celebrities' libidos, the 乗組員 certainly don't seem to have any problems in that area. When I went 支援する to visit their （軍の）野営地，陣営 recently, many of the ladies I knew from last year were 妊娠している.

You begin to understand the need for so many people when you consider that every day, 24 hours of （映画の）フィート数 from 70 cameras has to be edited into an entertaining, one-hour 一括.

Heat and dust: Members of the 700-strong 乗組員 at work in the ジャングル

Of course, because of the editing, テレビ視聴者s aren't able to see everything. When I undertook one of the 悪名高い bushtucker 裁判，公判s - in which a contestant has to eat insects and worse - one of the tasty morsels I was given was a kangaroo penis.

The 支配するs 明言する／公表する that you have to swallow the titbit, and the 生産者s are sticklers for the 支配するs.

What the programme was unable to show was the fact that I chewed that blessed thing for 15 minutes. It was so gristly that I 簡単に couldn't swallow it. The 乗組員 and even Ant and Dec were becoming bored.

結局, Dec leaned 今後 and said: 'Just bite a bit off and swallow that, Biggins, and we'll call it a day.' After that, witchetty grubs were a 肯定的な 扱う／治療する.

存在 in the （軍の）野営地，陣営 伴う／関わるs a lot of physical work. If I didn't have the 団体／死体 and stamina of a finely honed 競技者, I'm not sure how I would have 対処するd with it all.

The 解雇する／砲火／射撃 in the centre of the （軍の）野営地，陣営 must never go out, さもなければ the place would be 押し寄せる／沼地d with ネズミs, so 支持を得ようと努めるd must be collected about 20 times a day from an area a ４半期/4分の1 o f a mile from the （軍の）野営地，陣営.

Crossing the 橋（渡しをする）s that lead to the 裁判，公判s area is difficult - and terrifying. Just trying to keep yourself and your 着せる／賦与するs reasonably clean is a major 成果／努力. And, of course, you're 絶えず hungry.

It all wears you 負かす／撃墜する. Yet, oddly, I don't think I've ever slept so soundly in my life as I did in the ジャングル, for the three weeks I was there.

Then there is the 緊張 of evictions. Every morning you are 負傷させる up as tight as a spring because, although people might 影響する／感情 an 空気／公表する of insouciance or even delight when they are 立ち退かせるd, believe me, no one wants to leave.

Ant and Dec, friends of 地雷 who I have worked with before, are professional. There's no larking about or 'All 権利, Biggins? How are you, mate?' The contestants see them only at 裁判，公判s and evictions.

You can't 推定する／予想する to get on with everyone in the ジャングル. Janice frequently rubbed me, and everyone else, up the wrong way.

She （機の）カム over as devious, dishonest and a monster. The uppers and downers she said she needed made her emotions even more pronounced. The crocodile 涙／ほころびs and faux despair at everyone else's evictions were award-winning stuff.

Many was the time I could have killed her. She was 明確に in it to 勝利，勝つ it.

But when I agreed to take part, I never dreamed that I would be the 勝利者. It was a wonderful surprise when I did. It made me feel やめる emotional. It still does.

After the show, you see Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く again who gives you a health check.

Staff in one of the 14 high-tech editing 控訴s piece 調査する the day's 24-hour （映画の）フィート数 to compose the one-hour show

'You've lost 2st and about 20 years, I reckon,' he told me - and in the space of a year I've put it all 支援する on. My cholesterol level had also 急落するd.

Incidentally, I'm not sure what sort of 衝撃 kangaroo parts have on cholesterol, but Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く told me last week that there is a new item on the menu in the bushtucker 裁判，公判s that he thinks most people will きっぱりと 辞退する to eat. I shudder to think what it might be.

I saw a psychiatrist again for a debrief and to check that I hadn't been driven insane by the experience.

I had a bath, and a cheese 挟む, which was the thing I had most craved while in the ジャングル. And then I went to a party with the 700 乗組員 members. I 断言する I must have 調印するd my autograph for every 選び出す／独身 one of them.

Having been with ten people at most for the previous fortnight, it was a bit of a shock to the system. I kept bursting into 涙／ほころびs.

Looking 支援する on it, it all seems like a dream, yet I have just had the busiest 12 months of my career, so I know that it was real.

I will be watching the show this year and I will 放棄する my 栄冠を与える reluctantly, but I'm happy to be 支援する in pantomime. Buttons, in Cinderella, in Southampton, since you ask. Everyone agrees that I'm far too pretty to play an Ugly Sister.

Oh, and the ネズミ that bit Janice? They tell me it's just about 回復するd.

My winning tips - go on a diet and take a comfy 議長，司会を務める

1. Just be yourself. Don't try to be someone you are not. I think that was one of Janice Dickinson's downfalls. She became so exhausted by the end she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing. Play to the camera and you are done for, because the テレビ視聴者s are no fools.

2. 退屈 is the toughest thing to を取り引きする. There is nothing to read, nothing to 令状 with, no TV or 無線で通信する. No wonder I never stopped talking. Dr （頭が）ひょいと動く advises making the most of the experience by taking 楽しみ in your surroundings - the animals, insects, trees and 工場／植物s. He was 権利. When would I ever have the 適切な時期 to see things such as baby crayfish in a creek?

3. Hunger is another problem. A lot of people make the mistake of eating a 抱擁する meal before they go into the ジャングル, but that only swells the stomach and 最終的に makes you even hungrier. Three months before joining the show I gave up alcohol, and a month before I went in I went on a protein and vegetable diet, as you could probably tell from my svelte physique. It meant I never got as hungry as everyone else.

4. 扱う／治療する yourself to a nice sit-負かす／撃墜する. Contestants are 許すd to take one 高級な into the （軍の）野営地，陣営 - and 地雷 was a 議長，司会を務める. My only mistake was to buy a cheap one. The 議長，司会を務める 証明するd so popular with the other contestants (there are no proper seats in the （軍の）野営地，陣営) that it was broken within four days.

5. Think of the whole thing as a sort of 堅い-love health farm. Remember, some people are willing to part with thousands of 続けざまに猛撃するs to have the sort of experience you are 存在 paid to 耐える.

Vest friends: Christopher and Janice fell out in the ジャングル last year

3,000 eggs and 5 miles of rope

? Three thousand eggs, 880lb of potatoes, 660lb of steak and 220lb of ice cream - 8,500 meals in total - are eaten at work by the 乗組員 during the making of I'm A Celebrity.

? This is the eighth 一連の the show, which attracted audiences of up to 9.2million last year. America, Germany, フラン, the Netherlands and Hungary all have their own 見解／翻訳／版s of the show.

? Previous kings and queens 含む Tony Blackburn, Phil Tufnell, Kerry Katona, Joe
Pasquale, Carol Thatcher, Matt Willis and, of course, Christopher Biggins.

? Sixty トンs of scaffolding, five miles of steel cabling and four miles of rope are used around the ジャングル 始める，決める.

? Thirty portable cabins house £3million 価値（がある） of technical 器具／備品. Eleven 発生させる人（物）s 力／強力にする the 場所／位置 and 14 editing 控訴s work around the clock to produce the show, which is transmitted 支援する to Britain 経由で two 衛星s.

? One of this year's 犠牲者s, 71-year-old George Takei, who played Mr Sulu in 星／主役にする Trek, is the oldest contestant ever to take part.

? Twenty-three per cent of Australia's reptile 種類 can be 設立する in the I'm A Celebrity ジャングル.

? Just Biggins: My Story by Christopher Biggins is published by John Blake. To order your copy at the special price of £17.10 with 解放する／自由な p&p, call the Review Bookstore on 0845 155 0713.