CRAIG BROWN: All things 有望な and beautiful? Give me a break!

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The day before yesterday, Lord Lisvane, the distinguished former Clerk of the House of ありふれたs, wrote a bitter diatribe to The Times.

A few years ago, he led the 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 against John Bercow, complaining ― やめる rightly, as it turned out ― that the former （衆議院の）議長 of the ありふれたs was a serial いじめ（る）. But Lord Lisvane has now pointed his guns at something much more popular: the 井戸／弁護士席-loved hymn All Things 有望な And Beautiful.

'We are fortunate in this country to have such a splendid repertoire of hymns: English, Welsh, Anglican, 非，不，無-Conformist, mighty, joyous, reflective, 平和的な,' he complained in his letter. 'Why, then, do we have to 苦しむ All Things 有望な and Beautiful?'

For the past 46 years, he has been a church organist. Over that time, he 見積（る）s that the hymn has been chosen by 'about half the 関係者s in weddings I play for'.

As Lord Lisvane 示唆するs, the tune of All Things 有望な and Beautiful happens to be 極端に catchy (在庫／株 image)?

A few years ago, Lord Lisvane (pictured) led the 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 against John Bercow , complaining ― やめる rightly, as it turned out ― that the former （衆議院の）議長 of the ありふれたs was a serial いじめ（る）

It all 開始するs up. Even if that's only ten weddings a year, he must have played the hymn on 460 occasions. The 十分な 見解／翻訳／版 of All Things 有望な and Beautiful takes over four minutes to get through (perhaps even five minutes if the singing is 特に 不振の), so that 追加するs up to 1,840 minutes, or over 30 hours of having to play it. 許すing more time for rehe arsals, that could 量 to two or three days 爆破ing out a hymn he 明確に loathes.

'I find the saccharine doggerel, 連合させるd with the jingly tune... 深く，強烈に depressing ― 特に when there are so many wonderful 代案／選択肢s,' he explains.

It is hard not to feel sorry for poor Lord Lisvane, after a lifetime spent playing a hymn he can't 耐える. First Bercow, and now this!

As he 示唆するs, the tune of All Things 有望な and Beautiful happens to be 極端に catchy, which is surely one 推論する／理由 it is so often requested. Whether you love it or loathe it, it ぐずぐず残るs in the brain, which is why it gets on Lord Lisvane's 神経s long after he has sounded the final 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 on the 組織／臓器.

The same 適用するs to me. Having started to 令状 about it, I am already finding that I can't get rid of it. 'All things 有望な and beauuuu-ti-十分な,' drones the dreary chorus in my 長，率いる, 'all crea-tures 広大な／多数の／重要な and smaaaaalll.'

I wonder if the same thing happened to Lord Lisvane? Has his （民事の）告訴 backfired? After complaining about All Things 有望な and Beautiful to The Times, has he 設立する it coming 支援する to haunt him?

I'm reminded of the mountaineer Joe Simpson, author of Touching The 無効の. In 1985, while climbing in the Andes, he fell into a crevasse and 苦しむd 厳しい 傷害s. 直面するd with the prospect of 切迫した death, and in a 半分-delirious 明言する／公表する, he was unable to get the tune and words of a pop song that he hated ― 'Brown girl in the （犯罪の）一味, tra la la la la' ― out of his 長，率いる.

Ever since Sunday night, when I stupidly watched a TV show about Neil Diamond (pictured), his catchy song 甘い Caroline has been 疫病／悩ますing me?

'I remember thinking, 血まみれの hell, I'm going to die to Boney M.'

I know how he feels. Ever since Sunday night, when I stupidly watched a TV show about Neil Diamond, his catchy song 甘い Caroline has been 疫病／悩ますing me, so that I'm now relieved that All Things 有望な And Beautiful has made a successful 企て，努力，提案 to 取って代わる it:

Sweeeeeeeeet Car-o-line, doo doo dooooo,

Good times never seemed so good.

I've been inclined, doo doo dooooo.

To believe they never wooooould.

Of course, 甘い Caroline is 特に irritating, because its lyrics are so daft. If Mr Diamond really thinks that good times weren't so good, then why did he 述べる them as good in the first place? Why not 述べる them as not so good, or unsatisfactory, or even 深く，強烈に disappointing?

Yet the tune is so catchy that it has been taken up by sports fans the world over. 'You can't （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 a bit of 甘い Caroline,' 観察するd Gareth Southgate after 40,000 football fans sang it when the England football team （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 Germany 2-0 in Euro 2020.

Why do so many football fans continue to sing 甘い Caroline? It's not as though any 目だつ footballer is called Caroline, at least in public. But there is no logic to the relentless 前進する of catchiness in a song: it 無視／無効s everything else, as Lord Lisvane has discovered, to his cost.