CAROLINE WEST-MEADS: My husband has always been in 支配（する）／統制する of my life
Q?I have been married nearly 20 years ? but for at least the past six I've not felt any love for my husband. He tells me he feels the same. However, we remain together as we have a ten-year-old son.
I feel that my husband has always been in 支配（する）／統制する of my life and has made all the major 決定／判定勝ち（する）s.
最初?I moved into a house that he owned and then, when he decided on a self-build 事業／計画（する）, he 固執するd even though I wasn't keen and we moved without any 言及／関連 to my wishes.
I have always 与える／捧げるd and worked continuously over the years, but he 扱う／治療するs the house as his alone and has 辞退するd to 追加する me?to the mortgage or discuss anything 財政上の to do with the house, apart from what he 手配中の，お尋ね者 me to 与える／捧げる.
He doesn't work ? something I never agreed to ? 反して I have to work 十分な-time as the 世帯 法案s are in my 指名する. This is on 最高の，を越す of 存在 a mum to our son, with whom I'd love to spend more time.
Q I have been married nearly 20 years ? but for at least the past six I've not felt any love for my husband. He tells me he feels the same. 在庫／株 image used
I even have to put him in childcare twice a week because my husband won't help. I feel 不公平に 扱う／治療するd and want a 離婚, but the house is in his 指名する and he is ありそうもない to give me a 株 without a fight.
I know he would 辞退する to move out. I realise that I need 合法的な advice but can't 直面する approaching a solicitor.
I also worry about how a 離婚 would 影響する／感情 our son ? though I don't want him to think the disharmony between us is how 関係s are.
A?Yes, you are 存在 very 不公平に 扱う／治療するd. In fact, his behaviour could be considered 財政上の 乱用 ? where one partner 支配（する）／統制するs the other through money.
There are so many red 旗s here, such as your husband appearing to be 'in 支配（する）／統制する of your life' and 辞退するing to 株 詳細（に述べる）s of his 財政／金融s with you ? yet 推定する／予想するing you to 与える／捧げる to the 世帯 income.
You are 存在 軍隊d to work when he 明確に feels he doesn't have to. His controlling behaviour is hugely 関心ing.
At the very least, it is 深く，強烈に selfish for him to have 圧力（をかける）d ahead with a building 事業／計画（する） against your wishes. Marriage should be about teamwork.
I understand your 関心s about 離婚 影響する／感情ing your son but staying together could be just as 損失ing. Children 選ぶ up on parents' unhappi ness.
It is because your husband has 土台を崩すd you ? and your self-esteem is low ? that you don't feel able to 接触する a solicitor.
So start with counselling to 演説（する）／住所 this (relate.org.uk or bacp.co.uk, or 接触する your GP).
Once you feel stronger, there are two very good organisations that can help you.
決意／決議.org.uk?(a 網状組織 of family lawyers) and Wikivorce ? an award-winning social 企業 that 供給するs 解放する／自由な advice for people in your 状況／情勢 (離婚.wikivorce.com).
I CAN'T FACE A WEEKEND AWAY WITH THIS WOMAN
Q Our friends have 招待するd us for a long 週末 at their holiday home next month. I was looking 今後 to it, but they have now also 招待するd another couple we know.?
They are nice enough, but the wife is hard work. While she is 井戸／弁護士席-meaning, she never stops talking. My husband and I usually only see them in small doses at events such as dinner parties. The prospect of spending a whole 週末 with this second couple is very unappealing ? and my husband is now 辞退するing to go.
I can't say I 非難する him because he has an incredibly 需要・要求するing 職業 and just needs to relax at the 週末s.
However, it leaves me in a tricky position. He says he doesn't mind if I go but would prefer I spend the 週末 with him ? as we get so little time together. I would feel so 有罪の letting my generous friend 負かす／撃墜する.
Q Our friends have 招待するd us for a long 週末 at their holiday home next month. I was looking 今後 to it, but they have now also 招待するd another couple we know. 在庫／株 image used
A In this 状況／情勢 you 簡単に cannot please everyone.
I sense you would really rather be with your husband and it's a shame that the 週末 you were looking 今後 to has lost its 控訴，上告.
I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う your friends may have felt 強いるd to 招待する the other couple but also couldn't 直面する them undiluted. It is difficult when people are essentially nice but, as in the 事例／患者 of the second couple's wife, have no 'off' button or self-認識／意識性 of how much they 支配する a conversation.
So I think, unfortunately, time with your husband might have to be sacrificed on the altar of 義務 for now, to 避ける upsetting your friend.
Perhaps you could?go for one night instead of two as a 妥協 ? and take long baths or a p re-dinner nap when it gets too much! 約束 your husband a 週末 for just the two of you very soon.
If you have a problem, 令状 to Caroline West-Meads at YOU, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, or email c.west-meads@mailonsunday.co.uk. You can follow Caroline on Twitter @Ask_Caroline_
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