When 42-year-old Samantha Brick wrote of her desperation to become a mother she was inundated with emails. Here are some of your stories...
In 返答 to Samantha Brick's feature about her longing to become a mother of a 確かな age, five women 明らかにする／漏らす what it's really like to have a baby over 40:
‘We decided on the 寄贈者 egg 大勝する’
Sarah Killick, 48, housewife
Lives 近づく Faversham, Canterbury
Spent £20,000
Time taken four years
Sarah conceived Bertie, now five, 経由で 寄贈者 egg IVF after three failed 一連の会議、交渉／完成するs of IVF
'After the 移転 of the embryo, I spent two days in bed in a hotel along the coast. The egg "took" just like that...' Sarah Killick with son Bertie, five
I read Samantha’s article and すぐに sent her an email ? I 手配中の，お尋ね者 her to know how I finally got my son. My partner Philip and I did all the 権利 things during our three 私的な 試みる／企てるs at IVF but the egg just wouldn’t ‘take’.
The 影響s of the 医薬 and the 圧倒的な 失望 when it didn’t work all became too much for me, so we decided that we’d go 負かす／撃墜する the 寄贈者 egg 大勝する.
We were advised to go to Spain, where 匿名の／不明の egg 寄付 is 規制するd by the 明言する／公表する. I 研究d it carefully, and （機の）カム up with a couple of clinics to visit ? we were amazed by their professionalism.
During our first 協議 at the Institut Marqu?s in Barc elona we were told I could start the 治療 at the beginning of my next period, which was the に引き続いて week.
'Bertie was born in May 2008 and then, one day, he asked a question about how he （機の）カム to be born, and I told the truth. Needless to say it isn’t an 問題／発行する now'
The doctor spoke perfect English and had a 広大な／多数の／重要な sense of humour too, which helped. We decided to 延期する it by a month for me to adjust to the idea, because although we would be using Philip’s sperm, we would not be using my eggs.
Using the eggs from a younger 寄贈者 gives you a much better chance of success. Because we had the 治療 in Spain, where egg 寄付 is 匿名の／不明の, this also means my son won’t be able to 会合，会う the 寄贈者 when he is 18 ? which is my preference and not 現在の practice in the UK. All I knew about the 寄贈者 was her age (23), 高さ and hair colour, which they try to match with yours as much as possible. If my son becomes ill we can 接触する her too.
After the 移転 of the embryo, I spent two days in bed in a hotel along the coast. The egg ‘took’ just like that…and a few days later we were 飛行機で行くing home to the UK. I did worry how I was going to explain the 寄贈者 egg ? how Bertie was made and when to say it.
Bertie was born in May 2008 and then, one day, he asked a question about how he （機の）カム to be born, and I told the truth. Needless to say it isn’t an 問題／発行する now.
I was apprehensive about the 寄贈者 egg 大勝する, but that was 簡単に because I didn’t understand enough about it. Now that I have my son, and realise that I needn’t have worried, I really support it. I’m incredibly proud of Bertie, and so 感謝する to have him.
’After IVF in Spain, we discovered that I was 妊娠している’
Ellie Stoneley, 49, writer
Lives Cambridge
Spent between £6,000 - £8,000
Time taken five years
Ellie had one 一連の会議、交渉／完成する of IVF and gave birth to daughter Hope, now 17 months, in January 2012
'I might be the oldest mum at the school gates, but I'll be the proudest.' Ellie Stoneley, 49, with daughter Hope
I met my husband Roy just before my 40th birthday. We 手配中の，お尋ね者 to have a child together, but sadly I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in 2006 and didn’t conceive 自然に again 予定 to a problem with one of my fallopian tubes.
We married in the autumn of 2008; tragically my father died the same week. I was 圧倒するd by his death, and had problems with my 免疫の system, so it wasn’t until 早期に 2011 that I was able to を受ける my one and only IVF 試みる／企てる.
We had to go 個人として, as 35 was the NHS 削減（する）-off age where I live. I’d 研究d a clinic in Spain which had a high success 率 with older women, but before we started I travelled to India for three weeks of 集中的な ayurvedic 治療.
'I know I’m a better mum now than I would have been in my 20s because I am more 用意が出来ている to make time for Hope'
I 手配中の，お尋ね者 my 団体／死体 and mind to be as 用意が出来ている as possible. It was a lot of hard work but the 準備 paid off, and to our utter joy ? after IVF at the clinic in Spain ? we discovered that I was 妊娠している in May 2011. I had the 支援 and support of friends, family and doctors, who were pragmatic about the 危険s of having a baby later in life, and I kept fit and healthy throughout the pregnancy.
At the beginning of December, when I was eight months 妊娠している, a taxi I was riding in swerved suddenly and I was thrown against my seatbelt. The に引き続いて day the baby stopped moving. I was 認める to hospital and scanned every day and the baby’s heartbeat was checked three times a day. The baby was alive and さもなければ healthy; it just didn’t move for 15 days.
I was given steroids to 強化する the baby’s 肺s. Miraculously it started moving again on Christmas Eve.
Hope was 配達するd four weeks 早期に by caesarean section in January 2012.? Nine days later we brought her home.
I know I’m a better mum now than I would have been in my 20s because I am more 用意が出来ている to make time for Hope. I might be the oldest mum at the school gates, but I’ll be the proudest. I now run a blog to raise 認識／意識性 for older mothers and tell the story of our incredible 旅行 together.
crazypregnantperson.com
‘I tried acupuncture and lifestyle changes’
Jane Parker, 44, advertising director
Lives London
Spent £10,000
Time taken one year
Jane conceived Rupert, now three, 自然に after having acupuncture and Chinese 薬／医学 (and に引き続いて two failed 一連の会議、交渉／完成するs of IVF)
'I went along with my doctor's suggestion of IV F because I felt so 攻撃を受けやすい' Jane with Rupert as a baby
I married in 2007 at 39. I tried to get 妊娠している 自然に but thought that ? given my age ?
I should also have a fertility MOT.
While I was having this, one of the doctors について言及するd IVF. He explained that the younger you are, the stronger the chance of IVF success. I went along with his suggestion because I felt so 攻撃を受けやすい.
My husband and I underwent two cycles of IVF, one after the other, at a 井戸／弁護士席-known clinic. I 答える／応じるd 井戸／弁護士席 to the first 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, and two embryos were transferred, but didn’t ‘take’. The second time, we failed even to produce any embryos.
'I was told that for someone of my age at this point in my life it was ありそうもない that I’d ever have a child 自然に. I was shaken to the 核心 ? I’d always assumed we’d have a baby'
I was then told that for someone of my age at this point in my life it was ありそうもない that I’d ever have a child 自然に. I was shaken to the 核心 ? I’d always assumed we’d have a baby.
The に引き続いて week ? coincidentally ? I had an 任命 with fertility 専門家 Dr Zhai. I’d read an article about her, and had arranged it even before I’d had the IVF ? she had a long waiting 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）. I was in an emotional 明言する／公表する of shock when I saw her in December 2008.
I was 納得させるd she was going to tell me I was too old. Yet she was incredibly 安心させるing, giving me 信用／信任 without raising my hopes to unrealistic levels.
She ran a 一連の checks 含むing 血 実験（する）s and ざっと目を通すs. She only prescrib
es after she’s
been through the results. In January 2009, と一緒に 正規の／正選手 acupuncture 開会／開廷／会期s, I started taking 特に 用意が出来ている herbs, に引き続いて her advice on which 補足（する）s to take and made several changes to my lifestyle (含むing giving up alcohol, taking no vigorous 演習 and 避けるing 冷淡な drinks).
One month later, I’d just returned from holiday and realised my period was late. I bought a pregnancy 実験（する） and discovered I was 推定する／予想するing! I carried on with the acupuncture, herbs and 補足（する）s throughout the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.
I gave birth to Rupert in November 2009 when I was 41. I genuinely believe that if I hadn’t seen
Dr Zhai, I wouldn’t have my son.
zhaiclinic.com
'My 団体／死体 was failing me’
Catherine Havery, 44, 上級の cabin 乗組員
Lives Manchester
Spent £5,500
Time taken eight years
Catherine conceived William, two, 経由で IVF after 存在 診断するd with a septum of the womb.
'After the IVF failed the second time I genuinely felt like life wasn't 価値（がある） living' Catherine Havery, 44, with son William, two
I met Gareth in 2003 when I was 34. After three years of trying for a baby, we had 実験（する）s in 2006 to 設立する why I wasn’t 落ちるing 妊娠している.
Everything （機の）カム 支援する 罰金. Out of the blue we then received a letter explaining we’d automatically been put on an IVF waiting 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）.
I’m 可決する・採択するd and my mum had already died ? I had no way of knowing if there was anything hereditary that was 原因（となる）ing me to fail to conceive 自然に.
I was 39 when I had two 一連の会議、交渉／完成するs of IVF in 2008, one in January and one in May. I was really 焦点（を合わせる）d during each 試みる／企てる, though I’d been told I only had a five per cent chance of success.
'I don’t think counsellors, if they 港／避難所’t been through infertility, can fully 高く評価する／（相場などが）上がる the 量 of 強調する／ストレス you're under'
After the IVF failed the second time I genuinely felt like life wasn’t 価値（がある） living.
I don’t think counsellors, if they 港／避難所’t been through infertility, can fully 高く評価する／（相場などが）上がる the 量 of 強調する／ストレス you’re under.
I turned 40 a month after the second 試みる／企てる ? and
my third and final NHS IVF cycle was cancelled. If we 手配中の，お尋ね者 to try again, we had to 支払う／賃金.
に向かって the end of 2008 I also 苦しむd two natural miscarriages. My 団体／死体 was failing me again. I just couldn’t believe it ? what was wrong with me? I even considered having a hysterectomy.
At our first 私的な 任命, my 顧問 ? who specialises in 頻発する miscarriages ? explained that he 手配中の，お尋ね者 to 確実にする my uterus was healthy before going ahead with 治療. We couldn’t afford to 支払う／賃金 for an anaesthetic, and the 探検の／予備の 手続き wasn’t 利用できる on the NHS, so I had it 成し遂げるd while I was awake. I was in a lot of 苦痛, but it was 価値（がある） it.
My 顧問 discovered that the first two 試みる／企てるs at IVF had no chance of ever working. I was born with a 部分的な／不平等な septum (dead tissue) of the uterus ? I wasn’t 肉体的に able to carry a baby to 称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語.
Once the septum had been 除去するd, I 適用するd, at 41, for an 利益／興味-解放する／自由な credit card to 支払う／賃金 for IVF and was able to begin my third cycle.
To our utter joy William arrived in May 2011 ? he really is a 奇蹟. Nonetheless, I believe that
the NHS let me 負かす／撃墜する. If they’d discovered the problem with my uterus I might already have had another child, and 避けるd unnecessary 強調する／ストレス to myself and expense to the NHS.
gyne-health.co.uk
‘I 可決する・採択するd and finally felt 完全にする’
Kay Russell, 43, NHS 行政官／管理者
Lives Oxford
Spent £30,000
Time taken seven years
Kay 可決する・採択するd Alex, now four, after six failed IVF cycles
I felt I had to 接触する Samantha after watching her on ITV’s This Morning talking about ‘fertility envy’. I now realise that all the gut-wrenching feelings I experienced 支援する in my 30s (and still do) are not uncommon. Samantha made me realise I was not alone.
I married my husband at 31 in 2001. I had never been career minded ? I’d always assumed I’d get married and have children. When we 設立する out that same year that my husband and I couldn’t have children 自然に ? there was a problem with my fallopian tubes ? a little part of me died.
We went straight into IVF the に引き続いて year. There wasn’t any NHS 基金ing 利用できる in our area, so we 増加するd our mortgage to 支払う／賃金 for our 治療.
'The 苦悩 of everything that went before had killed our marriage. It was a source of grievance to us that we’d spent all that money with nothing to show for it'
I had 18 eggs retrieved and eight fertilised. Two embryos were transferred ? but sadly, the 治療 didn’t work and I got my period two weeks later.
In 2003 I had one of my fallopian tubes 除去するd. We continued to borrow money for その上の 一連の会議、交渉／完成するs of IVF ? we had six in total.
On the sixth 試みる／企てる we went to a clinic in London. Everyone was so 肉親，親類d ? I felt really 楽観的な. Two embryos were put 支援する in. But when I did a pregnancy 実験（する） two weeks later, it was 消極的な.
We were both so disheartened. My husband 示唆するd we try again, but after five years
and £30,000 I just couldn’t go through it again.
We had always known that if IVF didn’t work, then we 手配中の，お尋ね者 to 可決する・採択する. I’ve never been so happy as I was when Alex arrived ? for the first time in my life I felt 完全にする.
Unfortunately, the 苦悩 of everything that went before had killed our marriage. It was a source of grievance to us that we’d spent all that money with nothing to show for it. We’re separated now but still get on really 井戸／弁護士席 together.
I still occasionally get ‘負かす／撃墜する’ days about not having had my own child, but it helps knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way, and Alex has made everything worthwhile.
