LIZ JONES’S DIARY: The dreaded Devon wedding, part 1

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I 設立する myself in a group with a mildly famous man. I could tell he fancied me by the way he kept 星／主役にするing

I decided not to 招待する David to my friend’s wedding, partly because he was away at a party in フラン with his Brixton buddies (these people are all very 左翼, yet seem to have lots of spare time and second homes), but also because I couldn’t afford to have yet another expensive 小型の-break 廃虚d (he spoilt the last one by getting drunk and 侮辱ing me).

He texted to say he was leaving for フラン.

‘Enjoy sleeping with Julie!’

‘I’d rather not go than this be a problem!’ he replied of me finding out his ex will be there. ‘There will be 60-加える people. My room is like a cupboard with a 選び出す／独身 bed. I will not be having sex with anyone but you. x’

I told him I was teasing. I didn’t について言及する the wedding, as doubtless he would start 尋問 me about who I was taking instead. But I’m やめる glad to be going on my own. Men always sp oil things. The moment they are shown into a pristine hotel room, they sully it with 重要なs and change and 領収書s and bald socks. I hate having to 株 a bathroom. Marie Helvin once told me that whenever she travelled with David Bailey, she would always 調書をとる／予約する two 控訴s. I would go その上の, and say it’s wise to 調書をとる／予約する separate hotels.?

As I drove south, I started to 元気づける up, にもかかわらず just having had a really bad week. I was turn ed 負かす／撃墜する for a new flat because the landlord would only 許す one dog. Next, I learned the 出版（物） date of my novel has been put 支援する to May. I sent a cross email to the publishers, 説 it’s taken five years of my life already and that, having worked in (n)艦隊／(a)素早い Street for 35 years, I’m used to 速度(を上げる） and 直す／買収する，八百長をするd 最終期限s, and am easily bored. Because of the 32-degree 天候, even up here in the North where I live, I ordered a Waitrose 配達／演説／出産 as I couldn’t leave the dogs in the car while I went inside a shop. In the few seconds that I was 荷を降ろすing groceries at the door, Gracie shredded a brand new dog bed.

When I finally got to the coast, I checked into my little hotel and made my way to the beach, where there were drinks on the terrace of the Saunton Sands Hotel, which of course now 必然的に has a 調印する 説 ‘Source Spa and Wellness’. I wonder what my maternal grandfather, doorman here in the 1930s, would think. In the 広大な／多数の／重要な War, he went to フラン with a horse, and returned with that horse. His worst story was when an officer 軍隊d him to go on all fours in the mud, and used his 支援する as a 支え（る） for his gun.

I imagine he’d think the modern 追求（する），探索（する） for finding ourselves too self-indulgent for words. As the evening grew darker, I 設立する myself in a little group. The bride ? whom I’d met when I was an editor, she a PR ? was on one 味方する of me, along with her teenage son, who uttered not one word, and a mildly famous man. 離婚d. Children.

I could tell that he fancied me by the way he kept 星／主役にするing. Either that or one of my 審理，公聴会 援助（する）s was whistling. Oddly, the bride seemed uncomfortable. ‘Where’s the boyfriend?’ she asked me. ‘You know we got some gluten-解放する／自由な bread in 特に.’

‘He’s in フラン, 事前の 約束／交戦,’ I said. I could have whispered, ‘Don’t worry, I don’t fancy this one, far too short, while I’m 6ft in my heels, which you told me not to wear.’

‘I’ve had a facial before the big day,’ she said, apropos of nothing.

‘I could never do what you did.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Have a facelift.’

The man nearly choked on his beer, while her 十代の少年少女 momentarily ちらりと見ることd up from his phone.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘It’s not a secret. Just one of my four million Google 入ること／参加（者）s.’

‘Which hotel are you in?’

離婚d Man asked me. ‘This one?’

‘No! 十分な up. One 負かす／撃墜する the coast. It’s 承認する. At least I won’t hear the disco tomorrow night, and it doesn’t have a 調印する 説 Wellness.’

The bride interrupted. ‘Who are you wearing tomorrow?’ she said.

For us designer divas, it’s never what, always who.

‘Him,’ I said, taking my leave, giving a little wink.

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