決意／決議s that celebs SHOULD have made for New Year, by the Mail's brilliant sketch writer QUENTIN LETTS

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Another year ぼんやり現れるs and it is time for good 意向s. What will you do to 改善する yourself in 2015? And how about our celebrities and 政治家，政治屋s? What should be their New Year 決意／決議s? QUENTIN LETTS 提案するs a few . . .

Alan Carr Would a period of silence from the self-styled ‘Chatty Man’ not be universally welcomed across the kingdom? Go on, Alan, give the Trappist way of life a go. You know you can do it.

Ant and Dec Time for a change of hairdo, chaps?

Sir Peter Bazalgette The society-schmoozing, impressionable Arts 会議 長，指導者, who loves to lecture arts organisations about 多様制, should stop giving so much public money to the ludicrous, chi-chi Serpentine Gallery in London.

American 外交官／大使 Matthew Barzun To cough up for all those congestion 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 罰金s his London 大使館’s e mployees have incurred. At last count the 法案 was about £8 million. This 拒絶 to がまんする by the 法律s of the land is downright undiplomatic, Your Excellency.

Russell Brand To take a trip to the remote island of St Helena. And stay there.

Quentin Letts says Russell Brand, pictured left, should take a trip to a remote island and Jeremy Clarkson, pictured 権利, ?should run for London m ayoralty

Michael Buerk The high-brow 無線で通信する 4 presenter who took part in I’m A Celebrity will please solemnly 約束 us he will never EVER again show us his 明らかにする torso!

商売／仕事 長官 Vince Cable Will 2015 be the year we finally perhaps see a smile from the Lib Dems’ incorrigible gloomster? Perhaps his mordant Left-wing chops will 割れ目 into a grin only if 労働 勝利，勝つ the 総選挙.

Samantha Cameron To be decent enough, just occasionally, to look a little bit 強調する／ストレスd/unglamorous/run off her feet. Her 明らかに effortless perfection makes the 残り／休憩（する） of us feel so hopeless.

Peter Capaldi (Dr Who actor) To take the Tardis in for a service. That noise it makes when it moves off? Any mechanic would tell you it won’t make it as far as the end of the street, let alone outer space, mate.

Bank of England 知事 示す Carney To stop 存在 such an image-conscious nitwit and let his staff have their 年次の cricket match, which he cancelled because he thought cricket was too stuffy. Oh, and the nation’s savers wouldn’t half be 感謝する if he let 利益／興味s 率s rise a point or two.

Jeremy Clarkson To run for the London mayoralty. It would no 疑問 end in 災害 ― and he would not be able to count on the expat Argentine 投票（する） ― but by golly it would be entertaining. He’d make the 出発／死ing Boris Johnson look a 中心存在 of rectitude.

Miriam Clegg Not to 元気づける too loudly if her 副 首相 husband Nick loses his Yorkshire seat in the 総選挙. Just think: Spanish castanet-clacker Miriam would never have to go to Sheffield again. Fantastico!

Hillary Clinton To stop believing 法案.

Yvette Cooper To take the scissors to her 影をつくる／尾行する （ドイツなどの）首相／（大学の）学長 husband Ed’s credit card ― because, as no one seems to have told him, you cannot spend money you do not 所有する.

Simon Cowell A month or two without second helpings might be a good idea, looking at his waistline in the 最近の X-Factor episodes. Has new dad Simon been at little Eric’s rusks?

Edwina Currie To stop giving all those ジャングル creepy-crawlies the fright of their lives.

Quentin Letts says Simon Cowell, left, should go a month of two without second helpings and his fellow X Factor 裁判官, Cheryl Fernandez Versini, pictured 権利, should stop getting so tetchy when people struggle to master her new surname

Tamara Ecclestone To let go of Daddy (or, to be more 正確な, his wallet).

Solicitor Phil Shiner To say sorry to the 兵士s whose lives were made a 悲惨 by the long-running Al Sweady 調査 into 申し立てられた／疑わしい 囚人 乱用 in Iraq. Personal 傷害 lawyer Shiner （人命などを）奪う，主張するd that his （弁護士の）依頼人s had been 拷問d and made a lot of noise. In December those （人命などを）奪う，主張するs were 設立する to be 誤った and Defence 長官 Michael Fallon 問題／発行するd a thunderous denunciation of Shiner. While we’re about it, a 類似の 陳謝 from the 法律 Society Gazette might be in order. In June it ran an article 賞賛するing Shiner and said ‘we need more lawyers like Phil Shiner’. より小数の, surely.< /p>

Benedict Cumberbatch Never again to 許す himself to be used by the anti-圧力（をかける） freedom group 切り開く／タクシー／不正アクセスd Off, which got 200 rich busybodies to 調印する a letter attacking newspapers. Word of advice, Ben: anything 調印するd by John Cleese, Danny Boyle, Polly Toynbee and John Pilger is 価値（がある） 避けるing.

Stephen Fry His many fans like him because he is clever. So in 2015 he should perhaps stop Tweeting, give up TV gameshows and produce a really high-class, clever piece of work ― a 調書をとる／予約する or play or film ― which 固く結び付けるs him as a public 知識人 rather than as a ubiquitous 芸能人.

Lady Gaga To 征服する／打ち勝つ that 行う／開催する／段階 fright.

Cheryl Hispano-Suiza-Versini (以前 Cole) To stop getting やめる so tetchy, pet, when people struggle to master your posh new surname. We have got it 権利 here, 港／避難所’t we? Oh no!

Quentin Letts says Justin Welby should stop fretting about food banks and 示唆するs Stephen Fry, 権利, ?should produce a high-class, clever piece of work

ありふれたs 副 （衆議院の）議長 Lindsay Hoyle To 発表する his 意向 to stand against John Bercow for the Speakership when 議会 会合，会うs for the first time after the 総選挙.

Sir Gerald Kaufman To retire from 議会. The old poisonous-spider 決まりきった仕事 has worn thin, Gerry dear.

Barack Obama’s daughters Sasha and Malia To ignore the low-grade internet trolls and their father’s political 対抗者s who keep criticising them. You look 広大な／多数の／重要な as you are, girls, and you’re a credit to your parents.

Sean O’Connor, new editor of The Archers To STOP trying to sex-up 無線で通信する 4’s long-running soap オペラ about 田舎の life. Stories should be driven 主として by character, not by topical events.

Grayson Perry Lower hemlines in 2015?

Alex Salmond To 収容する／認める he lost the Scottish independence 国民投票.

Kristin Scott Thomas To stop taking 事実上の／代理 parts for which, at 54, she is unfortunately too old.

Keith Vaz To realise that not everyone is やめる as in love with him as he is with himself.

Justin Welby, 大司教 of Canterbury To stop fretting about food banks and start worrying much more about the neglect of the old-fashioned hymns and 祈りs which once 部隊d England as a Christian country.

無線で通信する 4 監査役 Gwyneth Williams To 再提出する the 早期に morning UK 主題 tune which was dropped by her 前任者. It was a lovely way to start the day and it was good for British まとまり.

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