Xi's inky hairdo, all the panache of Max Bygraves: QUENTIN LETTS sees the （衆議院の）議長 try to upstage 中国's leader

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All the Queen’s greasers and all the Queen’s men turned out to hear 大統領 Xi of 中国 make a speech ? and to admire his inky hairdo, worn with Max Bygraves panache.

An 演説（する）／住所 to both Houses of 議会 in Westminster’s ornate 王室の Gallery was a 示す of 公式の／役人 esteem, or at least a 願望（する） to please.

Flunkeys ぱたぱたするd around in white tie and tails, 兵士s had been 注ぐd into 儀式の armour and a ファンファーレ／誇示 of trumpets 布告するd His Excellency’s imminence.

Lost in translation? （衆議院の）議長 John Bercow, headphones in 手渡す, during 大統領 of 中国 Xi Jinping's speech

Jeremy Corbyn (支援する in his scruffy brown jacket) slouched next to David Cameron in the 前線 列／漕ぐ／騒動. Lib Dem leader Tim Farron was parked three 列／漕ぐ／騒動s 支援する. 環境 長官 Liz Truss sashayed in and I 断言する the trumpeters were tempted to （問題を）取り上げる saxo phones.

Was that Jacob Rees-Mogg with stubble on his chin, or just four o’clock 影をつくる／尾行する? Lord Mandelson entered with his friend Lord Browne of BP ? a touching tableau.

Behold スキャンダル-flecked dogers such as Lord Ahmed and Lord Taylor of Blackburn, the oily いつか Tory defector Lord (Quentin) Davies.

And look, Lord Prescott! Lucky us. His lordship’s 利益／興味 in Chinese culture is such that he has memorised the menu at Mr Chu’s chop suey house, 船体.

A Chinese woman 持つ／拘留するing two little 旗s ? one a Union Jack, the other red ? was stopped by the 勧めるs and told: ‘黒人／ボイコット 棒 doesn’t want any 旗-waving.’ The woman turned out to be Lady Bates, wife of a Tory life peer. ‘Terribly sorry, milady,’ said the 勧める.

大統領 Xi entered …を伴ってd by both the （衆議院の）議長 of the Lords Lady D’Souza, rather ginny-発言する／表明するd, and our own pepperpot 独裁者-cum-footstamper, ありふれたs （衆議院の）議長 Bercow.

Speech: 中国's 大統領, Xi Jinping 演説（する）／住所s MPs and peers in 議会's 王室の Gallery on Tuesday

中国's First Lady Peng Liyuan (権利) listens as her husband 演説（する）／住所 MPs and peers in 議会's 王室の Gallery as part of their visit today

They could have been two tugboats 護衛するing an ocean liner to the quayside at Southampton.

Mr Xi would in 予定 course make a speech 配達するd with such metronomic dullness that one felt fraternal sympathy for the 議会の sketchwriters of Beijing, if such chaps 存在する. Perhaps they don’t.

First we all had to 耐える an oration by Bercow. As ever, the Squeaker was under the impression that the grandiose event had been organised 主として for his own delectation.

In the ありふれたs earlier, during Foreign Office questions, Mr Bercow had telegraphed 不賛成 of the Chinese 政府. There had been talk of both Mr Xi and of the 首相 of India. Bercow 介入するd on the 審議 ? as he ought not ? to 申し込む／申し出 an opinion.

‘Of course,’ he said, ‘the Indian 首相 is the 代表者／国会議員 of a 広大な／多数の／重要な DEMOCRACY.’

The last word was 攻撃する，衝突する with such 強調, it left no 疑問 that he was taking a swipe at いっそう少なく democratic 中国.

Foreign Office 大臣 Hugo Swire looked 困らすd by this gratuitous rudery. Mr Bercow was so delighted with his repartee that he spent the next minute laughing.

That, as I say, happened earlier. Now, in the 王室の Gallery, Mr Bercow had a chance to be rude to Mr Xi’s 直面する. He did not やめる do that but he did dare to give 中国’s 支配者 a lecture about how his country should be not only a 軍隊 in the world but also ‘a moral inspiration’. Mr Xi’s 直面する did not move.

演説（する）／住所ing the house before 招待するing 大統領 Xi Jinping to speak, Mr Bercow pointedly 述べるd Burma's Ms Suu Kyi, who recently 演説（する）／住所d both Houses of 議会, as the '支持する／優勝者 of 僕主主義'

By sly dint of omission and juxtaposition, Mr Bercow also compared Mr Xi unfavourably to Burma’s プロの／賛成の-僕主主義 選挙運動者, Aung San Suu Kyi. The （衆議院の）議長 pronounced her 十分な 指名する with all the zeal of Angela Rippon 説 ‘Zimbabwe’ in the 早期に 1980s.

He also went way over the 最高の，を越す when pronouncing the 指名する of Mr Xi’s wife, Madame Peng ? a folk singer with the People’s 解放 Army, and, from what one can make out, modern 中国’s answer to Dame Vera Lynn. In his own speech, Mr Xi exacted 復讐. Perhaps Mr Swire had 警告するd him about Bercow.

He argued that 中国 had been 利益／興味d in people’s 権利s for, oooh, 4,000 years (i.e. 支援する when 古代の Brits were running about in mammoth 肌s). Not that Bercow was listening. He had not deigned to use a pair of headphones 申し込む／申し出ing 同時の translation.

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