ALEXANDRA SHULMAN: I cordially 招待する you to...never, ever let me 負かす／撃墜する: How the art of the 招待 brings out 'my inner headmistress'

By Alexandra Shulman, Mail on Sunday

Published: | Updated:

招待s bring out my inner headmistress. And yes, that’s 招待s, not the annoying abbreviation ‘招待する’ ? a verb not a noun, don’t you know?

It seemed unduly churlish of Jeremy Corbyn and Sadiq 旅宿泊所 to 辞退する to …に出席する last week’s 明言する／公表する dinner for Donald Trump but at least they let their host know 井戸／弁護士席 in 前進する, rather than 存在 last-minute flakers.

Those types were the 禁止（する） of my life when I used to 定期的に organise large dinners and parties for Vogue.?

There?s a kind of can-I-get-back-to-you-nearer-the-date mentality that almost makes one feel guilty about having asked for something as pedestrian as a yes or no in the first place [File photo]

There’s a 肉親，親類d of can-I-get-支援する-to-you-nearer-the-date mentality that almost makes one feel 有罪の about having asked for something as 歩行者 as a yes or no in the first place [とじ込み／提出する photo]

I remember the morning of the magazine’s centenary 祝祭 getting a message from Anna Friel’s スパイ／執行官 説 she wasn’t coming ? she had to go to Borneo. Who has to go 突然に to Borneo?

In my 調書をとる／予約する there are two 支配するs about 招待s. Number one is that you reply to them in the first place.?

It’s 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の how many people don’t bother to answer until chivvied, even now in the days of Paperless 地位，任命する when all you need to do is click a button.?

In my book there are two rules about invitations. Number one is that you reply to them in the first place [File photo]

In my 調書をとる／予約する there are two 支配するs about 招待s. Number one is that you reply to them in the first place [とじ込み／提出する photo]

And number two is that, once 受託するd, you pitch up, unless you have a serious プロの／賛成の blem.

At the dinner について言及するd above, another on-the-day 減少（する）-out was Stella McCartney. When I heard she wasn’t coming, I called her and ranted about how she was letting me 負かす／撃墜する, only to learn that it was because of the 夜通し death of a の近くに 親族. I’ve felt terrible about it ever since.

Nowadays the number of people who like to hedge their bets, 持つ／拘留するing out for the better 選択, is definitely on the 増加する.?

There’s a 肉親，親類d of can-I-get-支援する-to-you-nearer-the-date mentality that almost makes one feel 有罪の about having asked for something as 歩行者 as a yes or no in the first place.

同時に, dropping out has been made much easier now that we don’t have to 現実に speak to the host and can just tap out a quick text with a lame excuse.?

It’s become ありふれた practice for people who, having agreed to a dinner 計画（する） enthusiastically in the first place, get in touch on the day to say they’re really sorry, but something 避けられない has cropped up.

I’d rather they 簡単に said they had to wash their hair.

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Her Majesty’s a 攻撃する，衝突する with quickfire wit

One of the few 儀式の 扱う／治療するs left out of the Trump visit was a trip in the splendid horse-drawn carriage, something Trump was said to be rather keen on.?

During planning discussions for his previous 大統領の visit to the UK, I gather that one 閣僚 member put this 可能性 to the Queen.?

She 拒絶するd it. Why is that, they enquired? ‘狙撃者s,’ she replied, pausing for just a （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 before 追加するing, ‘but then you might not regard that as a problem.’

The Queen and Donald Trump are pictured together for the D-Day commemorations.?One of the few cere monial treats left out of the Trump visit was a trip in the splendid horse-drawn carriage, something Trump was said to be rather keen on

The Queen and Donald Trump are pictured together for the D-Day 記念s.?One of the few 儀式の 扱う／治療するs left out of the Trump visit was a trip in the splendid horse-drawn carriage, something Trump was said to be rather keen on

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Where are all the jewels, Melania?

We’ve all been hugely entertained by scrutinising the Trump family wardrobes. But where are Melania’s jewels??

A friend 解任するs 会合 Ivana, a former Mrs Trump, at 損なう-a-Lago 支援する in the old days, dripping with the real thing ? fabulous earrings and a beautiful antique diamond, emerald and jade brooch pinned to her Dior, pink satin ball dress.?

She said the Don had given her them. Surely, if he had done 類似して for Melania, a 明言する／公表する dinner at the Palace would be the place to wear them??

Or was he too stingy to splash out on some serious 激しく揺するs, worried that, like Ivana, she’d get to keep them when they 分裂（する）?

We?ve all been hugely entertained by scrutinising the Trump family wardrobes. But where are Melania?s jewels? President Trump and Melania are pictured on the White House South Lawn on Friday

We’ve all been hugely entertained by scrutinising the Trump family wardrobes. But where are Melania’s jewels? 大統領 Trump and Melania are pictured on the White House South Lawn on Friday

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Forget frills ? here comes 力／強力にする collars

The Duchess of Cambridge turned up for a visit to Bletchley Park wearing an Alessandra Rich dress with a prim white collar

The Duchess of Cambridge turned up for a visit to Bletchley Park wearing an Alessandra Rich dress with a prim white collar?

It’s turning out to be the summer of the 力／強力にする collar.?

The Duchess of Cambridge turned up for a visit to Bletchley Park wearing an Alessandra Rich dress with a prim white collar, and Melania Trump did 類似して when she arrived for tea at Buckingham Palace.

Forget scoop necks and 深い 急落（する），激減（する）s, a sharp, 商売／仕事-like collar says I am a woman of 実体.?

Whether it’s pussy 屈服する 関係, or Victorian-style frills, buttoned up is the new chic. Fashion has taken a puritanical turn. I’m 非難するing it on Brexit, like everything else.

Love Island boat has sailed without me

They 明確に didn’t get the collar 覚え書き on Love Island.?

Or not as far as I can tell from pictures of the contestants ? because I have never watched the show.?

My 無視する，冷たく断わる wasn’t 審議する／熟考する, but since I’ve already 行方不明になるd the first four series, and am 戦う／戦いing something of a boxset habit, something has got to be sacrificed.

Not watching it gives me the same smug satisfaction I imagine giving up something for Lent 達成するs, although I 港／避難所’t ever done that either.?

I’m sure if I started to watch I’d be as 麻薬中毒の as everyone else on the shenanigans of that buff, brazen, bikini-覆う？ group, but I’m 持つ／拘留するing 支援する and saving myself for season two of 殺人，大当り Eve.

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Our Tudor queen will 統治する next year

Cong ratulations to Tayari Jones, 勝利者 of the Women’s Prize for Fiction with her novel An American Marriage. Whoever won this year dodged a 弾丸. Next year, the 競争相手s will be up against the third 容積／容量 of Hilary Mantel’s Tudor saga, The Mirror And The Light, which is 存在 published in the autumn.

The year I was a 裁判官, Wolf Hall was on the shortlist. The juggernaut had already won every prize going and so we decided to give another author their moment of glory, although our 陪審／陪審員団 was 分裂（する）. Mantel’s new 調書をとる／予約する is likely to 配達する a ノックアウト blow to any 競争相手s.

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Laughing gas 疫病／悩ます just isn’t funny

一連の会議、交渉／完成する our parts ’tis the season of climbing roses, lavender and nitrous 酸化物 ? or laughing gas ? canisters.

After any balmy evening, the pavement outside our door is littered with the discarded shiny metal canisters.?

Glinting in the morning sun, they’re irresistible to toddlers en 大勝する to the park opposite, who are forever bending 負かす／撃墜する to 選ぶ up what looks like the enchanting 残余s of a fairies’ picnic. Not their mothers’ favourite toys.

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Now Salah’s bigger than Tutankhamun

Liverpool’s Mo Salah is 存在 credited with 鈍らせるing Islamaphobia on Merseyside. And he’s certainly working wonders for Anglo-Egyptian relations.?

When I went shopping in the Aswan souk earlier in the year, all the stallholders would ask where we （機の）カム from.?

On answering England, they, to a man, beamed with rapture at our supposed 和合, crying out the words Mo Salah. Not even Tutankhamun could have been as 深い尊敬の念を抱くd.

Liverpool's Mohamed Salah has been targeted

Liverpool’s Mo Salah is 存在 credited with 鈍らせるing Islamaphobia on Merseyside. And he’s certainly working wonders for Anglo-Egyptian relations?