Inside the dream life of swimmer Shayna Jack, 20, before it was 粉々にするd by a failed 麻薬 実験（する） - as she 公約するs to （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 the 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 and 非難するs '汚染するd' 補足（する）s

On the 12th of July, I was called to the Swimming Australia 長，率いる coach's room; I had just been out shopping with my チーム仲間. Unaware of what I was walking into, I was happy and bubbly as always.?

That all changed when I walked through the door to be told ASADA had called. My brain 即時に went into frantic thoughts, something was wrong, I had never 行方不明になるd a 実験（する）, it wasn't my time slot, so why would they want me??

I sat 負かす／撃墜する, waiting for ASADA to answer my call and then a woman's 発言する／表明する said those haunting words for any 競技者: 'we have 実験（する）d your 見本 and it has come 支援する 肯定的な to a 禁じるd 実体'.?

I felt my heart break instantaneously. I couldn't breathe to answer her next couple of questions. There was nothing I could do at that moment, nothing the people around me could do to help me.

I was in 完全にする shock, asking myself how and why is this happening to me. My brain repeated over and over: 'I have always check ed my 実体s', 'I didn't do this', 'why is this happening to me?', 'I've done nothing wrong'.?

I could still hear the woman in the background on the phone, talking more about what will go on and that I have to leave the （軍の）野営地，陣営 and return home, as I was placed on 即座の 一時的に 中断 until the 'B 見本' is 実験（する）d.?

She also went on to explain what was 設立する in my system, I had never heard of it before, let alone know how to pronounce it; she said it was 'Ligandrol'. I now know that this can be 設立する in 汚染するd 補足（する）s.?

After many hours of crying and feeling so helpless, I managed to pack my 捕らえる、獲得するs and went for an 8km walk with my coach, Dean Boxall, while the team was 知らせるd of my 出発, without any 指示，表示する物 of what for. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to open up to them and discuss with them what had happened.?

I felt so 攻撃を受けやすい. But I knew that they had to 焦点（を合わせる） on themselves and continue to 代表する Australia without me on the team. I 尊敬（する）・点 my チーム仲間s and my sport too much to take away their moment, so I returned home and said nothing.?

Upon returning home, I felt more heartache than I have ever felt in my 20 years of living. Seeing m y parents, brothers, boyfriend and grandma made me break 負かす／撃墜する into a million pieces as this was so hard for me to 対処する with.?

I didn't 故意に take this 実体; I didn't even know it was in my system. It just didn't make any sense, and still doesn't to this day. On Friday the 19th of July my 'B 見本' results were in.?

I had felt a sense of hope knowing I didn't take this 実体 and that it was all a mistake during the 実験（する）ing and that I could return to compete for my country and with the team, however, that wasn't the 事例／患者.?

As I read the results, my brain couldn't even comprehend what I was seeing. I had to reread it several times before I felt that same 苦痛 and heartache all over again. I 即時に turned to my grandma, who was with me at the time and wailed. With my 脚s no longer 持つ／拘留するing me up, I fell to the ground.?

I 港／避難所't slept much since, and I feel a sense of emptiness. I think of what I have worked so hard for all 存在 taken away from me, and I had done nothing wrong.?

Ever since I was 10?years old, I have 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be on the Australian swim team, to 代表する my country. I never swam for the メダルs; they were always an 追加するd 特別手当. I swam for the feeling you get when you stand behind the 封鎖するs in a gold cap.?

The feeling you get when you race in a?relay with a group of amazing women and feel a sense of 目的 and success. I pride myself on 存在 the woman that young girls look up to and want to be like, not for the メダルs I 勝利，勝つ, but for the way I 現在の myself day in, day out around the pool and in everyday life.?