How dreary! HENRY DEEDES watches party pooper PM and his Captain ÍÑ¿´¿¼¤¤ Ää»ß¡Ê¤µ¤»¤ë¡Ë lockdown ´ËÏÂ
The ÁíÍýÂç¿Ã raised a chubby paw aloft like an overzealous lollipop lady and ȯɽ¤¹¤ëd in that peculiarly elastic ȯ¸À¤¹¤ë¡¿É½ÌÀ¤¹¤ë he was calling things to a Ää»ß¡Ê¤µ¤»¤ë¡Ë.
His ´ËÏ of lockdown, which he¡Çd moved along at a lickety-ʬÎö¡Ê¤¹¤ë¡Ë pace these past few weeks, was ¸ºß stopped dead in its Àפò¤Ä¤±¤ës.
¡ÆWe should squeeze that ¥Ö¥ì¡¼¥ pedal,¡Ç he ȯɽ¤¹¤ëd.
His spoke in long, decompressed ¥È¥ós, the way a (v)ºö¤òÏ®¤¹¤ë¡¿(n)µ³¼ê might soothe a wayward horse or an adult try to get a giddy toddler to ÎäÀŤʡ¿ÀµÌ£¤Î it.
So, »Ù±ç¤¹¤ë we were again in the É餫¤¹¡¿·âÄƤ¹¤ëing Street Í×ÅÀÀâÌÀ room, that dreary oak-panelled space which for some ¿äÏÀ¤¹¤ë¡¿Íýͳ always reminds me of the boring cocktail parties I used to cover as a young reporter.
The ÁíÍýÂç¿Ã raised a chubby paw aloft like an overzealous lollipop lady and ȯɽ¤¹¤ëd in that peculiarly elastic ȯ¸À¤¹¤ë¡¿É½ÌÀ¤¹¤ë he was calling things to a Ää»ß¡Ê¤µ¤»¤ë¡Ë
I¡Çd rather hoped we were done with these coronavirus Í×ÅÀÀâÌÀs. But with ´¶À÷s spiking »Ù±ç¤¹¤ë to over 4,000 a day it was time for another a Prime Âç¿Ã¤Î pep talk. That dreaded ¡Æsecond wave¡Ç we so ¶²¤ì¤ëd is rapping its knuckles at the door.
·×²è¡Ê¤¹¤ë¡Ës to open a final raft of ¾¦Çä¡¿»Å»ös today are now ±ä´ü¤¹¤ëd.
That means ice rinks, bowling alleys and casinos remain shut for another two weeks. No ¹Âç¤Ê¡¿Â¿¿ô¤Î¡¿½ÅÍ×¤Ê dent in my own social life, I ¼ýÍƤ¹¤ë¡¿Ç§¤á¤ë, but what a ÃÄÂΡ¿»àÂÎ blow for all those poor ¾¦Çä¡¿»Å»ö owners.
Dreadful news too for those hoping to »ý¤Ä¡¿¹´Î±¤¹¤ë wedding parties. They remain on the ¹õ¿Í¡¿¥Ü¥¤¥³¥Ã¥È ̾Êí¡Ê¤ËºÜ¤»¤ë¡Ë¡¿É½¡Ê¤Ë¤¢¤²¤ë¡Ë. There will be no big Eid ½Ë²ìs for Britain¡Çs ¥¤¥¹¥é¥à¶µÅÌs, either.
¡Ä¤òȼ¤Ã¤Æing Boris was Chris Whitty, England¡Çs Ĺ¡¤»ØƳ¼Ô °åÎŤΠOfficer, the one who looks like an even more gormless ¸«²ò¡¿ËÝÌõ¡¿ÈÇ of Chris Grayling
¡ÆI¡Çm really, really sorry about that,¡Ç said Boris. ¡ÆBut we ´Êñ¤Ë can¡Çt take the ´í¸±.¡Ç
There was a bashfulness about him as he uttered these ȯ¸À¡¿½Ò¤Ù¤ës, his ÃíÌܤ¹¤ë¡¤¤â¤¯¤í¤às suddenly finding something Íø±×¡¿¶½Ì£ing to À±¡¿¼çÌò¤Ë¤¹¤ë at on the ¾²¤ËÂǤÁÅݤ¹.
No PM likes to be a party pooper, least of all this one.
Sorrowful he might have been at times, but, goodness, how much better he looks, even from the last time he was here. Those ¤¤Ó¤¤Ó¤·¤¿ walks with Dilyn the dog appear to have done him a world of good.
No longer does his shirt collar appear to be asphyxiating him. His chalky ľÌ̤¹¤ë appears to have felt the sun¡Çs rays.
¡Ä¤òȼ¤Ã¤Æing Boris was Chris Whitty, England¡Çs Ĺ¡¤»ØƳ¼Ô °åÎŤΠOfficer, the one who looks like an even more gormless ¸«²ò¡¿ËÝÌõ¡¿ÈÇ of Chris Grayling. We ¹Á¡¿ÈòÆñ½ê¡Çt seen old Whitty for a while. Last time he looked fed up, desperate to return to his ¸¦µæ¼¼¡¿¼Â¸³¼¼ and twiddle with his microscopes.
There will be no big Eid ½Ë²ìs for Britain¡Çs ¥¤¥¹¥é¥à¶µÅÌs. Pictured:?Worshippers ´Ñ»¡¤¹¤ë social distancing as they arrive at the Bradford Grand ¥¤¥¹¥é¥à¶µ»û±¡ in Bradford, West Yorkshire
Yesterday, though, there was rather strident ¶õµ¤¡¿¸øɽ¤¹¤ë about him ¸¢Íø from the get go as he ¡Êµ¡¤Î¡Ë¥«¥à bounding in ahead of the PM. It was almost as if there was a faint touch of the ¡ÆI told you sos¡Ç about him. Whitty, in »öÎã¡¿´µ¼Ô you ¹ÔÊýÉÔÌÀ¤Ë¤Ê¤ëd it, has been Captain ÍÑ¿´¿¼¤¤ about ´ËÏ the lockdown.
I¡Çm no ÃÄÂΡ¿»àÂÎ linguist, but there seemed a palpable froideur between the pair.
Boris certainly wouldn¡Çt have been thrilled when Whitty told reporters we have ¡Æprobably reached the ¸Â³¦ of what we can do¡Ç ¡¼¤Ë´Ø¤·¤Æ¡¿¡¼¤ÎÅÀ¤Çs of ´ËÏ the lockdown. What this could mean for schools ºÆ³«¤¹¤ëing after the summer, I dread to think.
Two other Ãø̾¤Ê moments from the (mercifully) ´Ê·é¤Ê¡¿Í×Ìó¤¹¤ë ³«²ñ¡¿³«Äî¡¿²ñ´ü.
Firstly, Boris has new catchphrase. ¡Æ¼êÅϤ¹s, ľÌ̤¹¤ë, space,¡Ç he kept repeating, a ¸ÀµÚ¡¿´ØÏ¢ to people washing their ¼êÅϤ¹s, wearing a mask and keeping their social distance to stop the ¥¦¥¤¥ë¥¹ from spreading.
Dreadful news too for those hoping to »ý¤Ä¡¿¹´Î±¤¹¤ë wedding parties. They remain on the ¹õ¿Í¡¿¥Ü¥¤¥³¥Ã¥È ̾Êí¡Ê¤ËºÜ¤»¤ë¡Ë¡¿É½¡Ê¤Ë¤¢¤²¤ë¡Ë. Pictured:?David D'Arcy and his wife Hayley Collins at their socially distanced wedding in July
¡ÆPretty punchy, I think,¡Ç he said proudly. Secondly, we heard how he might have a ¡Æ´Ê·é¤Ê¡¿Í×Ì󤹤ë staycation¡Ç somewhere if possible when not working ¡Æflat out¡Ç to ÇÔËÌ¡¦É餫¤¹ the ¥¦¥¤¥ë¥¹. Let¡Çs hope he gets the chance.
With 1pm approaching, the PM was getting fidgety.
¡Æ¼êÅϤ¹s, ľÌ̤¹¤ë, space. Get a ¼Â¸³¡Ê¤¹¤ë¡Ë,¡Ç he repeated one last time.
¤«¤â¤·¤ì¤Ê¤¤ not realising the microphones were still on, he turned to Whitty and asked: ¡ÆI think I repeated that often enough, didn¡Çt I?¡Ç
Indeed he had ? though how he must long for the day when he no longer has to.
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