Why I 辞退する to buy ANY gifts this Christmas (...and doting grannies and aunties can't either!)

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My 計画（する） for this year's Christmas started on ボクシング Day last year. Surrounded by wrapping paper and abandoned gifts, I 示唆するd to my husband Chris that next time we shouldn't buy anything ― for each other or the children.

To say he was excited by this would be an understatement. He's never been 特に 利益／興味d in 現在のs from me (or for me). The best gift I ever got him was a pack of David Beckham/H&M underpants which had been lying on my desk when I left the office late one Christmas Eve. (抱擁する thanks to the H&M 圧力（をかける） office, and David, if you're reading, my husband would like you to bring this 範囲 支援する, please.)

For my birthday this year he got me a 巡査 pan. I hadn't realised I 手配中の，お尋ね者 or needed one but, 明らかに, he's saving my life by 避けるing Teflon and 'for ever 化学製品s'.

I tell you what is for ever: the porridge stuck to the 底（に届く） of my birthday gift.

Not buying anything for my husband is trivial because he can buy for himself. But not buying 現在のs for our two girls, 老年の six and three, is a trickier proposition.

Dinah 先頭 Tullken is pictured with her husband Dr Chris 先頭 Tulleken and their children

Chris took a while to get his 長，率いる around the idea that we're not buying them anything either.

'Ah! So you mean Father Christmas will bring it all for them?' he said with a wink.

'No, Chris. The big guy with the white 耐えるd does not 存在する. That would still be us buying for them, and as I explained, we are not buying them anything.'

He looked panicked and I was 軍隊d, once again, to listen to the story of the greatest (and かもしれない only) 外傷／ショック of his childhood.

It was 1987 and he was 納得させるd that the largest 現在の under the tree was a plastic model of He-Man's 要塞, 城 Grayskull. It turned out to be a 見解／翻訳／版 of 城 Grayskull, but one that had been lovingly made by his dad. However charming that sounds to us now, for nine-year-old Chris, Christmas was 廃虚d.

I 根気よく let him finish and explained I understood all that, but we still weren't going to be buying any 現在のs and here's why. We have, at a 保守的な 見積（る）, the 同等（の） of two entire bathtubs 十分な of plastic pieces: Lego, Playmobil, Sylvanian Families, model animals, model dinosaurs ― the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） goes on.

We have another two bathtubs 十分な of soft toys, にもかかわらず the fact that each girl shows affection for only one. In Lyra's 事例／患者 a greying rabbit c alled Rabbit, and for Sasha a tatty monkey called, yes, Monkey.

These have been 蓄積するd as 現在のs, 手渡す-me-負かす／撃墜するs and rewards for doing what we need them to do when we need them to do it; finishing courses of 抗生物質s, 適用するing eczema cream, etc. And Chris is 特に 傾向がある to 有罪の airport 購入（する）s on the way home from work trips. Lego seems to have opened 蓄える／店s in nearly every airport to 融通する this 勧める.

We're ますます aware of the 全世界の 衝撃 of our 購入（する）s. Everything we buy the kids will go into landfill. Much of it already has.

I find it hard to stomach that the main 焦点（を合わせる） wherever you look at this time of year is to buy, buy, buy. Given the cost-of-living 危機, it feels obscene that there's such a 抱擁する 量 of 圧力 on everyone and that the stuff we buy feels more 使い捨てできる than ever.

Have a think about how much of what you got and gave last year is still in use. Like everyone else, we're busy and, therefore, 有罪の of those last-minute silly 購入（する）s. Chris 特に would get techy stuff. Such as a pair of walkie-talkies for the kids which were so 前進するd they couldn't use them, and anyway, within the week we'd lost the charger.

He got me a fitness tracker that I hadn't asked for, was わずかに 感情を害する／違反するd by and again had a special 非難する 装置 which when it failed couldn't be 取って代わるd without buying the whole thing again.

The previous year it was a fancy electric toothbrush which I didn't want. But I can't やめる 耐える to throw this stuff away, so it lives in the drawer of 装置s without chargers and chargers without 装置s.

関心s about 構成要素 超過 at Christmas are as old as the age of consumerism, but with the 惑星 on 解雇する／砲火／射撃 and plastics everywhere it seems like we are at a moment of reckoning and have been for some time.

Don't get me wrong, I lov e Christmas. I live in the house I grew up in and it warms my heart watching my children run downstairs on Christmas morning, my father's Phil Spector LP playing on his old 記録，記録的な／記録する player. They're having the same wonderful Christmases I remember.

DINAH: He got me a fitness tracker that I hadn’t asked for, was わずかに 感情を害する／違反するd by and again had a special 非難する 装置 which when it failed couldn’t be 取って代わるd without buying the whole thing again

The girls are lucky to have three remaining grandparents, eight aunts and uncles and seven cousins, and most of us manage to get together on the big day somehow. So Christmas Day will feel Christmassy even though I've 軍隊d this 支配する on the family, telling my mother, in-法律s and the brothers and sisters not to buy the girls anything.

My sister was appalled and very cross that she will be thought of as the mean old aunt. Just because I want to （土地などの）細長い一片 the joy out of Christmas, why should she have to?

If 現在のs really brought the girls happiness for more than literally a few moments, I might be more 説得するd, but the adverts sell a different idea to the sad 製品s you find inside, which are quickly abandoned.

There is a hardcore of a few Sylvanian 人物／姿／数字s and Schleich animals which get 正規の／正選手 遠出s, but they （不足などを）補う around 1 per cent of the total.

The girls are happiest doing simple stuff: tormenting the cat, trashing the living room, building forts, 製図／抽選 on the furniture, collecting snails in the garden, annoying everyone else in the park and, to be 全く honest, watching TV. They do not need, or even want, more stuff.

And my gift 拒絶 is not one-味方するd. I don't want to give 現在のs to my family, but おもに I don't want to receive them.

Gifts are 複雑にするd; they come with 義務s and 期待s. For me, gifts come with 犯罪. I am 圧倒するd by the 容積／容量 of stuff coming into the house. And gift-giving is part of the cycle.

I すぐに feel 強いるd to go and buy the giver or their child something they may not need or want. This is not a popular opinion, but 現在の-buying can put 圧力 on other people to buy for you ― however generously you give a gift, it's hard not to 推定する／予想する something in return.

So, how are we planning to do this?

Last year Lyra (five at the time) begged for a violin. I looked at buying one, but something told me it might not be a wise 投資. Perhaps it was the fact her little sister 粉砕するs everything Lyra owns, or maybe it was because she was a 完全に normal five-year-old and doesn't show 利益／興味 in anything after the 初期の novelty has worn off.

We ended up renting one at a very reasonable price, and I can count on one 手渡す the number of times that 器具 has left its 事例／患者 in the last 12 months. In fact, I can count the times on one finger.

Returning the violin in immaculate 条件 for another child to ignore was the most 実証するing experience of my year and renting again this year will make sure that Christmas Day has some 魔法 under the tree without 犯罪 about landfill.

This year we're updating Lyra's bike 賃貸しの. She has had the same bike from bikeclub.com for a year and it is now so miniature she has started to look like she's 成し遂げるing a circus 行為／法令／行動する when she rides it. If we hadn't rented it, we'd now be trying to sell it on eBay ― or not やめる getting 一連の会議、交渉／完成する to selling it on eBay.

Now the bike gets returned and fully refurbished for another child and Lyra gets a bigger gift under the tree, albeit a second-手渡す 賃貸しの one.

Sasha will get a dolls house that's been up in the loft since Lyra outgrew it two years ago. We'll get that 負かす／撃墜する and 包む it up, and she'll be over the moon and will play with it enthusiastically for a 十分な ten minutes ― 正確に／まさに the same 量 of time as she would a new gift ― before she moves の上に 粉砕するing Christmas tree ornaments and 需要・要求するing another mince pie.

When it comes to the excitement of bulging stockings, I've had a long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 戦略. For the past six month s I've been 静かに 押収するing toys and teddies and any 手渡す-me-負かす／撃墜するs from cousins. These are long forgotten and will appear as if new on Christmas Day in stockings hung from the ends of their beds.

So the children will have gifts; they will believe Father Christmas has been. The brandy will have been drunk, the carrot nibbled and the mince pie 減ずるd to crumbs. But we will not have bought a 選び出す／独身 thing.

And that is the point. Not to buy stuff.

Chris's 現在の to me and the children will be いっそう少なく time on his phone, いっそう少なく work at 週末s. We will have more 遠出s to climbing 塀で囲むs, 野性生物 parks, etc. Things they'll remember and will learn from. Committing to these activities ― we have put dates in the diary so that it's not just empty 約束s ― has made us realise these are much harder gifts for us to give.

Both of us were buying plastic as a 交替／補充 for meaningful time 存在 現在の as parents.

Chris and I will do the same for each other. In the past year we have gone out together as a couple without the children as many times as Lyra played that violin.

In fact, we have already 調書をとる／予約するd the theatre and a babysitter for an evening in March. I have no 疑問 that I'll sleep through it, but we'll be together.

So the children will have gifts; they will believe Father Christmas has been. The brandy will have been drunk, the carrot nibbled and the mince pie 減ずるd to crumbs. But we will not have bought a 選び出す／独身 thing (在庫／株 photo)

I won't be buying for other adults, either. I've always taken this approach at work and in my friendship group with the Secret Santa.

Whoever draws me knows they'll be getting something from Choose Love, where you can buy 必須の 供給（する）s for 難民s and 追い出すd people across the world.

I worried that people would think this was a bit holier than thou. But, in fact, it's gone 負かす／撃墜する 井戸／弁護士席, and more and more people are 寄付するing on に代わって of others to charity.

We're 井戸／弁護士席 aware that the no?現在の approach may not last for ever with our children. It will certainly get harder as they get older and more aware. They're already becoming more and more conscious of what's normal の中で their friends. (There are rumours someone in Lyra's year is getting a phone).

However, we have 誓約（する）d that, for as long as we can, we will try to 説得する them that Christmas really can be about family and not things.

And, as they get older, they're more able to understand that experiences are really what they enjoy the most, even if they can't open them on Christmas Day.

If I can 派手に宣伝する this into the childre n, perhaps Chris will finally 傷をいやす／和解させる from the Grayskull 外傷／ショック of '87.

To を強調する the lesson, our Christmas movie will not be 社債 with his fancy cars and expensive watches ― it will be The Grinch: 'Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a 蓄える／店. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'