JANA HOCKING: The five 推論する／理由s why you're not getting laid on dates - and I'm 有罪の of at least two

• e-mail

Last week I went on an epic date. Or so I thought, until I was 急ぐd into an Uber home, alone, straight after dinner.

You see, I had finally nabbed a dinner with a guy that is the 鮮明度／定義 of va va voom.?

He had big 幅の広い shoulders, piercing blue 注目する，もくろむs, a bushy but neat 耐えるd and a laugh that lit up a room.

He was the 肉親，親類d of guy you look up to. With an amazing 職業 that 命令（する）s 尊敬（する）・点 and an 注目する，もくろむ for 詳細（に述べる） that showed in the way he dressed and held himself together.

So of course I was nervous. Now this sounds 最高の cringe, but I had some pre-pared talking points that I thought he would be 利益／興味d in and was 用意が出来ている to blow him away.

But thanks to my 非，不，無-stop chit chatting, he barely got a word in. Oh, and I was so 消費するd with 支持を得ようと努めるing him, I forgot to ask him questions.

Last week I went on an epic date. Or so I thought, until I was 急ぐd into an Uber home, alone, straight after dinner

That's two strikes.

The final strike （機の）カム when I asked if he would like to go to another 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 after we finished dinner and he said he 'needed an 早期に night'.

I was home by 9. It was the quickest date of my life.

As I glumly took off the sexy lingerie 始める，決める I was 準備するing to wow him with I wondered where I went wrong. Realistically, I can pinpoint 正確に／まさに what turned him off. I was far too keen, I talked way too much, didn't ask any questions and barely let him get a word in. Oh god.

That's when I realised seduction is a 罰金 art.

Some people are 自然に born with the gift, like Harry Styles with his cheeky grin and shy 信用／信任, Marilyn Monroe with her bedroom 注目する，もくろむs and 甘い naivety, George Clooney with his 深い 発言する／表明する and natural 教祖的指導力.

And then there are those who are not. And those people, I'm sorry to say, really stand out like a sore thumb. Myself 含むd.

They are such small things, but they're stopping us from getting laid and we must put a stop to them. So, 準備する to cringe (and hopefully self-反映する) as I 指名する and shame the '致命的な five'.

存在 too tight with cash??

Last night a guy 申し込む／申し出d to buy us a drink. He （機の）カム 支援する with two glasses of the cheaper prosecco, as …に反対するd to シャンペン酒 for $5 more. Now I'm going to get into trouble for 説 this but… ick.

If you're wanting to make a good first impression, spend a few more dollars. Yes, times are 堅い but looking わずかに tight in the pocket is not going to get us jumping in the 解雇（する） with you.

You see, I had finally nabbed a dinner with a guy that is the 鮮明度／定義 of va va voom

The same could be said for guys who buy girls Gerbras as …に反対するd to roses. And don't even get me started on 割引 dockets used on dates. If you're a little skint but still want to go on a date, why not throw together a picnic and get into the 広大な／多数の／重要な outdoors.

There are ways to seduce someone without looking tight. Get creative people!

存在 far too agreeable?

Is there anything more annoying than having a conversation with someone who 簡単に agrees with everything you say.

They're like 貧困の golden retrievers. They say things like 'yes 全く' and 'you're so 権利.'?

Have an opinion!?

No one wants to sleep with a doormat.?

We want to sleep with someone who challenges our ideas and has the 信用／信任 to 株 their own thoughts and beliefs. Now that's hot.

Vocalising your insecurities?

I have definitely been 有罪の of this one. I used to go out on dates and point out all my 欠陥s in a 企て，努力，提案 to show my date I was already aware of them. For some 推論する／理由 I thought it was 削減（する） to laugh at myself, but all it did was 最高潮の場面 stuff that put me in a 消極的な light.

So, 緩和する 支援する on joking about your baldness, or short stature or pointing out how rubbish you are at 予算ing, dancing, keeping a schedule (the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） goes on). 扱う／治療する every interaction as if it was a 職業 interview - only putting your best foot 今後. And as the 説 goes, 偽の it till you make it.

信用／信任 is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

事実上の／代理 最高の thirsty??

Those who 明確に just want to sleep with you. Eww. I had a guy come up to me recently when I was out with friends, and he reeked of かわき. He made the epic mistake of grabbing my 明らかにする shoulder in this really intimate way and patting my 支援する as he said hello. I 即時に got into defence 方式. I had never met the dude and yet he felt like he could enter my personal space. 絶対 not.

I have definitely been 有罪の of this one. I used to go out on dates and point out all my 欠陥s in a 企て，努力，提案 to show my date I was already aware of them?

One 支配する when 試みる／企てるing to seduce someone. Keep your mitts to yourself until you're given the A-承認する to get a little closer.

Not only did this guy not stand a chance with me, but he also got labelled a creep. Sure, when we're attracted to people, we tend to get sex on the brain but keep it 冷静な／正味の. People aren't 反対するs for you to paw all over.

When you talk too much??

For example, me!?

Yes, those of us who don't take a breath between 宣告，判決s. We're too busy giving you the hard sell on how fabulous we are, that we forget to listen or ask questions.?

Cringe!

As I've について言及するd, I can いつかs get over-excited on a date and just want to impress the 反対する of my affection. I look 支援する on those seduction 試みる／企てるs now and realise I was giving off desperate vibes and also made me look a little self-centred.

Ooft personal growth doesn't always feel good.

So, with a few simple tweaks we can get rid of those icky anti-seduction traits we probably didn't even realise we were doing and have better success at getting laid.?

Hurrah!

READ MORE: Here's why 'good' men cheat, 令状s Jana Hocking