In a kilt? Don't let HRH see your 栄冠を与える jewels!

THE FINAL CURTSEY BY MARGARET RHODES (Umbria 圧力（をかける） £17.99)

By Roger 吊りくさび for MailOnline
Updated: 11:20 BST, 1 July 2011

Custodian of the 王室の hip flask: Margaret Rhodes with the Queen Mother

They 簡単に don’t make characters like this any more - formidable dragon-ladies in headscarves who love nothing more than skinning a dead stag with a rusty penknife; magnificent old trouts who believe that remaining indoors is ‘前向きに／確かに immoral’, when you could be out in the 注ぐing rain chopping 支持を得ようと努めるd, pulling up ivy, weeding the shrubbery or 簡単に ‘going for a を締めるing walk’.

Last of this 強健な 産む／飼育する is Margaret Rhodes, who when on holiday swam gaily in crocodile-infested rivers. Her mother, Lady Mary 屈服するs-Lyon, was the late Queen Mother’s eldest sister - so Margaret was the Queen Mother’s niece and is the 現在の Queen’s cousin. One of the many incidental joys of The Final Curtsey, therefore, is the 特権d glimpse we get of 王室の life.

It had not occurred to me, for example, that the 長，指導者 danger 直面するing gentlemen staying at Balmoral was ‘mastering the 訂正する technique of adjusting the kilt when seated’ - as さもなければ the 栄冠を与える jewels will be on show.

When 大統領 Mugabe …に出席するd a 祝宴 at Buckingham Palace, he was serenaded with tunes from Half A Sixpence. During the war, King George VI kept a 負担d revolver by his bed and the Queen Mother practised her marksmanship by 解雇する／砲火／射撃ing at ネズミs in the garden. Princess Margaret, ‘a 需要・要求するing guest’, once broke a lavatory seat and sulked when it wasn’t 即時に mended.

Cousins: Margaret Rhodes with the Queen at Balmoral

There are heaps of 類似の anecdotes, which make this 調書をとる／予約する vastly more entertaining than the 公式に-許可／制裁d duds by 王室の favourites, such as Shawcross or Ziegler. Margaret Rhodes, who is regal herself, refreshingly 辞退するs to be fawning.

Rhodes was born as the Hon. Margaret Elphinstone in 1925. Her father, the 16th baron, whose godmother married one of Napoleon’s general s, was a 外交官 at the 皇室の ロシアの 法廷，裁判所, where one of his 親族s was Prince Felix Yusupov, who’d 殺人d Rasputin. やめる a pedigree.

主として, however, Lord Elphinstone travelled the world 狙撃 things. In 1896 alone he bagged 13 tigers, three ヒョウs, 21 rhinos, 39 buffalos, ten bison, three pythons and innumerable deer, pigs, quail and peacocks.

True to her bloodthirsty aristocratic background, Margaret Rhodes tells us this proudly rather than with horror. Needless to say, animal 権利s people earn her disdain - as do feminists and New 労働. But then she only gave up field sports in her 70s and ‘the thrill of a successful 発射, after a long, wet はう through the heather, was an exceptional 楽しみ’. Not, perhaps, for the quarry.

She 見積（る）s 殺人，大当り 350 stags in total, and the 調書をとる／予約する 含む／封じ込めるs a horrible photograph of our authoress crouched over two Thompson’s gazelle that she’d brought 負かす／撃墜する with a 選び出す／独身 弾丸.

It is in the same vein of 非，不，無-sentimental high spirits that Margaret Rhodes tells us how army miscreants are dealt with in Bhutan. 兵士s on a 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 are ‘made to run around the parade ground with large 石／投石するs 大（公）使館員d to their genitalia. Aldershot at its most 残虐な was never like that’.

More’s the pity, you can almost hear her 追加する.

Margaret was raised in a world of 城s and country house 週末s, where the ethos of Edwardian 形式順守 勝つ／広く一帯に広がるd. Meals were 広大な. People changed 着せる／賦与するs three times a day - morning dress, afternoon frocks, and long evening attire 完全にする with tiaras.

王族 was often 現在の. When her father was 招待するd to the funeral of George V, his を締めるs snapped and he had to march behind the 棺 持つ／拘留するing his trousers up with his elbo ws.

As a youngster, Margaret was tomboyish, given to playing with toy swords and dressing in 控訴s of armour. She 発射 an eagle, which in Scotland are considered pests, as are buzzards, peregrine falcons and wild cats. ‘My sister had a coat made from their 肌s.’

During the war Margaret worked for MI6, which was housed in an office 示すd パスポート 支配（する）／統制する, and helped 妨害する Germany’s 試みる／企てるs to create 核の 武器s in Norway. Her digs were impressive - she 宿泊するd at Buckingham Palace.

王室の marriage: Margaret Rhodes was a bridesmaid at the wedding of Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh

Along the 回廊（地帯） was Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands, who, having 辛うじて escaped the Nazis, arrived ‘with little more than she stood up in and a tin hat’.

一方／合間, the Queen Mother 辞退するd to be daunted, standing proudly before windows にもかかわらず the danger of 粉々にするd glass. ‘All that 恐ろしい waste is starting up again at the bidding of a lunatic,’ she said of Hitler.

On VE Day, Margaret …を伴ってd Princess Elizabeth through the London streets, mingling with the （人が）群がるs, dancing the hokey-coke y and applauding the King and Queen when they appeared on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Margaret stood on the balcony herself, when she was a bridesmaid for Princess Elizabeth and Philip Mountbatten of Greece in November 1947.

Elizabeth, we are told, adored Philip, always calling him ‘the best and nicest man in the world’. On their honeymoon at Birkhall, they went deerstalking. ‘I imagined that I might be like a 女性（の） ロシアの 特殊部隊員 leader followed by her faithful 削減（する）-throats,’ the bride said.

Margaret married 否定するs Rhodes, ‘a very attractive pauper’, who earned his living 令状ing thrillers. They lived in a mansion in Devon with a large staff, but when the upkeep got beyond them, the Queen said ‘Could you 耐える to live in Suburbia?’ and 申し込む／申し出d them a grace-and-favour house in Windsor 広大な／多数の／重要な Park.

When 否定するs died, Margaret was 招待するd to become one of the Queen Mother’s women of the bedchamber, ‘a mix of lady-in-waiting and companion’ who answered the 地位，任命する and helped 公式訪問s run like clockwork.

‘When she steps out of a car,’ Margaret said of her aunt, ‘it’s like curtain up.’.

The Queen Mother had やめる a retinue to 補助装置 her passage from one 住居 to the next - footmen, pages, doctors, 長官s, maids and chefs. No one was 許すd to retire, nor were they 許すd to be ill. The Queen Mother ‘regarded aspirin as a dangerous 麻薬’. について言及する of death was 絶対 タブー - so when a guest unfortunately keeled over from a heart attack in Clarence House: ‘Queen Elizabeth calmly led her guests from the room.’ What worries me is whether the 団体／死体 is still there.

It was Margaret’s 職業 to 確実にする life’s 中心的要素s were to 手渡す at all times - ?clairs, hip flasks brimming with gin and Dubonnet, シャンペン酒, and ビデオs of Two Fat Ladies and Dad’s Army. Margaret was 現在の at the Queen Mother’s deathbed at 王室の 宿泊する in 2002, and it was her solemn 仕事 to 報告（する）／憶測 the demise to the Windsor Registrar’s Office.

‘What was the husband’s 占領／職業?’ asked the receptionist. ‘井戸／弁護士席, King, I suppose,’ replied Margaret - which made me laugh out loud.

I 勧める you to read this charming classic - a 発言する／表明する from a 消えるd world. A 保護 Order should be placed on Margaret Rhodes すぐに.