DEAR CAROLINE: I 設立する out my late husband was a 賭事ing （麻薬）常用者 and now my 甥 wants to make me homeless
Q?I am in my 中央の-70s and, three years ago, on my husband’s death, I discovered that he had got us massively into 負債 because of a secret 賭事ing 中毒. I had to sell the house and would have been homeless had it not been for my 年上の sister, also a 未亡人, who kindly said I could stay with her.?
I have no children myself, but her lovely daughter, my niece, lived nearby and we all felt like a happy family. However, my sister died suddenly five months ago and I’m feeling 圧倒するd by grief. Now my 甥, her son, who is like his late father ? an unpleasant, arrogant drunk ? is 需要・要求するing?I move out.?
Thankfully, my sister (a retired solicitor) had the foresight to change her will, giving me the 権利 to live in her house until my death, so he has no 合法的な 力／強力にする to 軍隊 me out. However, he says that I am a freeloader staying in a house that is 合法的に half his and that I must leave so that it can be sold. My niece says to ignore him, but I’m not sleeping and feel ill because of the 強調する／ストレス.
A You have had to 対処する with a very upsetting 一連の events and are now 存在 いじめ（る）d by your own flesh and 血.?
Firstly, it must have been 破滅的な to find out only after your husband’s death that he had a major 賭事ing 中毒 ? along with the fact that he was perhaps やめる different to the man you thought you knew. Then you lost your home and now you are also grieving for your sister. Your 甥 sounds greedy and heartless and, yes, if your brother-in-法律 was like this, too, perhaps the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.?
Sadly, most 落ちる-outs after a death are to do with money. I wonder if his 爆発s usually occur when he has been drinking and if, indeed, he has an alcohol problem like his father. Perhaps he has 財政上の difficulties and is worried about money, but please don’t let him make you feel 有罪の. You and your sister were 明確に very の近くに and she 手配中の，お尋ね者 you to have peace of mind in your final years ? therefore he should be respectful of her wishes.?
Thank goodness your niece is helping you stand up to him, but I think you need その上の support. Your 甥’s behaviour might even be classed as いやがらせ, so do 接触する a solicitor and ask them for advice.?
It could be that a sharp 警告 letter to your 甥 （一定の）期間ing out your 合法的な 権利s might make him 支援する 負かす／撃墜する. But you also need help?to 対処する with the emo tions surrounding this. You are still grieving for your sister and your husband so please reach out to a charity such as cruse.org.uk or mariecurie.org.uk for bereavement counselling.?
Also see your GP 同様に as talking to a pharmacist for help with sleeping. Anyone 影響する／感情d by this letter 関心ing a loved one’s 賭事ing 中毒 can get help from gamcare.org.uk.
Should I move in with him if there’s no 誘発する?
Q I am a 離婚d woman in my late 50s and for the past 18 months have been dating a really lovely man. We have so many 株d 利益／興味s and he’s 肉親，親類d, amusing and intelligent, 加える I get on 井戸／弁護士席 with his adult children and 地雷 really like him. But unlike my former husband, who was not as nice a person, I feel no 誘発する or passion, although I know he feels that way about me.?
Now he’s asked me to move in with him and, 存在 successful in 商売／仕事, he has a beautiful home. I’m torn because I don’t want to lose him, but don’t know if I should 持つ／拘留する out for more.
I also don’t want to give him 誤った hope if I change my mind.
A I can hear an army of women 列ing up behind you, 説, ‘If you don’t want him, I’ll have him!’ However, I know it’s not so simple bec ause, without that 誘発する, even a 肉親，親類d, loving 関係 can be unsustainable. So you need to 診察する why this is 行方不明の.?
Maybe he isn’t 権利 for you, or perhaps something is 持つ／拘留するing you 支援する. Were you 不正に 傷つける by your ex, so subconsciously you won’t 許す yourself to 落ちる in love? Perhaps you are attracted to ‘bad boys’ ? you say you felt that passion for your ex even though he was not a nice person. This may 示唆する a troubled childhood, perhaps with a difficult, 積極的な father.?
Maybe your parents had 抱擁する 列／漕ぐ／騒動s and then very loving 仲直りs ? and so, for you, that became the norm. You might have internalised a pattern of thinking in which love has to be 騒然とした or it isn’t love.
I 示唆する 調査するing this alone in counselling. Try relate.org.uk. If you decide to move in, please do so for the 権利 推論する／理由s and not the house or lifestyle.
If you have a problem, 令状 to Caroline West-Meads at YOU, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, or email c.west-meads@mailonsunday.co.uk. You can follow Caroline on X/Twitter @Ask_Caroline_.?Caroline reads all your letters but 悔いるs she cannot answer each one 本人自身で
